Science Burlesque Poems

If I shave with Occam’s razor
I will only grow a gross beard;
And all my scientific friends
Will think that I am truly weird.

If I want a...

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"The deficit model
as some would say is made to cheapen the value of something
that is of value to the mark who wants it.
the functional comparative,...

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Cpt. kirks future predictions- Food tubes {supplimitarium A B C D E}
Universal united nations {u.u.n} tying all the galactic species in celestial socialism
Robotic republicans &...

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Food in Oslo 

Before pizza ruined Scandinavian cuisine it was wholesome,
 nourishing and tasted good. Ok, so it was plain and it didn´t 
have mysterious...

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I do believe the world is flat,
I'm confident it's so.
Many adhere to the thought of a sphere,
ridiculous! I say no!
-For if this was an Earth...

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They're headed our way
In a big mothership
Cigarshaped,
With a band that reads
"Made in Cuba"

Oh, my, inside the saucers wait,
To flurry forth and wipe us out
Or to...

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What have I wrought
When I bought
That universal translator?
Now alien races contact me
I'm scared of what might
come later...
Abduction for me?
I'm afraid to see
Any more than I...

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The Scots, by God,
They drove them out,
With a single Yorkie
At their heels a' yappin'
The Hobyahs tried to fly
Their arms they were a flappin'

Some managed to...

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1) Agronomy- the science of pissing me off.
2) Ahab- acknowledging that you own something.
3) Acetone- the sound made by one "passing gas".
4) Acquaint- Not an...

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Swingin' around this
Dull grey orb,
Plastered with holes,
Soft ridged mountains
Plaster of Paris I'd swear

Took me a couple of years,
To work my way up there,
I had to...

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I awoke a bit firghtened
My senses were heightened
I had heard a soft whirring sound,
As my eyes opened,
I thought I saw three silvery Quarters
Fly out of...

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Watching all these science shows
Astronomy and such,
Lots of complicated concepts,
That I don't understand too much,

One that really struck me,
Wormholes in space and time,
Can lead to...

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Basil in your Soup?
Or Basil in a cheap 1960's Soviet Sci-Fi,
Gaping at the screen,
As missiles destroy space stations,
Oh, MY!

Oh, for 15 seconds of gaping,
He becomes...

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Not an age, not a nightclub....
The number of alien abductions
I've suffered,
From above....

They came in the night
Twenty-one times
Oh, such a fright!!!
Twenty-one crimes!!!!

Where's the twenty-one
Cops,
Should be protecting...

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MIghty radar arrays,
Pointed at the sky,
Looking for intelligence,
Don't ask me why...

Incredibly strong telescopes,
On earth and in deep space,
Peering ever so eagerly,
To find another race....

Makes one...

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