Best Zits Poems

They say it's a time to slip in the mud, and begin anew.
Kick off the dust of yester ...
      and put on the dress of Yes Sir! and Thank You Ma'am
She sure is a joy     ...

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I really have outdone myself this time!
My ‘God Machine’ is finally in place!
I’ll never have to fret about a rhyme,
Or stop for a red light that changed from green 
As if it sought to put me in my place
A random hiccup clearly quite obscene.

I really...

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An old codger who farted a lot -
of good etiquette didn’t know squat.
When I met him, his nose
started running. He chose
his new shirt to wipe off all the snot!

Well, a nitpicker also was he,
and I mean it quite literally.
He was picking his zits 
as he...

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You meet and shake hands
Things seem fine, real grand

You're married; so are they
You all work for your pay
He's a dentist; she's in social work
Professionals, not lowly clerks  

Then you notice their kids. They're strange, a bit weird
One wakes up after noon; another has a...

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As I went with my friends MIKE and IKE 
Like THREE MUSKETEERS we went for a hike 
Down a ROCKY ROAD we watched for birds 
Down 5TH AVENUE...we all looked like NERDS
 
To find a DOVE - it paid 100 GRAND
But we stopped to watch...

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What if spring hadn't come this year?
What if we'd jumped smack into summer?
BUMMER!
I'm thinking of Schumann's Spring Symphony -
If such a thing had happened to him
There would be no Spring Symphony
I'm thinking of Beethoven's Spring Sonata
Same thing -
I'm thinking of all the rosy poetry
Hey!....no Berlin's...

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B*lly Pop's Pill  (VIAGRA)

Let me tell you a story about my grandpa B*lly.
He popped too many pills to encourage his w*ly
Instead he earned a new name for being Silly

We call him B*lly PoP's Pill
Poor grandpa was way over the hill
To him his stock was...

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Sometimes my work is the pits -
Teenagers popping their zits
With consummate art
They burp and they fart …
I still love my job to bits!

17th November 2015...

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DIRE STRAITS was playing on the KITCHEN radio while ROSIE tried in vain to play along 
with “Money for Nothing” on her HAMMOND organ. Her house always looked like a NUCLEAR 
WASTE(land) with huge TID-BITS of food all over the counters and floor. Her husband...

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How rude and obnoxious, she was, to push me down,
step on me as if i was her rug,
i might be a nerd but that doesn't give her the right,
inside and out we're all the same, right?

Only geeks have been there and i'm sick and tired...

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I remember being shy in school. Being the shyest kid was no fun, Being picked on all the time, being shy i guess was a crime. Being laughed at, made fun of, going home and crying, teachers always prying.

Being shy was no fun at all,...

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Stop
Sign
Red light Green light
Stop running by the pool
Stop annoying your siblings
Stop picking your nose
Stop Drop and Roll
Stop talking in class
Stop making out behind the gym
Stop mashing your zits
Stop going so fast
Stop staying out so late
Stop!
there's a cop
Stop underage drinking
Stop having sex
Stop wasting time
Stop lying in...

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~You're my fourth grader
boys, soccer, band and zits.
privacy, moody~...

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Uh grasshopper I hate what you do
My lawn you sit and you chew
My spray called zits
It kills bloody knits
With my slipper I whip your ass to Timbuktu...

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Goth Girl, ebony black, manners slack, hit the sack
Gothic, Hispanic, remote chic, slick, sick
Goth Girl, non- conform, nonsense, hence
Gothic, lick lick lick, slurp, chirp
Goth Girl, tongue stud, bottle of bud, I could
Gothic, unromantic, drink quick, be sick
Goth Girl, give us a twirl, strip naked, curl
Gothic,...

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