Best Tetanus Poems
The Jab
I am somewhat disenchanted by what I’ve seen and read
Antivaxxers believe the lie that soon the vaccinated will be dead
That our leaders are out to get us, dictating what we need
and will decrease the population by deciding how we breed
I’ve heard more twisted theories in my time upon this rock
made so much worse with rumors on you tube and tic tok
I pray that common sense will soon take hold of every friend
Covid 19 is NOT just another virus. Don’t let it be your end
Remember mumps, measles, tetanus and whooping cough
They were cured by science, not a de wormer in a trough
Think of polio, rubella, diphtheria, hepatitis B and A
Thanks to vaccinations, these diseases were kept at bay
This world is full of deadly germs, we make perfect hosts
Please listen to the doctors instead of any ill-informed posts
Life is short, so show respect for the time you’ve got
Think of others, not just yourself. Now go and get your shot!
Categories:
tetanus, health,
Form:
Rhyme
I feel I have appendicitis,
Or a bad case of bursitis,
And I think I need another tonsillectomy.
I'm sure I got a staph infection
From a tetanus injection
While I was prepping for a hemorrhoidectomy.
I've got cataracts and shingles,
When I cough my kidney jingles,
And my muscle tone's diminished due to entropy.
I have a lower disc displacement,
I need a knee and hip replacement,
And I'm scheduled for my umpteenth colonoscopy.
With my doctor's full compliance,
I will donate my corpse to science
To see if reasons can be found for all my maladies.
No doubt that when they disconnect me,
Vivisect me and inspect me,
They'll find a host of medical irregularities,
As well as hitherto unheard of abnormalities
That may account for part or all of my infirmities,
And might help to explain my PCP's enormous fees.
Author's note: After reading Ilene Bauer's delightfully insightful "A Certain Age", once again I delved into my archives and disinterred this bit of nonsense from 2017. I apologize, dear readers, if any of you who might be suffering from medical conditions find it insensitive. It is certainly not intended to be so. Although I don't think it's been scientifically tested or doctor recommended, I firmly believe in the homeopathically therapeutic value of humor and laughter. And I know that after writing this piece, I felt better about my own health issues.
Categories:
tetanus, health, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
"Bread and Butter"
Fickle pickles soaked in barrels of brine,
Along with drowned rats in vinegar’s wine,
Public non the wiser,
I am your advisor,
Take Tetanus when on pickles you dine!
Pickle plants in Arkansas where cucumbers are processes soak them in barrels of salt
brine a week or so before they are then processes in jars of vinegar. The soaking
process receives many visitor rats, and they fall into the barrels and drowned. The
dead and sometime decaying rats are simply dipped out and the process continues.
“Enjoy your BREAD AND BUTTERS!”
Categories:
tetanus, funny
Form:
Limerick
The following immunizations
Recommended for kids
10 to 12 years old
Help protect from dangerous diseases
Parents check
Immunization records
If missing
These important shots
Tdap (tetanus diphtheria, pertussis)
Protects against 3 dangerous diseases
Required before 7th grade
Kids need 1 shot between ages 10-12 years
HPV (Human papilloma virus)
Requires 3 shots for full protection
First shot required between ages 9 or 12
A booster at age 16
Menningoccal
Protects against infections
Can cause brain and kidney damage
Preteens need 1 shot at age 11 or 12
Flu
Much serious than the common cold
Everyone needs to get the flu vaccine every year
Even young healthy kids
Chickenpox
More than just an itchy rash
Can cause Pneumonia or serious infections
Kids needs 2 shots
Talk to your doctor
About getting these vaccines
Be healthy
Protect yourself against these serious diseases
4132013
Categories:
tetanus, child, dad, family, children,
Form:
List
Did you hear the 80 year old fool
Thought that taking viagra was cool,
His wife in a flutter
Got shot from her Doctor,
'Cause he's using a rusty old tool..
