Best Wedding Cake Poems
It is an important cake that I had to bake with out a rake so that it would be
real It has a special filling that the groom himself requested and has not been
tested a flavor that is also a favorite of mine no matter where I dine even with fine punch It must not even come close to being dropped nor even flipped
It is a family specialty both with and with out the decorations with not one
splotch not one drop of scotch although my watch seems to have been some
how misplaced plus every step retraced although perhaps it’s in the van with the
pans of sandy ham maybe even on the can of Pam- wherever it is I can not put
down the cake to look
My book when last seen was next to the cake which was nowhere near the
hooks my watch may have been there too when I was using my decorating tools
with out boos but wherever my watch happens to be I am grateful I have not run
into any yellow bees I hope I am not late regardless of the fee because I have to
make a delivery even if for free
Well whatever the time even if I only get a few dimes and limes this is a
special occasion so this better be the right destination regardless of
instantaneous regeneration of plants with out procrastination or any kind of
hesitation despite some close calls that would make it resemble the leaning
tower of Italy here comes the wedding cake!
What a beautiful, romantic day
Most wonderful day of my life
I soak up the sun, every ray
We're going to be husband and wife
The wedding cake's beautiful but where's the knife?
And where's my dad? He should be here
To give me away, oh my, oh dear!
Oh my God! What a Stag Night
I can't quite remember, what did we do?
Why's there a tattoo on my butt on the right?
And why is half my hair blue?
I'm panicking now about what will ensue
When in the shower blue dye starts to disappear
And the girl's name just dissolves from my rear.
I'm loving the stairs on the cake
A three layer
A triple dare
Of a husband number three
My beautiful day, I swirl for the show
Hubby number three won't be free for a while.
Still puzzling, how did I get here?
A triple trouble stands in front of me
The bachelor party a couple of nights ago
I wish I was free again
The knife in the cake crumbles as the sweet cake is savoured.
As the blushing bride I look all around
My brothers and sisters, eyes open wide
They look at the cake and at the groom frown
But they're smacking their lips but not at the bride
The church doors are locked, everyone is inside
When will the service be over, how long will it take?
Before they can get their hands on that cake.
As the blushing groom I nervously look at a sister
The brothers are scowling, her kids just grinning
Don't think you can back out now mister
My fate is sealed, my head is spinning
The priest calls to order, the service beginning
I glance across at the majestic cake
Like Kilimanjaro no knife could it break.
The wedding day rings dancing on the plate
Waiting to be worn on this forever date
The service ends, the wedding bells still ringing
The now wife and husband each having
A million thoughts running
The groom takes a quick glance at his years of single
The bride not holding back on this mingle.
She loving the stairs on the cake
A three layer, a triple dare
Of a husband number three
He is still puzzling, how he got here
The cake demolished to only one crumb
Just like his chances of being free
A Chocolate Sponge Wedding Cake
---------------------------------------
Three chocolate bases
hold up a chocolate cake.
Three chocolate bases!
A dream, for heaven's sake.
Ruffles of rich chocolate
look like a piglet's ear.
The wedding guests are stoic -
of their weight they have no fear.
Solidly, the chocolate
is billing the top spread
and chocolate sandwiches, I've heard,
(or maybe what I read).
The cake is crowned with chocolate,
yes, more to fill the plate.
The bride, in white, is common sight,
but her cake is quite first rate.
2/7/2017
Contest - Brian's Select J
Sponsor - Brian Strand
3rd place win
The Wedding Cake
I told my bride that we should have
a special wedding cake
Something very different,
a statement it would make
Explaining how I saw it
and the flavors I desired
The special little figurines
my vision had inspired
How it would be delicious
in our favorite butter cream
Tinted in the color red,
yes that would be a dream
I even drew a picture
of each layer to the top
I really got excited
it was very hard to stop
Its then I looked into her eyes
and saw an evil stare
I asked what I had done so wrong
would she please like to share
That’s when she shattered all my hopes
when these few words she said
“There’s no way I will have a cake
that’s themed “The Walking Dead”
I guess that means I shouldn’t take my Daryl vest on the honeymoon. : )
2/27/17
Written for the Relishing Cake Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Julia Ward
I relished my wedding cake.
Something I could never make.
I'm a useless cook but lucky for me
My mother in law is an expert you see.
Another son had opened a bakery shop.
She taught him all the knowledge he'd got.
From knee high he had learned at her side.
How to make any pastry rise high.
That cake was moist as moss after rain.
Fruit with raisins soaked in Guinness again.
After mixing with nuts and flour.
Then arranged into a tower.
The icing was a dream come true.
Iced baskets at each corner too.
Filled with flowers that looked divine.
I was so thrilled that cake was mine.
Such a happy day we had.
Thinking of it now makes me sad.
"Minutes in the mouth, years on the hips."
Pity he turned out to be such a d***.
When William spied his lovely bride,
he did a double take,
but his mind was caught in delicious thoughts
of the six foot wedding cake.
Kate looked good like a duchess should
but he felt his stomach rumble,
with dreams of mounds of buttercream,
under English toffee crumble.
William is wise and it was no surprise
he vowed not to forsake
but he rushed his lines so he wouldn’t miss
his tea and biscuit break.
