Best Tidbits Poems

Cinqo De Mayo...When a Brooklyn thug target shoots at a floating jar of Hellman's.

Dutch- Where do they come from?  I've looked at atlases dozens of times, and 
can't find a country called Dutch, or Dutchland.

Dusty Springfield- why doesn't someone get her a dust-buster, or...

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I went to buy an R.V.
They said all I could afford was a Lose-a Beggo.

I bought a pair of alligator shoes.
But then I started wandering off into swamps.
Finally, I had to toss them, they were
really biting my feet.
I got arrested for tossing
an endangered species.

I got...

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12)Coddle- Two fish enrapt in love.

13)Mustard- A diarrhea victim who can wait no longer.

14)Jam Session- A gathering of sweet-toothed weirdos with various jams and 
jellies.

15)Coffee Table- An occasional table made of stale and hard coffee beans.

16)Condom- A very stupid prisoner.

17)Confederate- An inmate who nourishes his...

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I studied cosmology for 4 years before I realized there was no mention of make-
up or hair styling.

I saw the movir "Superfly", and didn't understand why they never even showed a 
zipper!

I wanted Lasix surgery- but, due to being stupid, I wound up with Latex...

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"Anything i can do, you could do better!" 
I'm different.  I like my sushi well done.
"Sure you're right!...Who cares?"
I'm as wise as a potato chip.
Is it illegal to leave a night-light on in the day?
"If music be the food of love...I'm tone deaf."
So what?...

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#Snippets,Tidbits, and Pieces minus Peace...

Flecks and Specks sprawled evenly and eventually...leaving no room for possibilities and puzzle pieces scattered haphazardly; no room for building inevitably, it's a choice, depending on a conclusive voice and it would be made known a Full understanding, of shards of...

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I used to be bisexual....but then I ran out of money and couldn't buy it anymore.
I just bought a 12 pack of cold pills- they should last forever!!  I can't open the 
da_m things!!
When all else fails, you're up sh_t's creek!
I "souped up" my...

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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy.  But he was wearing a skirt.

I bought a roll of Saran Wrap, then realized I didn't have a Saran to wrap.

My dentist told me to see a gynecologist.

Ever see the commercial about "Bob" who took a male...

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I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner....cause then I'd be in somebody's buns.

"I shall return!" I said to my last wife, last time I saw her in 1989.  McArthur I isn't!

Why are women so much smarter than men?  Probably cause they have...

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My psychologist said I'm bipolar.  I told him I wouldn't have sex with either a male 
or a female polar bear.

Bipolar?  You gotta be kidding- I've never been to the north or the south pole!

Bipolar?  Why in the world would I buy...

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I sent back the Bowflex I ordered back when it failed to come with the arrows.
Ever see "Smiling Bob " with the male "enhancement" adv?  What woman would 
make love to a cadavorous plastic smiling face like that?
I bought a giant "Universal Remote", cause...

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A few more words/ phrases I can do without;

"24/7"- I just can't seem to divide 24 by 7.
"But wait!!!... If you act right now....."- "Just how brain atrophied are you?
"We'll double your offer....."  (more to come on this)- Mays can always amaze...  
that...

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When I think of dessert, you come to my mind
How delicate__ flaky crust__ crumbles with a touch
Then on the inside those apples slightly tart spring
Forth bursting out of the crust that held them there

Ummmm...those fried apples pies of yore
When mother fried them in no less...

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Love it Andrea Crazy eight may win the day.
I think we tap into common source. 
the great unconcious, unwashed horse, 
who blurts about with no recourse, 
provides the words to tickles force! :) xox Don
as Johnson says, I say!

Robert  Haig, yes ,
you have the...

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1)I've visited Pool Halls at least 100 times, and I ain't yet found a pool there.  I got 
so disgusted, I stopped carrying my bathingsuit around.

2)My girlfriend sent me an Afghan, but I don't speak his language.  Her note said 
he was supposed...

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