IF ONLY I COULD GO BACK AND TAKE A SECOND LOOK AT THE CHOICES I MADE.
FIGHTING, SCREAMING WANTING MY WAY DIDN'T CARE WHO I HURT OR WHAT IT MIGHT DO
TO ME.
I WAS SELFISH AND I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT NOTHING OR NOBODY I HAD A NASTY ATTITIUDE.
MY MOUTH WAS ON A RAMPAGE I WAS USING IT TO ALL THE ADVANTAGES I COULD.
NO MATTER WHAT I THOUGHT OF ONLY MYSELF AND MY OWN FEELINGS THE WAY I TREATED
MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS.
I HAVE PUSHED THEM AWAY I HAVE DESERTED THEM I HAVE GONE TO THE EXTREME IF ONLY I
COULD HAVE THEM BACK.
I TOOK THEM FOR GRANTED I TURN THE ICE COLD SHOULDER ON THEM BUT NOW I AM
EXPERIENCING THEIR PAIN.
FROM PEOPLE WHO COULD CARE LESS ABOUT MY WELL BEING WHO WOULDN'T CARE IF I
DIED TOMORROW.
I SEE WHERE I HAVE MESSED UP THE SUN IS SETTING ON MY SKY AND IT IS DARK AND
GLOOMY.
THE CLOUDS ARE GATHERING TO CREATE A SHOWER FROM THE SKY.
THE TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE I CANNOT GO ON THIS WAY.
I NEED RESTORATION I NEED RE-EVALUATION.
TO RESTORE WHAT HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM ME.
I dare not leave
Im stuck in my room
Im a flower waiting to bloom
So i can flee from this horrid place
With a smile on my face
Spreading from ear to ear
Your sobs your cries there all i hear
But i dont care why should i care
Because do you think its fair?
That my life has been so bad
And for so long ive felt so sad
And there was nothing i could do
Id ask, Id beg and id cry to you
But no more tears will salt my face
Because soon i will be rid of this horrid place!
My mind is filled with void
I can't exhale
Nor breathe out.
I'm choking on all these words i cannot speak
Like shattered glass they
Ache and bleed
So much it hurts on the inside
That i can't even cleanse
Those tiny, insignificant pieces of pain
And free myself from this guilt
That's digging so deep into my skin.
Break me, crush me
I don't care anymore
Ignore me,
I'm too tired to care back
I'm too bruised to even notice.
It's still my body
That takes hits quietly.
Bitter with all my sore
I've tried to escape
Not my first attempt,
Yet not my last
I'm still breathing
I'm still fighting.
I am no longer my own hero...
Lights out...
I need to rest.
Looking for someone to love and care about me, looking for someone that sex is not all they
see. Looking for someone to understand my pain, for my life, I withhold alot of shame.
Wanting the love that I feel like I've never received, wanting love but I feel like that will
never be. All I've wanted is to be accepted by somebody, I don't think that God made that
bad of person out of me. I know that I'm not perfect by any means, but why doesn't
anybody care about me? Someone to love me, is that such a hard request? Why do I feel so
different from all the rest? I've been stereotyped all my life, just wanting to maybe meet the
right man that would be proud to call me his wife. Wishing that I meant something to
somebody, all I ever wanted was for someone to love and accept me.*
I loved you, you didnt care.
I said don't leave me, you broke my heart.
I wanted to talk, you walked away.
I cried, you laughed.
I wrote you a poem, you said "im with her".
I asked you to be gentle, you stabbed my heart untill no feeling was left.
I said never let me go, you left me alone in the dark to suffer.
You crushed my heart, it will never heal.
Do you know what you did to me?
Do you realize how hurt i am?
I guess you wouldnt care anyways.
You didnt care when you left me alone crying..
alone in the darkness
alone in my hell
no one to hold me
no one to see
no one to care
what will happen to me
people they see me
sitting on the street
but to them I'm invisible
even if I scream
when I beg for money
they all look away
then one day I'll leave
and no one will notice
and no one will care
and no one will see
the small crumpled body
that once was me
My mind wanders as I sit alone
Wondering what is out there
Is it a world I could care about?
Millions of people all running around
Doing their own things
Separate lives not intertwined
Is there anyone even worth thinking about?
Does anyone think about me?
I strain my thoughts
Searching for one name
One person who deserves my thoughts
So many rush through my life
Never stopping to talk
That is okay for both of us
I never take the time to know them
They are dismissed as soon as they appear
Maybe I feel I am not good enough
Could it be that they are the inferior ones?
I may never know
I don’t care enough to want to know
So, why do I even ask?
---------- Before anyone asks...NO, I do no feel like this. I was watching a TV show abut
someone who felt this way and it got my creative juices flowing. ----------