Best Varmints Poems

The ranch on which I hang my hat, though short on most the frills,
Is thirteen sections, give or take, of rugged trails an’ hills.
We call it ‘home’, our little world, our very own frontier,
Amongst the cattle, sheep an' goats; the varmints, hogs an' deer.

Today I...

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but i wouldn’t fault you words spilling from a loose connection 
i forgive the negative 
they are tied to your artistic temperament 

your heart 
translucent 
exposes wires tattered and frayed
a myriad of internal cuts and bruises

i can hold such damage
with barely a touch
soothe the gnawing...

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As morning glowed pale light over the town of Soup Creek,
Jenna woke with a start when she heard a floorboard squeak.
She raised her gun and took aim at a shadow near the door,
"Hold it right there, Mister, unless you're lookin' to start a war."

A familiar...

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The death of winter carries varied sights.
In April, when dandelions roar, “It’s Spring!”
green yards transform by magic overnight.
Gramps had sprayed his lawn, but in ours weeds bring
an old game for kids as they dance and swing.

Small windmills in disguise, children spread seeds
giving Grandpa a cause...

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"Happy Easter To You!", is the greeting I hear them shout!
Alas, I just lamely roost here, brood, ponder and pout!
I've worked for weeks making eggs and I'm all tuckered out!
All this hoopla about rabbits, I can really do without!

Me, my mom, aunts, nieces and innumerable...

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To all you varmints
Who like to squeeze the Charmin's
I went to the grocery store one day 
And someone had the Charmin's squeezing away
I said hey what are you doing that for
Like come on right in the store
She looked at me like i was spun
Like it...

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but i wouldn’t fault you words spilling from a loose connection 

your heart 
a myriad of internal cuts and bruises
exposed wires tattered and frayed

i can hold such damage
with barely a touch
soothe the gnawing of varmints uninvited

be that handy little light
one carries to duel the dark

Thu...

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Frontiersman David (Davy) Crockett,
Often lived on dried fish and jerky kept in his pocket,
Wore caps made from the skin of varmints various,
The odour, ..no doubt, ... was nefarious.




for Clerihew contest sponsored by Catie Lindsey...

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(my acknowledgement 
to the loose canon of Robert Frost)

An above average snowfall
heavily swathed sage heather 
followed by substantial unusual rainfall
punctuated months before, during and
after the growing season

delivered one of the
most hearty crop yields
in living memory 
within the generations of men
of this (or any neighboring)

Norwegian bachelor...

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All an illusion


It's all an illusion. 
No matter where I am, I am alway just,
sitting there. Unaware, with a blank stare messy hair
and probably the same clothes that I always wear.
Wrangler jeans, and a button up, sleeved. (period)
Because, I hate T-shirts.
Hate them!
In fact, I'd be...

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There are nights I take a pallet to the porch,
screened-in top to bottom for a peerless,
solitary panorama of emerald grass sloping
to rippling lake, protected from threat
of varmints, a resident reptile or two, 
known to favor unattended pets, the smaller
the better.  I'm not a mouthful...

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The autumn winds are rattlin' the leaves of corn stalks in the fields.
The corn has been harvested and the farmers are calculatin' their yields.
Golden, yellow and crimson leaves are strewn along the country lane.
Autumn!  What a glorious season! 'Tis apple pickin' time again!

Mornin' frosts...

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© 2011 (by Jim Sularz)
(The true story of Frank Eaton – AKA “Pistol Pete”)

At the headwaters of the Red Woods Branch,
near a gentle slope on a dusty trail.
On an iron gate, at the Twin Mounds cemetery,
a bouquet of dry sunflowers flail.

In a grave, still stirs,...

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t started with a single itch
On the end of my nose and made it twitch
Then on one ear and in my hair
I started to itch everywhere
Ooh I scratched and scratched
Until I bled fleas were getting well fed
Ooh those varmints were getting everywhere
i started to do...

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You can't commit suicide by holding your breath
Going to try it now my good friends
If it works it's been great knowing you guys
If  my  poe-m  e-n-d-s  h-e-r-e  t-h-e-n-n-n-n-n . . .

Don't panic people, still alive and kicking
Just joshing and having...

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