Best Warned Poems

She expected very little from the guy
  A lesson she had learned long ago
     Guys are after just one thing
             It always started
     ...

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Mama always told me
girl you must be wise
the Devil's out there somewhere
and he's wearing a disguise
he will try to trick you
with his evil ways
and he will make a fool of you
with the games he plays.
Listen to me baby
he could be headed your way.

I tried to...

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My sister Susie loved picking her nose
To her chagrin her little finger froze
It was stuck so far
Doc used a crowbar
Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose!



14TH January 2016...

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One day when I ran out of money,
I knew where to get me free honey,
But forgetting one thing
That the owners do sting,
And black eyes from bee stings ain’t funny....

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My toilet was blocked, what a bummer
I texted Curtis, he’s a plumber
He got out his long rod
Gave my blockage a prod
If lucky t’will be fixed by summer!

The plumber has read a food thesis
Why faeces aren’t falling to pieces
If you go the whole hog
You will poop...

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Spare me your dull platitude
I'm really not in the mood
It's time to change your tune
Or eat your steak by spoon
~ Time I give YOU attitude!


7-7-6-6-7  “really” = 2 not 3 syllables

AP: 2nd place 2020

Submitted on July 29, 2019 for contest WHAT’S BUGGING ME sponsored...

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There are people in this world today,
Who know they have something special to say,
So listen, Listen.
They may be right, and we may be wrong, 
So they try in a song to help us along,
If you listen, just listen
Bob Dylan warned us years ago, 
“To gather...

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Blackrock Corporation is in control of Ten Trillion dollars. It is the  biggest asset holding Corporations in the World. One of their top managers Edward Doud left and was interviewed by Dr Naomi Wolf. Dr Wolf interviewed Mr Dowd. The information and proof shown...

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This pulsating pain in my head lingers yet another day
This whiskey bottle lies dead and dry upon the floor 
My sheets ripped off the bed were so much love was made
You warned me I'd pay..
Those were your words as you shut the door, and I...

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We Warned You


Yes, we warned you about that pack!
Such vicious, life-threatening beasts
can capture you and bring you down;
and one by one, on you will feast.

You stay away from them, we cried!
Don't let them come too near your home.
Do all you can to chase them off
and...

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Screw the rules is the motto I live by
Too old to toe the line
So sue me and then just try to collect
Won't be alive to pay the fine

I'll be kicking up daisies on a hill out back
As you tear out all your hair
Sure had the...

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Holy Crap
Another year slips away
Put on like 30 pounds
Pertty hard to take off
You see I like sea food I see it and eat it

Now with muse in hand
Even Jenny Crank has stepped up to the plate
With how to shed 14 inches off waistline in 1...

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Justin Bieber You Have Been Warned

By Elton Camp

All the young girls he does delight
They think of him both day and night

Whether it be a dance or some song,
It seems that he can do nothing wrong

The public his music will eagerly buy
To see him appear in...

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There was a time in my life, when my interests did sway.
I studied the darkness, and all the dark ways.
Tarot cards, rune stones, palm reading and such.
Past lives, witchcraft, even had healing touch.

I wanted to know them, to see if they were real.
I just wasn't...

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I see other girls tag themselves as the girls you mom warned you about
See they're so right because they aren't like me
See they can not reach my standard
To reach me they need to spout 
Because I was taught
Taught by my mom
And that,that makes me the...

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