Best Stinks Poems
The dwelling place is in lofty mountain peak,
hidden from protruding human eyes that seek.
A lonely figure the Yowie cuts,
All contact from the outside world he shuts.
I saw him once, this hairy fellow,
a face so sad and eyes of yellow.
He stood on a ledge in sunshine's glare,
I dare not move, I could only stare.
His seven foot frame, large outstretched arms,
My fear set in I recited the psalms.
The agile beast toward me started,
My belly boiled and then..... I farted.
He got so near my eyes did close,
I peaked and saw that he covered his nose.
The fart I did, boy did it stink.
It caused the yowie's eyes to blink.
For just a moment I thought I had him cold,
but he recovered quickly and became quite bold.
With a sweeping motion he did pick me up.
and around his frame put my face at his butt.
I was upside down and in an awkward spot,
then he let one rip, gave it all he got.
On the richter scale, I'd rate it at ten,
It was the fart of about a thousand men.
So if you're out in the mountains for a quiet stroll,
beware of Yowie, big foot or some other troll.
If they encounter you, turn and their butt cheeks part,
they will surely unleash the most abominable fart.
Categories:
stinks, adventure, animal, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
This poem stinks.
It doesn't rhyme
It doesn't do anything
It has a little alliteration
well...
it will have some
because that's the easiest poetic element to incorporate
and if it didn't have any poetic elements
it would not be a poem
but would be prose with
randomly
inserted
carriage returns...
(are carriage returns extinct?)
and that would be dishonest.
This is not a lying poem.
That would be oxymoronic.
It's a stinky poem.
And when I finish writing it
I'm gonna print it out
and tear it up
into little bitty
teensy weensy pieces
(if I have enough patience to get that small)
and flush it down the commode
so it can join all the other
excrementally effluential essences
(note the alliteration)
of all the other stuff that stinks
almost as badly as
this poem.
Categories:
stinks, art, funny, on writing
Form:
Free verse
A fish flew out of the water.
Nobody knew why until he spoke,
he carried a warning for Mankind.
The fish looked human.
I need to talk to the CEO's, he said.
They came, the fish spoke.
If you don’t stop making and throwing plastics,
trash and garbage in the oceans, seas, and rivers,
your planet will die.
Captains of Industry be wary you who create the products that pollute
Do you think you’re safe?
Take note that when you see the small of life disappear
life in the oceans and seas will vanish,
the demise of rivers replete with pestilence will dry up
the human race will then take its turn at being extinct
You have made billions at the expense of life on earth,
receiving a billion dollars for every life you sacrificed
billions you were sure were safely tucked away in hide-a-way banks
But now, your life and family are destroyed by a war you financed
doesn't give you much consolation does it, Mr. Businessman?
Your insatiable greed finally won out.
No living creature is left, cities and forests have been decimated
no place left to spend your well planned looting;
you could have saved many lives
Except you didn’t care
your endless greedy pursuit to increase profits
condemned the world to the black hole of extinction
You financed the annihilation of all living creatures
As you were killing the world, you also set in motion
the removal of Man’s historical struggle from the story of the Universe
Making Man a thing that never was and never existed
In this impending historical vacuum, Man became collateral damage
the term you notoriously used to justify your murderous behavior.
Even now, engulfed in the fires of Hell,
you seek absolution through deals, but your reasoning is false
Lucifer welcomes your ilk, he's proud of you but he makes no deals
With souls he already has in his bag.
Categories:
stinks, care, loss, pollution,
Form:
Free verse
Love stinks
Hell yeah
Worse than fire and brimstone.
Love stinks
Hell yeah
Worse than cleaning nails with acetone.
Love stinks
Hell yeah
Stinky love follows me
And that stinky stuff won't leave me
The hell alone!
3-23-11
Categories:
stinks, lovelove,
Form:
Rhyme
When Janice ate fish on the quay,
Next morning her pee smelled fishy,
She said Oh MY God
My pee smells of cod
Fish odour I did not foresee!
05/23/21
Categories:
stinks, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
No perfect verse
can be written before sleep;
it's better to procrastinate
than to write when your breath stinks!
No, I am not referring
to unbrushed teeth
and unrinsed mouth,
but lots of gulping drinks!
Even your pen swerves as a wheel of a car;
doesn't influence effects your ability
to put thoughts together!
Food for thought
is not wine, beer or champagne;
they will not stimulate your intellect
when you are unable to think!
Rather they will decrease brain performance,
blocking your thinking process...
like an invalid password not giving you access!
Ever sent one to an editor...
and it was rejected for grammar,
wrong form and misspelling?
He must have smelled alcohol from far!
There was a poet writing
lengthy verses lacking imagination,
they couldn't hold the reader's attention:
when they could have been brief
and to the point without sacrificing artistry!
He always had a bottle of rum
or vodka next to him to keep him company!
Wouldn't you say that...
he was as drunk as his pen?
