Crop Circles On My Head

I awoke a bit firghtened My senses were heightened I had heard a soft whirring sound, As my eyes opened, I thought I saw three silvery Quarters Fly out of my bedroom door... My head felt stung, My mind seemed full of dung And I dragged myself Out of bed I fought my way to the bathroom, Awful pain about my head Light put on, In the mirror I look And horrible what I saw! I had "crop circles" on my head, Circles, squares, and more My hair had become a canvas For alien artists, And they sculpted as I snore... Now, I found this rather frightening, So next night before I slept, I put on a comic wig, For funny skits that I had kept Better the wig than me, I trusted, But next morning lo, I was disgusted To see my face etched Like a Mayan Temple So this was what my plan's reward fetched! I stumbled to the bathroom, In pain and anger sharp In the toilet I retched Around my head, I secured A heavy duty tarp With but slivers for sight and breath I felt much like a mummy after death I went back to sleep, Praying the Lord to keep Those damn aliens away from me! Now I slept a deep, deep sleep, I don't think I made a peep... But awoke quite alarmed, To find myself webbed On the bedroom ceiling, And though not physically harmed, I felt my life was now less than charmed So I paid a construction company $15,000 To seal my bed in a close meshed web of steel, No alien should reach me now.... Yet somehow I was not sure... They seemed awfully capable Of making me suffer more Next morning I awoke To find I had webbed feet, Are these water-world aliens, And these they thought were neat? I called the police, They laughed at me Told me to sleep it off, I got so mad, I found myself, Suffering a severe cough Lo and Behold, out of me came, Two silvery Quarter sized saucers, So, now they're working internally!! What was I to do???? I ran to the bathroom mirror, And this was more frightening too! I was two feet shorter than yesterday They're shrinking me down to size! So I can ultimately fit in their saucer And they can fly home with their new prize!