Best Whiney Poems
I bought Trumps book of poems, yes it's true
And I really think you should get one too
Because you just don't know
When tissue stocks get low
So, keep a copy of it in your loo...
Trump sent kamala his poetry book
Said she'll have plenty time to take a look
Her wonky Kitchen table
Is now quite firm and stable
Kamala was pleased it no longer shook...
Tom Cunningham
If I’m ever gifted soup’s book
I wouldn’t even take a look
I’d rip out poems by “Trump”
For use after I dump
The theme is pure gobbledygook...
Jan Allison
I'd use Trump's pages to wipe my hiney
And keep my toilet bowl quite shiny
Not a word would I read
About his need for greed
He's not a poet; he's too whiney...
Lin Lane
Trump's new book of poems is a farce
He can't write a poem from his a r s e
Fake poems galore
Are all just a bore
His poetry book fans will be sparse...
Tania Kitchin
Donald Trump is down and singing the blues
Seeing his poetry going down loos
The thought of success
Had gone to his head
Now his ego is definitely bruised...
Beryl Edmonds
Written by Trump’s own hand
Is a fairytale about finance
His poetry book
For crooks to cook
Up a USA scammer plan...
Karen Jones
Donald Trump is now the new boss,
Those Demo-Craps are paying the cost,
Trump stuck to his guns,
And finally won,
Fake news spread by the media lost.
John Read
Categories:
whiney, fun, humor,
Form:
Limerick
Tale of a Squirrel's Tail
There once was a very impudent squirrel
pretending to be an innocent girl
she wore a blonde wig
tried to act so big
dancing and prancing, giving life a whirl
One day I caught her peeping at my sill
gave me an evil eye...if looks could kill
shot back with a frown
had to take her down
I'll get that meddlesome squirrel. Yes, I will
She's not naive like sweet lil Goldilocks
but was wily like a devious fox
no porridge she'd find
I spanked her behind
with the heel of my brand new rubber crocs
She screamed at me until her face turned blue
"I'll get even with you, before I'm through!"
Oh, she is quite nuts
She limps 'steada struts
Whiney baby was crying, "Boo hoo hoo."
She cursed naughty words and off she scurried
Twitching her bushy tail as she hurried
I'd no cause to fret
Rodent trap was set
Tonight I'll feast on squirrel that's been curried
^..^ ^..^
4/27/17
For Jan Allison
syllables of 10-10-5-5-10
Categories:
whiney, humor,
Form:
Limerick
itch itch itch moan moan
whine wine white wine whine wine whine
obsession, who me?
whimpy whiney groan
tear out my heart - pity me
"grumpalotamous"
wa waa waaaa waaaaa waaaaaa
get up grow up shut up please
want my Wrenna back
Categories:
whiney, wine,
Form:
Haiku
I list of joys, “Oh boy.”
Well, (1) I know is I have hands
(2) of them, “You understand?”
(3) my son, took two to make he
(4) a pair of eyes and glasses to see
My voice OH yes, to sings a joy
(a hammer and nails to pin down the hoi polloi)
My homes a gift, I give to me
The lawn, the flowers and the trees!
A heart to love and sensitivity.
God bless my Dad’s gift of wanderlust
And the whole world’s a gift from He to me!
Good food, clean water, my health
I know the list should go on endlessly.
But SO hard to stop being a whiney baby!
Categories:
whiney, friendship, introspection, life, love
Form:
List
In France a cow's called a vache
A crass bovine who's moo is so brash
Some are infected by mad cow disease
They give sour milk, making rancid cheese
I know what will be a cow's fate
One day soon she'll be on my plate
I will not miss its whiney mooing
Or cow pats in fields from its poohing
Inspired by but not for Animal Nonsense Contest
08-18-17
Categories:
whiney, animal, food,
Form:
Rhyme
It didn't take long
every manager there
tried signing both men.
Looking out for there
interest, calling making
arrangements. Both men
were advised of what
they were getting involved
With. They choose a manager
and signed the contract.