Categories:
tetanus, funny, old, old,
Form:
Limerick
Dark moon day of August
I stepping on a nail
hospital tetanus shot
I draw Kenaz from my Rune bag
Sitting out at night
First time crickets sing
Starry sky's Milky Way
Two shooting stars see me
My black cat runs by
Dog howls down the road
Forest spirits are afoot
Really too much magic
Categories:
tetanus, august, cat, magic, moon,
Form:
Prose Poetry
Born dead put in a bucket,
Bellowed and got himself saw,
Tetanus at 10, bloody bad luck
Pus filled veins had for sure,
Doctor’s would take his leg off.
father said “no good , no more,
one legged horseman, is useless,
might as well be dead for sure,”
snatched from the Mungindi hospital,
went to a herbalist, Chinese lady’s door,
she medicated, doctored the cripple,
back on two legs now for sure.
Doctor’s teeth gnashed,they knew it all,
Said "he will die of Tetanus poor boy,"
Alternative medicine was on the ball,
They had to eat their words, some call,
The bitterest taste of the gall.
Nancy Jones
Contest Name A Toothful Ode
Categories:
tetanus, adventure,
Form:
Ode
Sweet morning sunshine --
Damn you how I
despise this labor
that lies ahead.
The cousin of Grizzly Adams’
patiently waits with the
ancient white pickup truck
he ran me over with while I slept.
Off we go with the toolbox
dancing in the bed and it’s a band
of pots and pans, the opening act for
our weapons of mass construction.
Murph says he’s a team player,
although I don’t recall a sport
consisted of getting wasted
and having shameful sex.
He grumbles and curses about
the day ahead hung-over with
his perfume from the distillery and
gum he must’ve marinated in an ashtray.
We better do some stretching
before the circus begins—
watch me as I carry an elephant
up the twenty year old ladder.
From two stories above I witness
the war forming between
old rusty nails and the tiny,
soft green blades that stand no match.
The ground has become a grave
of tetanus but the old umbrellas
we toss down from the house
cover up the battlefield.
(To Be Continued)...
Categories:
tetanus, work,
Form:
Free verse
How Unkempt and awful I look when
I forget to shave for weeks
Often have I to put off shaving for months
Once I went unshaved for a year
Either under stress,
or workplace pressure
as a result,
female colleagues
Avoid talking with me
and male
Co-workers advise me to wear a mask
my wife at home
declines a kiss.
Despite these grave repurcussions
I really never like to shave
For weeds on my face
Refuse to surrender to substandard blades
(And good blades are exorbitant and unaffordable)
I fear tetanus every time I cut my skin
For me to decide to shave is as difficult
a decision as deciding by US on carrying air raids on
Iran
Categories:
tetanus, adventure, funny, inspirational, me,
Form:
Free verse
There’s a forest bizarre neither nearby nor far,
full of sights somewhat scary to spook a soul wary.
The deep, darkened jungle, I think you’ll agree
is never a safe place for you or for me...
The vicious antihistamines attack unwary gabardines,
while hungry, snarling mezzanines will slither on the ground.
Meanwhile, some frenzied proselytes are hiding from the troglodytes,
who, angry from the zwieback bites, are swarming all around!
Inside this jungle, quarantines are known to suck on guillotines
until stampeding nazarenes charge in and scare them both.
The tetanus fights the diocese, as scallions snack on c’est la vies;
they all avoid isosceles, who hide in undergrowth.
The snarling tracheotomies stalk the nonsequitur
and scare defenseless equities that fly from Equador,
while swarms of green parentheses infest the feeble pinafore
for blood.
The buzzing twits and hypocrites gnaw on palaver bones
while fat, lethargic amulets are chased by chromosomes.
The sleepy, sluggish genuflects had best avoid the palindromes
in mud.
You may never have heard of a place so absurd,
you may opt to believe it a myth.
But if ever you visit and wonder, “what is it?”
just ask a nearby monolith.
Categories:
tetanus, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
She's just a mall goth skank in Courtney Love's flesh. Digital jail bait. Open wound scissor sisters. The cure is deep inside. Divinity embedded within skeletal matter, salvation within my hands. Lobo Cristo devoured his flock. Carved em' up like the bread of God. Disfigured Christians dancing and twitching to their own rhythms and convulsions. When the time is ripe, I'll cut some moonlight into your belly and spill you deep into the soil, Cuz my blade is thirsty and clean. I'm prone to get ugly, grimmy, and mean. Rabid Believers and their closed casket ceremonies. Remember, nothing you do matters in the end. Everyone will be forgotten at some point. Wasting your last breath on a Virgin whore, as you aspirate upon your own gore. Holy Ghost Sedo-masicist on the TV screen. Just contaminants within the cultural confines of American decline. If you're not apart of the herd, you'll be apart of the hill. It's all neurological at this point. You wouldn't hate me so much if you'd pull your own weight. Bloated belly and tetanus, You're just a panhandler outside of Heaven's Gate. Lucifer's warm amber light, like electric sugar. Warming my bones to the core,... Cascading comfort and enlightenment within tranquil notes. Down the hall, screams of a woman. By her own lacerations. Visceral.
