Tom Bell Poet Burlesque

Tiny Tidbits of Nonsense Part 2

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy.  But he was wearing a skirt.

I bought a roll of Saran Wrap, then realized I didn't have a Saran to wrap.

My dentist told me to see a gynecologist.

Ever see the commercial about "Bob" who took a male enhancement product?  
You tell me what woman would have sex with a guy with such a sickening grin.

Or the infamous "Billy Mays" commercials?  When asked by my psychiatrist if I 
had homicial urges, I said, yes- just two.  Osama Bin Laden and Billy Mays.

I was born in a trauma ward.

People complain about airplane food- they ought'a eat here.

I've been married so many times, I don't remember my maiden name.

Another bizarre commercial; the male enhancement product- to "make that 
certain part of the male body larger.  I took it, you gotta see my nose now!

And the commercial that warns men to seek emergency medical help if you have 
an ******** lasting more than four hours...You gotta' be kiddin'- I'd be the most 
popular man in this trailer park.

4 hours?  That'd take me all the way back to 1971.

When the going gets tough, go on vacation.

If idleness is the devil's work, darn, I'm a new devil worshiper.

If I gave you just one smile, you're deranged!

Catch ya next time!  

Tom

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