Funny Crazy Poems

Blind Man’s Five-Legged Dog Rap 

Yo, gather 'round the table, let me spin you a tale, 'Bout a blind man named Benny, he was never...

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Sausage donkey cabbage tart,
Railway pine cone bullfrog fart.
Sponge cake fairy toilet duck,
Sheep banana lampshade truck.
Table country sailboat twit,
Birdie signpost moose tree Brit.
Christmas turnip football ...

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#Was_just_a_fling
How confused am I now , when both my mind and heart presents a different version, to my sense, as I struggle to draw sense...

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Remove outer sleeve and packaging
Place in large oven proof dish
Ride dolphins perpendicular to the beach
Paint weightlessness with fluorescent paint
Season to taste and add thoughts provided
Bake...

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a dog and a frog
who stood on a spoon
and went round the town
in their dressing gown

said the dog to the frog
oh lets spoon to the...

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mr onion with his mad mad hair
miss pepper with her smoothen skin
mrs lemon looking so so fair
master cauliflower’s complexion

the long long nose of sir carrot
the...

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God is missing,                      ...

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as a fly flew onto a ski
his weight was just right you see
so off down the mountain went he
could his eyes be any larger? probably
good...

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an ostrich learning to swim in the sea
his neck like a stick floating vertically
swirling and rounding 
and bobbing a wave
an invisible hand stirs a big...

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Aye, aye! Said the Captain, who spoke on his date, 
He spoke on his date to his very first mate, 
His very first mate, the...

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I would have been here sooner
But I got in a fight with time
And lost you see. 
It wasn't fair.
I slept in a little bit, 
and...

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I packed my worth on a dinner plate
and walked afar out to sea
you see

I reached an odd little island
shaped like a banana and pea
you see

I...

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alien armpits 
dripping shimmering sweat orbs
on the crop circle  
...

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there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal) 
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam


2.
onions (red) 
tomatoes (finely chopped) 
garlic (four cloves) 
fireman's ladder (aluminium) 
disparity (secretly hidden)...

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so walking through the forest
out walking on a walk
passing tree after tree after tree
then a tree showed me its bark
interesting I thought
and so too did...

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