Best Yuma Poems
FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS -
Bad-ass old bear:
Grizzly
Grizzly
Dachshund making critical life choices:
Eenie
Weenie...
Cougar from Arizona:
Yuma
Puma
Cowardly Cock-a-Doodle-Doer:
Chicken
Chicken
Slave Driving Beaver:
Dam it
Damn it!
Aptly named female feathered friend:
Robin
Robin
Alaska poacher gets mauled by a:
Polar's
Molars
Overweight Terrier:
Porky
Yorkie
Scavenger Mores:
Vulture
Culture
After sex, bears often share a:
Yogi
Stogie
Neutered Tomcat:
Benign
Feline
Wolf in Sheep’s clothing:
Mutton
Glutton
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
Teenie
Weenies
(But size isn't everything)
.........................................
RANDOM AND RATHER REDICULOUS FOOTLES -
Overweight law enforcement official:
Whopper
Copper
Overweight Janitor:
Whopper
Mopper
Spaced-out church officer:
Freekin’
Deacon
Church officer forced to depend on Depends:
Leakin'
Deacon
Unhappy restaurant client:
Diner
Whiner
Cosa Nostra restaurant special:
Mobster
Lobster
Yep, you guessed it. A criminal Crustacean:
Lobster
Mobster
Why did she slap me? All I did was:
Toot her
Hooter
Careless Urologist:
Pecker
Wrecker
Categories:
yuma, funny,
Form:
Footle
Beware of the dingo and watch out for your goat,
he hates our current leader, but is unable to vote.
He’s been doing hard time for relations with a horse,
he finally escaped but then he was caught, of course.
Back to Yuma he will go in a red dress and cuffs,
sleeveless I might add as he huffs and puffs.
He’s pretty sneaky this dingo and he’s fond of our landscape,
if he catches wind of your sheep he might try to escape.
I pray Terry and Dave keep a close eye on this chap
the dingo is not picky about what he puts on his lap.
He’s a menace to ranchers and all animals in town,
even in the car park, on the low he is down.
The good folk in Milton Creek will surely watch for his return,
this dingo is full of disease and spreads a rash that will burn.
Don’t try to be a hero, if you hear him talking rough,
he’s been working his fingers and he was born keyboard tough.
Categories:
yuma, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Don’t let her smile fool ya, she’ll make ya crawl
If looks could kill, she’d burn a hole through y’all
She’s a fiery philly
Saloon owners aren’t silly
Cayote ugly’s bar none, warned don’t start a brawl
Met on deck at her fab watering hole
The kind who leaves ya a heartbroken soul
Stay clear, Reina's her name
If ya ain’t got no game
Ya see her gussied up courtin, cry troll!
Categories:
yuma, humor,
Form:
Limerick
Bad-ass old bear:
Grizzly
Grizzy
Cougar from Arizona:
Yuma
Puma
Cowardly Cock-a-Doodle-Doer:
Chicken
Chicken
Un-cool Terrier:
Dorky
Yorkie
Larcenous bird:
Robbin'
Robin
Slave-driving beaver:
Dam it
Damn it!
Categories:
yuma, animal, funny,
Form:
Footle
Armadilly Billy the Sling Shot Kidster, was the Sheriff of our town.
When mangy rustlers went into action, he was wont to hunt them down.
‘The Buzzard’ and his surly gang of rustlers of epically, bad renown…
Had picked Texas and other states clean, and were on the move, NOW!
A terrible dust storm, dumped them smack dab, into our piece of territory.
The evil buzzard leader sat, now contemplating, upon the hangman’s tree.
His gang was ready to rustle, as he sat scoping out, many a nefarious deed.
Their base camp was an Old Box canyon, not far, and full of tumbleweeds.
Now, snail rustling’s a crime, so word got out, of where they’d be found.
As they’d gleaned, every single snail, grazing in all the creeks, all around.
The outlaws were expecting soon, to get away quite clean, with them all.
But the sheriff of our town, Billy was steamed, and he was standing tall.
Billy went on the move, and he meant business, if you know, what I mean.
Yep! He’s tough! He’s mean! He’s focused! His eyes were hard and lean!
While ‘The Buzzard’s’ head was bald, eyes cruel, his stance was cold as ice.
In the box canyon they’d be snail kabobs, by sundown, if Billy didn’t strike.
The snails were easy to follow, just had to follow their trail of yucky slime.
With Billy’s trusty stead Jalopy, they were at the boxed canyon by noontime.
Now, No One, and I mean NO ONE, steals, while Billy’s Sheriff in any town.
That no good, low down, Buzzard better watch out, for he’d now been found.
When Billy arrived they were loading snails into a boxcar to ship for Escargot.
The French black market in Quebec would offer a price, beyond compare so…
To bring them buzzards down, Billy’s slingshot clipped each wing and tail.
Without their feathers they couldn’t fly so they couldn’t remotely prevail.
But not without looking each one in the eye, for he was the good guy, after all.
There was neigh a feather left, as they were buzzard bait, way before nightfall.
But who can tell on a buzzard, for they don’t have much to start with, anyway.