A meddling Scooter Bainez
Came down and involved
himself, told both men
He looked forward to weaseling
his way into contention, and told
whoever lost should be made to
leave; cause didn't feel like hearing
no whiney helper licking his wounds
like a whiny brat!
The match went on.
At 22:19 " Meaty" Morehead of Ord
Came down to ringside and
Apache Chopped "The Kruel"Cast Guilder
allowing The Big sky , to gain the fall
at 30:01. The Big sky became the new
World's champion!
Categories:
whiney, cool, culture, dance, environment,
Form:
Bio
Shift
Watch as
Seasons change
And with them go
Dancing while we stare awestruck in wonder.
Cold
Winter
Cycle starts
Best keep indoors
Now wait out the ice as Demeter weeps
Spring
Relax
Returns warmth
We love again
As we smile at the blue sky and rejoice.
Hot
Summer
Again hide
Truly picky
In turn we yelp of the heat, never glad.
Fall
Cool down
Still pleasent
Leaves paint themselves
All shall brace for the start of new events.
Shift.
Always
Self pity
Unsatisfied
Our race far too whiney, no gratitude.
Categories:
whiney, nature
Form:
Tetractys
BEFORE HE DID ANYTHING
THEY FOUND WORDS TO
DESCRIBE HIM
BEFORE HE SOUGH LOVE
THEY SAID WHY HE AS A MAN
WASN'T MAN ENOUGH
FOR THOSE HE WISHED TO BE WITH
BY THE TIME THEY WISHED TO
ADJUST THEY SAW NEITHER
HIM AS A PERSON OR HIM
AS AN INDIVDAUL
ONLY HIM AS A MEMBER OF A GROUP
THE WHINEY ONE HIM WHO COULDN'T
AND HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO ACHEIVE
BECAUSE THEY WOULD
MAKE IT SO, THAT HIS INDIVDAUL EFFORDS
WOULD BE HINDERED BY THOSE
WHO WISHED HIM UNLOVED
AND UNADORED
ONE EVEN SPOKE OF THEIR UNDOING
SO THAT THOSE ACHEIVMENTS WOULD BE
LIKENED TO THOSE OF AN UNLIKELY
PERSON OF FILTH AND SCUM
FROM WORDS BY.....
ARKCODEZ " THE SOUTH BOSTON FLUTIST" DELGRIN
FROM THE WORKS OF HUSSY, BASHER THE MAN HATER!
Categories:
whiney, art, bullying, business, character,
Form:
Ballad
HIC, A HIC, TYBURN
~~~~~~~~~~~
Windy,
Windy,
Whiney,
Winey.
A day down a windy, windy road,
okay, me a whiney, winey toad!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Homonyms: Windy - Blowing. Windy - Meandering. Both based on English English.
Homophones: Whiney, always moaning, winey, hic, hic, you speak for yourself.
Composed on the 20th January 2018. Amended 1/22/18 to conform with the correct format.
Entered in 'Write me a Tyburn', poetry contest sponsored by Kim Rodrigues
Categories:
whiney, wind, wine,
Form:
Tyburn
Not much about Goldilocks is really well known,
Except she liked to hang out in the woods all alone.
Of other customs and habits we have just a splintering:
She was whiney, persnickety,
And obviously skillful at breaking and entering.
No deadbolt or burglar alarm could defy her.
A common criminal, then, is how history should try her.
The three bears, that morning, had gone outside to forage
For sweet berries and nuts they could add to their porridge.
On returning, they found this young girl in their bed,
And their first misconception was that she was dead.
Since she also was human, they were somewhat afraid,
But after looking around at the mess she had made,
They debated the question of how they should treat her,
Then took a quick family vote and opted to eat her.
Now, bears are opportunistic, don't adhere to the letter,
And when it comes to cuisine, "haute's"* not necessarily better.