Categories:
tetanus, abortion, abuse, animal, art,
Form:
ABC
Lost and alone so far away,
Down and out with nothing to say.
Wondering if this will always be,
Wandering far from this, very me.
Gazing ahead, stillness as dead,
Wanting to just, be set free.
Faint and unsteady, shifting sand,
Reaching out, to Heaven with hand...
Yet, so alone...
Hoping to gain satisfaction from rain,
and finding nothing more than wetness.
Seeking past memories with weakening grasp,
Maybe I'd rather endure tetanus.
Having teeth pulled or re-socket a bone,
Scraping a chalkboard or being alone...
Loneliness is inside of one's heart,
In time, no healing, just tearing apart...
And... so alone...
Categories:
tetanus, depression, how i feel,
Form:
Rhyme
It’s cause of truth
You amended it, so I ended it
It’s stinging my eyes
Seeing you make these crimes in my heart, my brain
I’m done with the pain
It got too insane
I’m done with the strain
Of watching you move to the fast lane
And just hoping I’ll catch up
And I don’t
So you can floor it now
I’m going out on my own bough
On my own tree
Swear honestly
That you’ll get out of my life
And stop slicing my heart with a knife
Knives that are sharp, hard, cold
Just like you and it’s getting old
You’re starting to rust
Which makes it hurt like I got run over by a bus
If I stay around I’ll get tetanus
So why don’t you just
Kiss this face goodbye.
Categories:
tetanus, love
Form:
demon allure coaxing me near
to a place inhabited
roadside flare
with ample provisions
action follows suit
distress, undressed with motive too
rustic claw piercing
tetanus thighs
sullied my hands and bolstered a lie
absolved of blame
i return unchanged
Categories:
tetanus, angst
Form:
Free verse
I was born to be the dark horse...the underdog.
But, I'm nowhere near endearing enough for people to root for me.
Some look at me pitifully like I'm a blind puppy, others see me as a disease, and still others try to trip me to see my face covered in mud.
Judas and I share the same blood, and the same unfortunate taste in friends, those with a messiah complex.
The kind that abuse loyalty as an asset, an entitlement, a death sentence.
Inside my chest, at the heart of it all, is a screwed up little house and in that house my heart hangs like an old chandelier swaying and tinkling in the anemic light of old dusty curtains.
My love is a pair of tennis shoes thrown over a power line, their shadows forms a heart on the dirty asphalt, in front of the house with all of the ghosts,
with the dead yard and the corpses of ill-fated kick balls and soccer balls impaled on over grown rose bushes.
My body is that tired house.
Sagging windows, crooked doors, the beams shudder like the people that cross the street to avoid me.
All the crucifixes hang sideways above the doorways, nails piercing the drywall like a tetanus filled stigmata.
Locked in, I watch from behind a filthy window, I'm nothing but a shadow, a wraith, no evil, just waiting.
I'm a story to make children behave at the grocery store.
I'm the face of decay, forgotten and wishing for a second change, bold enough to hope for a FAIR chance,
misunderstood because I wear my ghosts like wallpaper.
It's tempting to hide them, but the walls will still moan with their weight.
History can be buried, but never erased,
It can be changed by the winners, but the truth lives on the tongues of sinners.
When we fear them, we pretend not to hear them.
Many seek peace at the expense of truth and history.
We are the victims of fairytales.
The witches cottage
The queen with the poison apple
The hunstman with his axe..whose heart is in the box?
The all live within my walls, even darkness needs a home.
Because light needs are worthy adversary.
For good to exist, it must stand on adversities vanquished shoulders.
There is no dawn without first a howling moon.
I am the moon.
I am a screwed up little house.
Categories:
tetanus, mental illness,
Form:
Bio