Best Whippersnappers Poems

Deanna likes her old fashion pink plastic snap curlers.
Has brought them to Ethyl at the beauty shop since 1968.
Hair has survived fifty-one years of the same style

Unfortunately, when she gets there she is told Ethyl has passed.
She trusts none of these other whippersnappers.
What would they...

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I’m tempted to backhand the ones who call
		us sixty-somethings old or elderly.
		How dare they use such terms describing me?
		Infuriating! Boy, do they have gall!

		It’s fine to be solicitous and hold
		the door—to be polite, but not for fear
		that I’m about to croak and Death lurks near
		to...

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Talented in closing every door
and drawer left open by my spouse.
Those beastly eyes from childhood;
doors and drawers under the bed, too.

Talented in tripping and spilling,
splashing and controlling (only
the remote control - what wife doesn’t
like to watch her favorite show?)

Talented at staying indoors with piles
of books...

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Up bright and early at the crack of dawn
Seems that's been my routine forever
Don't wanna waste a single damn moment
Don't wanna miss a single thing ever

Time seems forever when we're wee folks
Old age is a bunch of decades away
Then all of a sudden it jumps...

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All across the webbed wide esse Scott's wold
emerald green Trifolium
carpets harbor untold
burrows of tiny Leprechauns clover
(leaf) ways grant trifold

wishes if captured might
divulge pot of gold
at rainbow's end, and e'en mend
yar shoes, whence re: souled,
thence tread softly beneath subthreshold

of audibility, cuz unseen universe
hapts tubby microscopically rolled
with...

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I hate bad drivers and young whippersnappers
Who ignore old Bing and choose Gangsta Rappers.
The lack of good manners in young and old too
Makes me shake my grey head and wonder just who
Began this thought that the whole world starts with me -
While no one owes...

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Congratulations! You've now lived
a full half-century.
I'll bet you're asking, "What's in store?
What changes will I see?"

As one well past her fiftieth,
I know a thing or two.
Sit back, relax, and listen up
as I enlighten you.

First, you'll become quite popular.
Six times a month you'll see
a letter from...

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"Youth has its benefits
And age its history
We can be capable and inexperienced
Or have libraries of knowledge
For viewing purposes only.

Who are you to choose both?"

Father was cruel and strict but how could know
that his son would one day lasso up criminals
without so much as batting an...

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This looks like Blink’n Wink’n and Nod the old-timer said.
He was a lifelong reader, this guy we call Frankenstein Fred.
I thought it was Wink’n Blink’n and Sod, I said to rile him up.
He rolled his eyes at me and took a sip from his coffee...

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Particularly pronounce abscess,
when rites of spring accursedness
prevails, asper testament, sans swell
scored psychological achiness
recording minecrafted history, 

viz secreting acridness
permeates profusely predicated puberty,
akin to ambling au naturale adulteress
plethora plush plumage plus perfume
presage prickly profuse inauspicious pre/

post pubescent and adult affectlessness
propensity poisons primary predilection
pummeling poking pillorying
perpetual purgatory with...

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Now listen to me, you young whippersnappers
Got decades of experience in all worldly matters
Like the theory of relativity
Or keeping girlies in captivity
Just the thought of it leaves my jockeys in tatters...

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Bonanza of shamrocks will soon blanket Green Acres...
where Lassie free to run across petco junction 

All across the webbed
wide esse Scott's landed wold
emerald green Trifolium
carpets harbor untold
burrows of tiny Leprechauns clover
(leaf) ways grant trifold
wishes if captured might
divulge pot of gold
at rainbow's end, and e'en mend
yar...

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"You will come to the grave in full vigor, Like the stacking of grain in its season.
               — Job 5:26

Abraham breathed his last and died in a ripe old age, an...

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Look at all these cows that's runnin' free
You gotta stop sayin' OMG
Get around that group and head 'em South
Quit mumblin' LOL - shut your mouth
That bull you thought was your BFF
Is headed West 'less you turn him left
BTW that fence they broke
Comes outta your pay...

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I’m in my prime,
just now finding my steps,
working on all four cylinders,
I’m a pistol, as sharp as a pin.
I’m not Joe Biden
I look younger in aviators.
My teeth are brand new
and who needs hair plugs?
I’m a spry 71, almost limber
just a little less stiff than timber.
Mockingbirds...

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