A peculiar middle name, all my life I've been burdened with
Twas “Byard”, that's even worse than “Archibald” or “Biff”
What were Ma and Pa thinking
This name is still stinking
My name of Jack saved the day and made a big diff!
True story, my uncle was a famous safe cracker
Before becoming a soldier in World War One
Known to police in New York City for robbery
The army wanted his skills against the Huns
Employed him to defuse bombs the Germans threw
In the trenches around the front lines
And also to defuse all the mines around them
Till the end of the war was showing signs
Killed in the war he received a medal of honour
Posthumously for his heroic bravery
In spite of his unsavoury and unruly past
Made amends for his past so unsavoury
When I came along I was named after him
Quite a hero I always looked up to
Before the war, a burglar known to police
After death got the recognition he was due
My official name is Charles Byard Ellison
A peculiar middle name, all my life I've been burdened with
Twas “Byard”, that's even worse than “Archibald” or “Biff”
What were Ma and Pa thinking
They must have been drinking
My nickname of Jack saved the day and made a big diff!
© Jack Ellison 2015
All you Souper know me as Jack
But in reality, my real name is Charles
I will try to explain this seemingly strangel turn of events
I was the last of ten children in our family
The first nine offsprings were girls
And then came a BOY... li'l ole me!
Well the word quickly got around our small town
The Ellison girls have a baby brother, WOO HOO!
Word also got around that all nine sisters and my Mum
Agreed “Jack Norman Ellison” was to be my name
However, on the way to the church for my Christening
My Grandmother changed my Dad's mind at the last minute
And convinced him to christen me Charles Byard
After my Dad's brother who died a hero in the First World War
My sisters were livid with anger
And decided from then on
They'd call me Jack irregardless of what my birth certificate said!
And they did... so now you know the rest of the story
Strange or what???
© Jack Ellison 2014
You all know me as Percival Jack
But my real name is Charles Byard
So you know, it's pronounced by-yard
Living with this name has been hard
You guys are probably wondering
Where did that name originate
Certainly never heard it ever before
At least that's what most people state
Well here's my tale, every bit is true
Uncle Byard in World War One
Died a big hero and was given a medal
But he never ever carried a gun
Before the war he was incarcerated
For his nefarious safe cracking exploits
The army thought they could use his talents
At burglary he was very adroit
So Byard was released and joined the army
To make use of his safe cracking skills
Sadly, one day while defusing a bomb
My uncle, the hero was killed
Was nicknamed Jack, but won't get into that
It's what I've been called me ever since
I'm thinking of changing it to 'Inspired Byard'
But my wife will be hard to convince
'And now you know the rest of the story'
As radio man Paul Harvey used to say
I've hated that name since I was a pup
But 'Inspired Byard' is okay!
© Jack Ellison 2012