These three had had Muslim, a Mormon, a Christian, a Jew,
And a Tibetan monk, just to mention a few.
But they couldn't care less for religious perversity,
When it came to free food, they were all for diversity.
What they weren't quite sure of was how this one they'd render,
Or was she naturally tender because of her gender?
So heed this warning all squatters, all beakers and enterers,
Before invading the space of homeowners or renterers.
Beware lest your miscreant action finagles a sad end,
Like our heroine,
Who never dreamed, I'll be bound,
She would ever be found with three bears chowing down,
Complementing their porridge with Goldilocks and bagels.
*As in "haute cuisine" (pronounced "oat kwee-zeen"), French for "fine dining".
Categories:
whiney, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
from the tagboard media group.....
the Kelp Seaworthy Report....
Kelp)......... did you know, that Saturday Night Wrestling
returns to the Mid-Town Civic Center
get your tickets now..... we know the people In Dolbane
like there wrestling.. and we gotta line-up
for you!
They negotiated to get his contractual release, and they got it!
he's straight out of Japan, fresh off his
tour as Champion
he came back to the U.S. for one reason,
he's looking for gold, tomorrow night
Main Event Wrestling and Pro- League Sports
unite to give not only the fans, but these men
the opportunity to
set the pace of how things should be.
" Rite Gripp" Stubby Stumps makes his return
as the partner of " Whiney" Izzy Best
they go up against
" the worlds Finest"
Maddog and Bellows, the world tagteam champions.
" Ziggy Mellows and " Proper Time " Midnight Gitty Banex
go head to head in a " taped fist slobber knocker"
only the referees count or a pinfall, or submition can create a winner
"CityBoy" Dingle Dewright goes one on one against
the " Hoedown Hillbilly, get the ring reinforced the HoeDown Hillbilly
had breakfast in bed.
former Tag team Champions
Members Of the Urban Nights ( Hawk Menace and Starboard Eagle)
will meet Japanese Sensations: Koto Rin Tanko and Ensue Daeun
get ready for some high flying hard hitting ring action
In the main Event
" Whizzer " Engul Summers will challenge the former World Champion
Lavish Usain Trisp in what is expected to be a wrestling epic " contenders Goldmine Classic" winner gets a championship bout at venue of his choosing.
rules are simple
best two out of three falls.
first round is submission match ( figure four verses Glanders Clasp) or a pinfall
second round is no Dq
the third round ( if necessary) will be
a stance start- con Ness Te, the ref will restart each decision and the bell keeper, and an outside ref will
tally points to make a winner.
get your tickets and come on down, we got a lot of wrestling for you!
enjoy the preshow with The Pretty Women of Venice Band and chorus>>>
come on down and bring the family with ya!
this has been the Kelp Sea worthy report!
Categories:
whiney, dance, guitar, introspection, music,
Form:
Elegiac Lyric
I was astounded to find myself teaching paratroopers how to jump.
I honestly have never done this before! I said. My voice sounded whiney.
A plane full of handsome young marines laughed in unison.
The impetuous I needed to wake up. Marines don’t laugh.
Categories:
whiney, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Light Verse
A young witch named Hermione
so thin she almost was boney.
Anything but whiney,
punched Malfoy’s eye shiny.
Brilliant! His spying stymied.
Categories:
whiney, fun, halloween, holiday, humor,
Form:
Limerick
To so distance myself
From its loud rumour
Whiney, needy, the earth o'er
Attending each care
Unless that soul, at peace
Its own skies re-mount
Summer-time's "off into the blue"
Escapes go nowhere.
Categories:
whiney, travel,
Form:
Rhyme
I thought you meant Whitney Houston
not whiney.
Trump Winey With a Thing Terribly Tiny
Trump may always be weird and winey,
When someone said his is terribly tiny;
Likes to brawl;
On wall scrawl;
His brilliant things seem to be so shiny.
Jim Horn
Categories:
whiney, adventure, allegory, analogy,
Form:
Limerick