Name Blame

About my name. If only I could have had more input! But you were so busy reading "What to Expect" that you Weren't expecting how much everyone would hate my name! Rhymes, people, rhymes! Why do you think I was kicking so hard? About a name. Shakespeare said a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Hmm. You could hand me the most beautiful bouquet of roses, But if you said, "I got these Fart Flowers just for you," I'd be spelling my name for the judge issuing the restraining order. Changing my name. Please don't make any suggestions; We all know how well your first choice went. My closest friends have all put in their two cents: Chatty, Fatty, Sweet Cheeks, Banana Beak, Mommy, Daddy (no more martinis for my husband) and others not fit to print. My chosen name. So many choices: Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee! Or the person formerly known by a loser name! No. I picked a winner. Sexy. Addictive. Welcome at any party! Smoking hot, never a cheap date and so good you'll want more in a few hours! HI! I'm Mary Jane! January 16, 2017