Kate so fit, would have none of it
nor allow him to partake,
she couldn’t bare seeing her royal heir
up to his ass in cake.
Kate looked alright on their wedding night
she was glad to be his wife,
William couldn't ignore what he’d waited for
He grabbed himself a knife.
It didn’t cut through then William knew
he’d made a big mistake,
he might have known
it was Styrofoam
the royal cake was fake!
Indeed, a strange wedding cake!
This is real strange, I must say.
You must absolutely hear this, I pray.
Almond marzipan, on stands masked with black chocolate;
Candy laces and ribbons made its beautiful garbs.
I ponder; why in God’s name, eat all these carbs!
Seriously, are these black Fondant roses I see here?
Quite an evolution from our traditional bride’s pie!
Well…what does this imply?
Dreading a wedding life with dark future
or does it symbolize breaking off with past lovers;
Invited surely to take the party's leftovers!
As the knife cut through innocent white,
dark jelly oozes out and trickles down the levels,
staining the spotless damask into perfect designs of devils!
Red marmalade takes its turn to flow down into rivulets.
The bride and the bridegroom poke a finger, each
to share it and I hear a spine chilling screech…
All I see is their demoniac grin as I make it to the exit!
22/02/17
Contest 'Relishing cake' by Julia Ward
8th prize out of 10 - Glory
Judged 7/03/17
Their cake was filled with stuff,
like candy, fish and cheese;
so hard to find a pair
as badly matched as these!
for the Relishing your Cake contest
One of the guest star of the dazzling celebration
Stands in a white lace tablecloth decorated table
Colorful flowers serve as eye catching attraction
Watering the taste buds of the present guests
Vanilla and dark chocolate swirls in the first tier
Ripe strawberries fill the second tier with sweetness
Lemon entices palate to taste the citric flavor third tier
Carrot and walnuts mix in the fourth tier with cream
Red devil's food adds a bright color to the fifth tier
Banana brings a tropical touch to the sixth tier
Luscious flavors invite to degust a slice of each tier
Buttercream rose swirls frosting add a romantic feeling
February 7, 2017
Today it is the day
To choose my wedding cake
I love anything to do with words
So my decision was easy to make
I went off to the baker’s
And they had lots of styles
But I had my heart set on a cake
Adorned with Scrabble tiles
It was to be iced with red fondant
And the letters would be white
With the number of points on the corner
It had to be just right
There would be a message
On tiers one and two
‘Words can not describe
Just how much I love you'
Our initials on the top
On individual tiles
I want it to be the best wedding cake
That's been seen for miles
I've had some ideas
About the cake board
I saw one on ‘the net'
I really adored
Green squares of fondant
With white piping divisions
What words can go on it?
Decisions, decisions
How about ‘love, honour, respect and trust’?
All of these details must be discussed
When my cake is finished
A photo I will take
I hope you won't be lost for words
When you see my wedding cake
Brides name is Hazel Almond,
Her groom is mad about Hazel,
Their wedding cake is a diamond
Shape with pecans at the basal,
Between each layer of Genoese
Is pistachio flavored butter cream
That oozes out when you squeeze
a marzipan covering is their dream,
placed on top the lucky couple
Bride holding her sweet chestnuts
made the guests laugh, chuckle,
at Groom with his hand on her butt,
Frosted with royal icing such skill
Showed by confectioner, Andrew
Patissiere well known in Brazil,
Sprinkled with chopped cashew.
A wedding cake that tasted devine
For a couple of same taste and looks
Without each other would sure to pine
because for each other, they are nuts.
composed 12/2/2017.
The wedding cake beaver with a cha cha cha
Down New Orleans way, danced the Mardi Gras.
We said “don’t tell us he’s coming this way, Ma.”
She nodded and said “Better tell your pa.”
When the wedding cake beaver comes your way.
It means there is going to be a wedding day.
We were eight and six and scared now for sure.
The only one old enough was our cousin Cure.
Cure was seventeen, is that old enough?
To get married to some old doddery duff?
The wedding cake beaver came in with a flounce.
This mission statement he did announce.
A wedding fell through today down by the pond.
I knew your family liked cake, and this is the road I was on.
They don’t want the cake, would you like it today?
We were so thrilled we let out a hip hip hooray!
Jill’s wedding cake reflected her eclectic personality
Perky, pretty with prominent polka dots
It included stripes and flowers
Jill is an artist the groom’s side explained to each other
No one had to explain anything to Jill’s side. They are all artists.
Her wedding dress was an ombre of spring colors.
She was as fresh and dainty and lovely as her cake.
Jill is going to shake up that other family her friends said.
She was full of giggly delight when she arrived in front of her groom.
Ready to shake him up first.
The bride and groom
decided to bake
a white icing and double chocolate
wedding cake;
never much of a cook
it was a chance the bride took
a special dish
to serve their friends
who would come and attend
flour and cocoa on the counter
soon the groom was smiling..
the room a disaster!
food was everywhere
the floor the air
even..the brides hair!
eventually the made their cake
and now a special memory
they have to keep
a wonderful birthday wedding cake
two celebrations in one
the baker stacked roses and carnations high
in peaches, pinks, and lavenders
delighting she was asked to cater her daughter’s wedding