Best Zeke Poems
Public transpo buses are a poor man's taxicab,
but you can't hail a ride when you need one
You must sit and wait on a wooden street slab
Buses are municipal elephants
that move on asphalt trails
If one arrives on schedule, then all is well
Drop the money into the pay slot,
and get taken to that menial job you got
But marginal income don't motivate you a lot
Yet, be glad you're one of the fortunate few
that has a cool bus driver who loves to skirt the rules
He will tell you to call him Zeke
Not mister, not sir
Just Zeke
Thirty years, he says he's been
on the urban safari beat
Says he's seen it all
on the jungle concrete streets
Zeke loves to laugh a lot,
he loves to give out friendly hellos
And Zeke really loves helping
the disabled and old widows
Next time you're in his city,
take a chance and ride poor
If you meet Zeke, you'll be richer for sure
The 7 wonders of the world
Is quite a sight to see
But it don't compare to what we have
In the hills of Tennessee
Uncle Zebs cow is a big ole thing
Quite a sight to behold
That cow's so big that when they milk her
Her udders even have to unfold
Cousin Zeke has a six-legged mule
And man that thing is fast
One time he raced a bobcat
And the bobcat finished last
My granny's teeth are made of wood
Of course, they were bought from a store
But ever since that termite season
She don't use them much no more
Aunt Imojean has a twine collection
That she started when she was three
I guess if we unwound that thing
It'd reach clear 'cross Tennessee
Cousin Jake has a rattlesnake
He pickled and stuffed in a jar
He caught that thing a year ago
Trying to run off with his car
Uncle Randolph has this chicken
Who howls and barks at the moon
That poor chicken is so dadgum old
That she has to be fed with a spoon
Uncle Sam has the seventh wonder
An invisible moonshine still
We ain't seen it since he made it
But it's somewhere on that hill
So, after you think you've seen it all
You haven't seen anything yet
Come to the hills of Tennessee
And see things you'll never forget
They planted Hank 'neath a lonesome pine when he came to the end of the trail.
Angels ushered him to the Great Beyond and through that Mysterious Veil.
Saint Peter greeted him, sayin', "I've been a-hankerin' to meet ya, mate!"
Hank noted a sign readin' 'COWBOY SPOKEN HERE' atop the pearly gate!
"I want ya to meet a posse of pards that've been awaitin' yer arrival Hank;
There's Zeke and Tex, Fred and Jack, Moe and Slade and Jed and Frank."
"Ain't no bacon er beans here" said they, "On the choicest grub we dine!
If'n ya hanker to wet yer gullet, there's a Feller who'll turn water into wine!
And then appeared his faithful hoss Old Dan a-sportin' golden shoes!
Old Dan neighed as Hank caressed his pal and they had a genial schmooze!
On Old Dan's back embellished with silver and gold was a western saddle.
Right then and there Hank mounted Old Dan and off they did skedaddle!
As the Lord promised in the Good Book, a bunkhouse was part of the deal.
He dwelt in a room fit for a King with TV and DVD, seeming so surreal!
Hank wore a cowboy suit adorned with diamonds, rubies and jade,
Plus pointy-toed Calvin Klein cowboy boots and a vest of finest suede!
Lastly, Saint Peter placed upon his brow a bejeweled ten-gallon crown,
Sayin', "Welcome to the ranch, pard! Ye've rode the range with great renown!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
When night came, the cattle bedded down
And the night riders making their rounds
Samuel would take a strole to the chuck wagon
And Cookie would hand him his cup of coffee
As he savored it's taste
He'd check with Cookie to see
If his supplies were holding out
Then find ol' Jack crawl aboard and make another round
The nights of stary bliss
Or winds a blowin strong
The drovers were right there
To keep things from going wrong
The rivers they did cross,
Sometimes took their tole
Little Zeke was lucky to be on hand
He threw Luke a lasso and drug him to dry land
Some cattle were lost
Due to the heat
Some they had to nurse maid
If they got snake bit
The prairie dog towns were dangerous grounds
For horses, cattle or cowboys
Their holes were the cause of many a fall
With broken legs you can't ride a saddle
Nights in the bedroll
Days in the saddle
Day after day
They trailed the cattle
Granpa, when you was a kid
Did you thinks a running away from home
And look un see what's over that hill
Roundup wild horses
An bucks um out jist for a thrill?
How did you comes to get clear out here
I hear Pennsylvanie ain't to near
Was you a kid or was you old
When you packed up your bag un left home?
Was you in the war like Uncle Zeke and Granpa Don
Has you been up to the mountains like Davey done
How bouts the Injins did you knows any a them
An how bouts the buffalo how many did you kill?
Tell me granpa was granma way out here
Or did you has to goes someplace else to gets her
What about my daddy was he anything like me
Or did he jist wants to see what he could see?
I know's I's jist a girl, granpa
But I don't wants to does womans things
I wants to be a cowboy and does what they does
Help me, help me granpa, I come to you because
You're the smartest, wisest, kindest man I know
I love you, granpa
"Ain't got no prairie fire worries,"
Bob says to Little Zeke
"Lessen we gits some whar with grass"
And he kicked his horse in the ribs as they entered the pass
A week later they found grass
The cattle were starting to get weak
Samuel called a hault
And all enjoyed the two day break
Renewed the drovers and cattle stepped out refreshed
Two days later the Platt River again came into view.