Now they were the one’s loaded on a train set to Yuma, to prison all the way.
The moral to my story is that: Crime never EVER pays. Besides…
Snail rustling is just plain dumb! They’re so slow, that it's a pain!
To the music: The Good The Bad and the Ugly.
Categories:
yuma, adventure, fantasy, fun, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
Mohawk, Mandan, Kikapu, Cree,
Yakoma,Seminole, Crow,Shawnee.
Arapaho, Chippewa and Sioux,
Mystical names to me and you.
Names like Delaware, Fox and Paiute,
Listen to their music on the flute.
Lakota, Macuna, Omulgee, Nes Perce,
Yuma,Nakota,Ossage, Washoe, Hualapai
All names that should never ever go away.
Many now confined to history, sad to say,
Mans greed for land that was not theirs,
Caring nothing for the Indian affairs.
Starved and defeated they were moved away,
Now are conveniently forgotten up to this day.
For 400 years the remainder has cried,
Who is going to pay for this act of genocide.
Man will never right this wrong, or even admit,
To the atrocities that they did commit.
Sacred Lands abused all the way through history,
Hundreds of tribes that roamed from sea to shining sea.
All long gone now lost to you and me
So many nations will be no more,
But their names live on and their spirits soar.
Remember their music and listen to their song,
Then their culture and memory will continue long.
Lest we forget. My offering of Remembrance
for the Native American Indian peoples.
© Dave Timperley 20 September 2016
Categories:
yuma, america, discrimination, eulogy, holocaust,
Form:
Rhyme
I was watching the TV the other day
When a certain Rerun began to play.
It brought me back to one of my brain's stifled bans
Because it was about Lucas McCain...the Rifleman.
All of a sudden I was drenched by a flood
of Western Shows that have been long since dead.
I'll just begin with a few you may remember
Like Marshall Dillon - later Gun Smoke as it came on one September.
But I remember The Cisco Kid
and how Poncho always did what he did
we can't forget the masked stranger
who of course turned out to be The Lone Ranger
Then there was Wyatt Earp, Cimmaron Strip, and Rawhide too,
The Guns of Will Sonnet and a Wagon Train rumbling through.
Will anyone ever forget Paladin in Have Gun - Will Travel
or Trackdown or Wanted Dead or Alive with Josh Randall?
Can we ever forget The Big Valley,
or the Ponderosa's size when Bonanza came on the tele.
There were Tales of Texas Rangers and even an F Troop,
Let's not forget Rin Tin Tin and how down on the bad guys he'd swoop.
I still can see Lash Larue and Hopalong Cassidy with his black hat
There were Three Mesquiters to watch when I sometimes sat.
Do you remember Yancy Derringer and his friend Pahoo
or Johnny Yuma, The Rebel who never yelled "Yahoo"!
Maverick, Sugarfoot, and Cheyenne were favorites of mine
There are too many more here for me to rhyme.
Many a big star began on that little screen
If it hadn't been for the Westerns...What would they have been?
It can be fun thinking about some of those shows
Because they are a part of TV nostalgia as everyone knows.
They have come and gone like the heroes they'd portray
I remember the Westerns...and their horse's neigh.
Categories:
yuma, hero, memory, remember, tribute,
Form:
Rhyme
Sammy Baker Charlie 4, he's on my tail
like a grateful whore,
guns are blazing, cannon shells spew
it's a hell of a fight over Dien Ben Phu
and this Russian mig's amazing, they
never seem to stall, look out the commies
will get you, if you take a fall
and he made a pass right by my wing
and clocked me with his pilot's eyes (black)
and I quickly nodded to him back but was
hit by a piece of flack
so I screamed to 500 miles per hour and
turned into the sun (what fun) then he shot
a missile past me but I got him with my gun
they tore into his cockpit and turned the inside
red, a hand swept down the blood-stained glass
I presumed he must be dead
his chariot (his plane) spiralled to the ground on fire,
then a billowing silky flower pulled him from the
pyre: I watched the sky and clouds guide him to
the land, then an oily red explosion lifted up the sand
I made a low low pass, across the beachy glade at
no more than a hundred feet and saw the black-eyed
devil rising to his feet
Sammy Baker Charlie 4,now I a veteran, at war no more,
and fly a Cherokee, from Tampa up to Yuma and down the Isahgee:
and when the dark clouds thunder and the rain rat-a-tat-tats
its gun,I remember the black eyed devil...oh my we had such fun!
