waitress
garcon
waiter
what
country am i
in to say no
more give
my wife
mi esposa
no vino
even if
she
asks for more
she doesn't
no gracias
from your
grazie so
s'il vous plait
or por favor no
nada nothing more
el cheque
die Prufung
thank you so much
domo arigatogozaimasu
she'll sleep
sleep it off and
never remember
that i was even there
My date said, “I always order water on my dates.”
“Then I can save a couple of bucks, which is great.”
Alarm bells started to go off in my mind.
This match.com guy was either broke or cheap, and not a find.
If he cannot afford to order me a sweet iced tea,
Then to be honest, I was ready to flee.
Maybe he was too forthright for his own good,
But it let me know how he financially stood.
He confirmed my suspicion when at the end of the dinner,
He split the tab to the penny, proving he was no winner.
He seemed so nice when he asked me for the date.
This one I will throw back, he’s too much of a cheapskate.
About my name.
If only I could have had more input!
But you were so busy reading
"What to Expect" that you
Weren't expecting how much everyone would hate my name!
Rhymes, people, rhymes! Why do you think I was kicking so hard?
About a name.
Shakespeare said a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Hmm. You could hand me the most beautiful bouquet of roses,
But if you said, "I got these Fart Flowers just for you," I'd be spelling my name for the judge issuing the restraining order.
Changing my name.
Please don't make any suggestions;
We all know how well your first choice went. My closest friends have all put in their two cents:
Chatty, Fatty, Sweet Cheeks, Banana Beak, Mommy, Daddy (no more martinis for my husband) and others not fit to print.
My chosen name.
So many choices: Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee! Or the person formerly known by a loser name!
No. I picked a winner. Sexy. Addictive. Welcome at any party!
Smoking hot, never a cheap date and so good you'll want more in a few hours! HI! I'm Mary Jane!
January 16, 2017