The leader she began to balk
Samuel put a rope on her and Gabe gave her a whack
As they reached the other side
Some riders topped a ridge
Everyone threw their hats in the air
And holler "Here we is"
Samuel entered the bunkhouse
And to the window he did strole
He looked at the beautiful land
Bowed his head and said "Amen"
Cile Beer
August 17,2010
Through my Magic Window
I see the cowboys on the hill
Trying to convince the cattle
That they have had their fill
"Jist goes ahead un snuff nu blow
Cause ut er a thousan' miles ta go
Bafor youse'll be left un youse own,"
Called out Lester Lowe
"Two thousan' un twenty three a youse long horns
Er in fer a travelin' spell'"
Said Samuel the trail boss as he helped his drovers
Move the drifters to the dell
"This air youse first time,"
He sez to Little Zeke
"Jist keeps um a movin'
Un youse'll be a cowpoke by end a the week.
The first day went fine and Little Zeke did well
The same for day two, day three and four
He breathed a sigh of relief as Bob slapped him on the back
"Youse air uh real cowboy now ma man"
As they rode on
Each day was something like the last
Then the desert dust gave way
To the fresh spring grass
The drovers had to push harder
Trying to keep the herd a moving
When the leader thought she was boss
Samuel and his rope proved that she lost
Relative time from departure body --
Thus, from Earth we hail.
Sailing to Wolf at light-speed tardy,
Cryonic-dreams of Dale.
Awakened, rudely, at a mere eleven:
A technical glitch, a fail.
Three years to seven, it's never exact,
The crew all burnt and stale.
A compulsory note confirms the fact,
Twenty-five years until mail.
Nothing can dim the sadness I feel,
Save for my faraway Dale.
Androgynous android without a face
Plays chess and laughs so frail.
Reprogrammed to simulate the grace
Of my beloved, bountiful Dale.
Repairs all done -- frozen sleep begun....
A starship commences to wail.
Entering Wolf's red-dwarf, m-class sun.
Thawed, I recalibrate the ACF sail
For low-level orbit around planet 1061.
The lander is prepped to auto-bail.
Message received at base Alpha Centauri --
Four years to Earth and Dale.
A fuchsia sky and gravity-rich mass.
I scan for colonists, to no avail.
Starlight dining with my android lass,
Upgrade face of porcelain-pale.
I signal, farm, rave, survive and wait ... for
A reply from Earth and Dale.
I deflate and weep at the message reaped:
She was killed by a rusty nail!
On mission eve she planned and weaved,
Then cloned her brain to scale.
Bestowed to a droid, my darling destroyed --
'Twas a masterful, Holy Grail code employed.
We walk together the newly trail --
Zeke T. and android, Dale....
When wicked Zeke heard the train bell
Along the track, he tripped and fell
Some cheek and a winning way
Said "Just visiting today!"
On seeing open Gates of Hell
Adam Actually Aced An Awesome Adventure
Bradley Boldly Baked Bad Beef
Christopher Canned Cut Cold Cuts
David Dunked Darla Dimple
Evan Ecstatically Escaped Every Eagle
Franklin Flipped Fat Franks
Gary Gerrickson Gave Gary Ginton Good Gooey Guavas
Harriet Had Hot Ham
Impish Idiot Igor's Island
Jerky Jared's Jelly Jammies
Kate's Kosher Kitty Kale
Leon's Lovely Lyrical Limerick :D
Marys Many Morbid Mail Men
Nana Nancy's Nonexistent Nymphs
Orange Orangutan Oliver's Oily Olive Oboe
Patty's Peabrained Puppys Pea
Queenies Quails Quest
Rad Raphael's Rolo Rapped "Red Robins Ripped Rose"
Samuels Sadsack Sister Sat
Totally Tubular Thomas Took Tammy's Tempeh
Understandable Underdog Ursula Unfaithfully Undertook Understudy
Victors Vamped Valiant Valour
Waldo's Weird Wolf Went Walking Wistfully
Xavier's Xeroxing Xylophone
Your Yakking Young Yolanda
Zacks Zippy Zapper Zapped Zeke
Once upon a mountaintop a she-monster named Mazy
was searching for a man.
She wanted a young, honest alien man. Not a nutty old
tooth-jagged Monster like Bill or Dan.
We were horrified. Inner-galaxy dating was ridiculous.
It did not work, and was crazy.
Bill and Dan had already trained lots of wives,
and if anyone needed wife-training, it was Mazy.
She was an odd duck, always reading a book,
studying biographies, and learning crazy new things.
No Monster Man wants a smart wife; they all want an un-learned one
Who will let them be overbearing kings.
They want to be able to order them up and down, here and there,
Women who are non-subversively.
They want women who will submit to their will,
Think they are smart, and revere them unmercifully.
Mazy had been terribly spoiled. She had been allowed to paint,
and laugh, and sing, or hug a tree.
