Tidbits of Madness Part 3
I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner....cause then I'd be in somebody's buns.
"I shall return!" I said to my last wife, last time I saw her in 1989. McArthur I isn't!
Why are women so much smarter than men? Probably cause they have brains.
I never realized just how stupid I was until I went to the eye doctor's. See "A bad
day at the eye doctor's" poem.
My eye doctor seemed to catch on real quick as to how stupid I was.
I hate to say it, but I think Rodney Dangerfield would make a better president.
Excuse me, but what year is this?
Did you ever wake up and realize the best part of your day was over?
I have a picture of me, when younger, flying in the air,in my karate days, kicking
butt. Now I need help just to pick up the picture.
How did I earn the nickname "Skuzz-Bucket"- I don't even own a bucket!
I guess the best thing about getting old is you got less time to suffer.
Wives- I need a chain letter. Alimony? Can't squeeze an orange that's already
orange juice. Excuse while I take the pits out of my hair.
And to my fans, I say thanks- wish I could afford an air conditioner though.
My "friends" gave me a room aerosol air freshener. Seems the main ingredient
was Zyklon-B.
With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Have a" happy"! What a crock!
My doctor said he'd pay me not to come anymore.
He wanted me to join the "Euthanasia Club"
I didn't pass the test, however- they said I was brain dead too long.
Even the Girl Scouts mock me- they ask me for cookies!
I once had a girlfriend named "Cookie" She was cute, but her butt was chaffed
from bed-hopping.
Ever try to nail a girl while she's hopping on the bed?
Well goodbye my friends- see ya'll real soon...(Genuine White Trailer Trash
Lingo)!!
Copyright © Tom Bell | Year Posted 2007
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