Best Vac Poems

Sea level rises... glaciers gradually melt
Global temperature is climbing the cliff.. Beware 
But hey, G H gases don't exist.. Global warming is a myth

Throw everywhere in the streets, plastic and filth
Eat, and just leave disposal plate somewhere, anywhere 
And dump wrappers in oceans and water...

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“What’s going on, what’s next?”
(Medi-Vac on the way, keep pumping!)
A faint roar and whop-whop-whop-whop
(No not there! The south-bound lane! Over...)

The median grass was newly cut but still tall
(Lean over him so the grass won’t get in his face!)
The chopper landed about 30 feet from my...

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1.Oh pitiful 
faintest of 
smiles 
seized by 
the night's 
weapon
2.In his 
fattest 
times he 
enchants 
from his 
dead 
memory 
the songs 
of Babel's 
lexicon
3.Finds for 
himself a 
better 
niche in 
the beach 
where his 
permeable 
mind is 
having it's 
vac
4.Piling 
unconcious 
mental 
ambiguities 
in dreams...

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Across the sea in a far off land,
Hunkered down in a bombed out farmhouse, a soldier makes his final stand.
Seriously wounded, but no fear does he show,
As the enemy approaches, he’s locked and loaded and ready to go.

As darkness nears this may be his only...

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Why is God a Man?

Being a menopausal woman really sucks. At night, it’s like having a wrestler in bed with you 
without the sex. When you flash you wrestle the covers off because you feel like you’re going 
to spontaneously combust. When the flash is...

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Twas accursed destiny
     since birth alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,

     viz zit ting older sibling counterattack
thirteen plus chronological gap
    eldest sister struck like diamondback
surrogate "mother" role

     assumed tubby...

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the sky erupts monsters
sky erupts monsters forming
erupts monsters forming wreaking
monsters forming wreaking havoc
forming wreaking havoc shattering
wreaking havoc shattering serenity
havoc shattering serenity bolts
shattering serenity bolts of
serenity bolts of hell
bolts of hell deluge
of hell deluge descending
hell deluge descending releasing
deluge descending releasing horror
descending releasing horror drowning
releasing horror drowning...

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Out of Cascade
Used dish soap instead
Started the dishwasher
Mass bubbles it bled

I grab the mop
But I'm too late
Shop vac in hand
Heading it off at the gate

Needless to say
I got alot done
In a short amount of time
But I need to be rung...
out!...

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(not that ye wondered, 
but simply tubby like totally tubularly clear
The Epic of Gilgamesh will not be extolled here).

Though thoroughly well mapped, parsed,
     scrutinized vibrant wonders zoom
plethora, sans newly discovered life forms
     cradled with fecund Gaia's womb
abound...

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Vaccine
Jolene do go and get the vaccine
For fear of becoming a has been
It won’t hurt a jot
But reaches the spot
Wear the badge “had my vac” like a Queen.
7th March 2021...

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The dangers of health and safety 
Cannot possibly be overstated
Because yesterday I tripped over 
A pile of paper H&S related 

It's a minefield of regulation
I've bought a tsunami plan 
And six fire extinguishers 
For a one-man-business band 

The ludicrous requirements 
Are completely over the top......

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It's you again? I am surprised
To see you back so soon.
You said you had so much to do
And it is barely noon.
"Pies don't bake themselves," I've heard you say,
"And brooms don't groom a room.
Without a human hand to guide,
No duties they'll assume."

I sit patiently year...

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There is something amiss with that VACUUM CLEANER.
As if it didn't know, from floor to cup, the debris and dust must go.
It's ailing from something peculiar, but I don't know exactly what.             ...

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Mine gerund farming, tilling, and harvesting illogical weltanschauung

Twas accursed destiny
since birth (maybe coded in
deoxyribonucleic acid  
since time immemorial) alas and alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,
one common Joe biden his time
for no particular
rhyme nor reason
revisiting mine days of yore, 
when protectiveness courtesy 
older...

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There's a spider on my ceiling
He's been sitting there all night
From the moment that I spotted him
He gave me quite a fright.

Even at the long off distance 
He appears to be quite big
I've never really liked them
ever since I was a kid.

When I have to...

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