Categories:
yuma, veterans day, war,
Form:
Free verse
I listen to a lot of contemporary Christian music because it's inspirational and
heart-warming. Listening to plenty of contemporary Christian music makes me wanting to
read the Holy Bible every single day. It's also as if I'm going to a contemporary
Christian community church in either Carrollton, Arlington, Richardson, or Plano.What I
really like about contemporary Christian music is when it's fused with a lot of pop music,
dance/techno music, rock music, and indie rock music. And out of all contemporary
Christian artists, my favorite artists are Delirious?, Amy Grant, Mark Willard, Aly &
A.J., Third Day, and others. The list goes on and on and on. These recording artists,
whose favorite genre is contemporary Christian music, are a bunch of great influences in
the lives of all of us contemporary Christan music fans, especially when he and/or she is
going to a Christian music concert. After I will have bought a contemporary christian
music CD from one of the music stores, I'll put it in a CD player and when I press play,
it'll be like I'm at a contemporary christian festival in a Georgia town called Albany, an
Arizona town called Yuma, and in Grapevine, Texas. If I had a lot of contemporary
Christian music albums in my collection of compact discs, then it's going to be like an
endless music festival. Unlike gospel music, contemporary Christian music is really
soothing and very relaxing. And if there's going to be a bunch of would-be recording
artists wanting to enter into the contemporary Christian music industry, we'll all be
ready. I wonder if we'll be able to find God in the near future?
Categories:
yuma, musicinspirational, christian, music, christian,
Form:
Epic
It Started Out With Roy Rogers
Then Moved On To John Wayne
My Family, Loved To Watch ‘Gun Smoke’,
‘The Rifleman’ and ‘Shane’ …
Mine, Were ‘The Big Valley’
‘Bonanza’ And ‘High Chaparral’
Paladin’s, ‘Have Gun Will Travel’
And ‘Rawhide’ and ‘Wagon Train’ Trails
And ‘The Lone Ranger’, ‘Zorro’, and ‘Johnny Ringo’,
‘Bat Masterson’ ‘Branded’, then, ‘Wild, Wild West’ Came
And Oh, How Could I Forget …
Clint Eastwood’s, ‘The Man With No Name’ …
So, ‘Tombstone’, ‘Silverado’, ‘Unforgiven’, ‘Appaloosa’
‘Quick and The Dead’, ‘Wyatt Earp’ and ‘3:10 to Yuma’
All Join The Ranks of Big-Western, Showdown Scenes
and Even ‘F-Troop’ and ‘Blazing Saddles’, Rode Onto My TV Screen
Categories:
yuma, cowboy-western, fantasy, funny, happiness,
Form:
Cowboy Poetry
My dancing spirit traveled with the wind to prepare a way for Yuma.
My spirit travels with the wind over the tall pine trees, the mighty oak trees, and the grassy knolls, past the Mississippi, and the Nanih Waiya Lake to the sacred Nanih Waiya Mound.
There my spirit prayed to Hashi Ikba to protect the soul of my son from Impashilup and lead him to the passage of his ancestors.
w
Categories:
yuma, spiritual,
Form:
Free verse
Yuma
Large field of corn
Surround the small town
The smell of a cattle feed
The smell of the pig farms
Hi way 34 runs through
Train tracks and dogs
Howling to the sound of
Shaking in the local trailer
Main Street full of kids
Country town, life
Pick up full of farm boys or
Left off at the local store
To spend the hard earned money
From days of toil in bean fields
Sending money back to their
Wives and kids in Mexico
Well somewhere one hundred
Fifty miles away Denver
Rich fat cats eat steak, and
Welcome to the American
Pedro, jose, maria, billy
And lets not forget Wanda Sue..
Categories:
yuma, art, happiness,
Form:
Free verse
Cumulus clouds drifted leisurely across the azure sky. The sun smiled warmly
at the earth and called to the naked perennial trees and bushes, and soft
soil of the earth to propagate. Several bouquets of blended color daffodils
and irises lay upon the graves of Enola and Yuma.
copyright 2014
Categories:
yuma, lost,
Form:
Narrative
Surviving in this kind of weather,
with a man made from chicken feather
causes me to sometimes wonder,
"Why does that dang fool hear thunder?"
I think we'd be better off instead
if that guy would come home dead.
Categories:
yuma, film, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS -
Bad-*** old bear:
Grizzly
Grizzly
Dachshund making critical life choices:
Eenie
Weenie...
Cougar from Arizona:
Yuma
Puma
Cowardly Cock-a-Doodle-Doer:
Chicken
Chicken
Slave Driving Beaver:
Dam it
Damn it!
Aptly named female feathered friend:
Robin
Robin
Alaska poacher gets mauled by a:
Polar's
Molars
Overweight Terrier:
Porky
Yorkie
Scavenger Mores:
Vulture
Culture
After sex, bears often share a:
Yogi
Stogie
Neutered Tomcat:
Benign
Feline
Wolf in Sheep’s clothing:
Mutton
Glutton
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
Teenie
Weenies
(But size isn't everything)
.........................................
RANDOM AND RATHER REDICULOUS FOOTLES -
Overweight law enforcement official:
Whopper
Copper
Overweight Janitor:
Whopper
Mopper
Spaced-out church officer:
Freekin’
Deacon
Church officer forced to depend on Depends:
Leakin'
Deacon
Unhappy restaurant client:
Diner
Whiner
Cosa Nostra restaurant special:
Mobster
Lobster
Yep, you guessed it. A criminal Crustacean:
Lobster
Mobster
Why did she slap me? All I did was:
Toot her
Hooter
Careless Urologist:
Pecker
Wrecker
Categories:
yuma, hilarious, humor, tribute,
Form:
Footle