Writing when your breath stinks,
slows you down and makes you unresponsive
to your surroundings...
failing to notice important things!
There are lots of foolish mouths
spitting out words
with the allude they will be
performed on stage!
Wouldn't the audience be upset,
or show intense rage?
Categories:
stinks, funny, health, on writing
Form:
Free verse
This poem stinks.
It doesn't rhyme
It doesn't do anything
It has a little alliteration
well...
it will have some
because that's the easiest poetic element to incorporate
and if it didn't have any poetic elements
it would not be a poem
but would be prose with
randomly
inserted
carriage returns...
(are carriage returns extinct?)
and that would be dishonest.
This is not a lying poem.
That would be oxymoronic.
It's a stinky poem.
And when I finish writing it
I'm gonna print it out
and tear it up
into little bitty
teensy weensy pieces
(if I have enough patience to get that small)
and flush it down the commode
so it can join all the other
excrementally effluential essences
(note the alliteration)
of all the other stuff that stinks
almost as badly as
this poem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
was just diggin' through the archives and this one made me giggle and reminded me that I've places to go and people to see and mustn't procrastinate longer because the LAST MINUTE approacheth
Categories:
stinks, on writing and words,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
oh, chemistry
why are you so cruel.
why are you so difficult.
I'm trying so hard here.
I gave up on one dream,
please don't crush my last remaining hope
for happiness.
Categories:
stinks, life
Form:
Free verse
When the home team has a five to two lead,
a dependable bullpen is what they need.
In the ninth inning, they want three outs more.
A relief pitcher has to shut the door.
Losing the lead for the team is crappy.
The hometown crowd will leave unhappy.
Such an incident happened the other night.
The events that transpired were a bizarre fright.
The “closer” was expected to deliver from harm.
However, he incurred spasms with his arm.
Unavailable, other pitchers took the mound.
Not one competent pitcher could be found.
The bases became loaded before we knew it.
All the runners scored, and the home team blew it.
The fans were sitting there dumbfounded and staid.
Six runs crossed home plate before the final out was made.
Therefore, the home team lost, and that was history.
Unfortunately this season, it has happened too frequently.
Categories:
stinks, loss, sad, sports, home,
Form:
Rhyme
I boldly go where no-one has gone before
I will suffice
I will damage
I will element
I will dangerous
I will suffice
I will damage
Good Luck!
Categories:
stinks, caregiving,
Form:
Bio
If love stinks so bad then why am I so happy why do I dream and look at the
stars? Why do I laugh and smile at you? Why is it when you look in my eyes my
love for you is so so great. You see my love for you is oh so strong when you are
here nothing could possibly go wrong. We stand together hand in hand then I
close my eyes and start to cry because your not real, and I feel I should die, you
see without you I’m completely a mess. I loved you so much but you were not
true, for this was a dream that I once spent with you, now that your I’m ever so
sad but how come when you’re here I’m ever so glad now I can see why love
stinks so bad.
Categories:
stinks, lost love, dream, dream,
Form:
Free verse
This poem’s stupid
This poem stinks
Stinks as in shoes
Stinks like you
You are worthless
You are wrong
Wrong is right
Wrong defines bad
Bad people are shoved off
Bad things happen to the best
Best moments do not last
Best memories are taking
Taking stilly in a photo
Taking problems that mean nothing
Nothing stands up for doubt
Nothing is what lies at heart
Heart beats to give me breath
Heart whispers what I regret
Regret is when we turn old
Regret is a feeling we seem to hold
Hold dear your closest friend
Hold on to the loved ones who hurt
Hurt one another with lies of love
Hurt your Father who rests high above
Above is where death resides
Above me, my grandparents lie
Lie that pulled your love closed
Lie down to accept the end
End with a reset mind
End this poem that’s a waste of time
Time that keeps on ticking
Time no one has on their hands
Hands that can’t stop moving
Hands to offer a sense of humanity
Humanity can’t think clearly
Humanity is blind
Blind ones are known to see the most
Blind eyes are the brightest pupil
Pupil rests at the center of the eye
Pupil learns how to create a work of art
Art flourishes over all states
Art creates your very own world
World is where the people live
World hunger is what we strive to return
Stars cover up the night
Stars are what give life meaning
Meaning...
Night...
Categories:
stinks, how i feel, life,
Form:
This poem stinks
Write, scratch, think, scream
Just blink, thoughts gone
Contest: Any theme Than-Bauk Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Charles Messina
Written: 01-31-2019
Categories:
stinks, funny, writing,
Form:
Than-Bauk
odor took its toll
yellow foam twist down the hole
…spinning in the bowl
By Robb A. Kopp
All Rights Reserved © MMX
Categories:
stinks, allegory, life
Form:
Senryu
Everything stinks, nothing smells, as smell is the province of the nose and stink the invader of such provincial boundaries.
Categories:
stinks, word play, words,
Form:
Monoku