Worst of all, she was reading Encyclopedias, was working on her Teacher Training PhD.
All she should be taught to do is clean the cave out for her husband and bring his dinner on time,
This other junk, she would never use was an absolute total waste of energy sublime.
Mazy at 23 was not getting any younger -way too happy and pretty for her own “good”.
“She is certifiable,” the jealous ones said. “She will die a horrible death, alone, as a spinster should.
She was holding out for an alien man she had danced with on Venus in many of her terrific dreams.
He came down in his spaceship on a Thursday, and
Whisked Mazy away to where her visions had always dream-seen.
Leaving earth planet, some of us heard Alien Zeke tell her, “You may learn as much as you want now.”
What insane sorcery is this? That is crazy talk, right? We petitioned her to come back and bow.
We wanted her to choose Monster Bill or Dan and stop learning a new language every single week.
But for some odd reason, she stayed away, in the arms of her progressive alien man named Zeke.
Written Jan 25, 2019 Contest: A Fairy Tale For Children
Sponsor: Eve Roper
Disarray? Me? My house? My family?
Thank you! Yes, we certainly have earned the title, the crown and the sash.
You apparently were let in by one of the carpet chewers?
The watch dog is pretty much a come-in-and-open-the-frig-dog
Furious barking ceases the second a stranger, robber, or lunatic enters the premises.
Disarray? My writing? My painting? My leatherwork?
Thank you! Did you look under the couch too while you were incessantly snooping?
You would have found varmints, toys, a hot glue gun, pot holder, and last year’s Christmas brownie.
Oh, you did not get that far?
Disarray? You have not seen anything.
Let me show you the attic, the basement, the shed, the garage, and my mind.
That is where the real disarray happens.
Insanity runs in my family,
I am proud to admit. Not everyone
can claim this but it would be futile for
us to deny it. The man with the axe?
Grandpa Zeke. He wants the refrigerator
opened too. He and the watch dog are watching
your every move now.
Choose wisely.
Title: Disarray
Written: 11-21-2019
Sponsor: Nina Parmenter
Sitting 'neath an apple tree
In Edmond, Oklahoma
Thinking of the days gone by
And drinking my Corona
Body beat all black and blue
I've had less ups than I've downs
I guess that's just all that I get
As an old time rodeo clown
Should I say another season?
Is it worth what I will get?
Money, pain and broken bones
Those not broken yet
I've been gored by bulls in Texas
Stomped real hard in Abilene
But, I got my worst damn beating
By my ex, named Bobbie Jean
With a bull you see it coming
You just get out of the way
But Bobbie Jean sideswiped me
And I'll not forget that day
Put on some clown makeup
Some baggy pants, the game is on
But, I came home from one junket
And Bobbie Jean had up and gone
I wasn't set to find this
Fell in a bottle for a week
It wasn't bad she left me
It's that she took my hound dog, Zeke
That hurt more than any beating
I may have taken in the ring
I can take the biggest brahma
And the bruises it may bring
But, Bobbie Jean done hurt me
Blind sided me you'd say
I know I'll not forgive her
For taking my dog Zeke away
Now, I sit and ponder
One more empty by my side
Am I fit enough to stay here?
Can I stay for one last ride?
I know it's a sad story
Of a clown whose heart got broke
But beneath the colored face paint
I'm just an aging, sore cowpoke
So I sit beneath this fruit tree
In Edmond, Oklahoma
Pondering my future
As I drink one more Corona.
Midge the Mouse could tell that her date was not into her
He was busy slurping down all the butter off their popcorn
She wondered why did he invite me, the sneaky little cur.
Because my Uncle Zeke is the owner of Movie Galaxy in Big Horn?
They got a discount on the popcorn, he only had to pay half.
Then he decided to go Dutch, which to Midge was a big surprise.
He stopped to get a famous movie mouse’s autograph.
Then asked for her phone number in front of Midge’s eyes.
"In this place you will not find God and Jesus will not save,
It's the hotel for the fools and ghouls who went too far in their day.
Mack sits in the flames his feelings have all gone and Tony rests on a bed of nails he was never given long,
Stanley well he has no eyes they were ripped out when he fell in love.
Zeke he just props up the bar drinking bile from a leaking mug,
the bartender his name is Smith he'll shoot at you just for fun, don't ask him how he got here in the first place he doesn't like to talk about his mum.
There is a room saying 'Do Not Enter', outside you can hear bloodcurdling screams,
you can cry, beg and wish all you like but you won't wake it's not a dream.
And me? my name is Lucy Furr, I'm the boss at this hotel, my welcome gift to you is eternal life and a permanent stay as you can tell.
No there are no exits, forever indoors you must now dwell,
there was only one way to avoid this place but you thought that you'd rebel.
Now lastly let me introduce you to your roommate, Rancid Keith,
do your best to ignore his weeping sores and his illuminous gangrene teeth.
Of course, you will have to share a bed, there aren't enough to go around,
but Keith likes to kiss and cuddle and will treat you as a teddy bear for now.
With that I wish you a good night, please do sleep safe and sound,
Tomorrow is another day, just remember there is no way out!."