Best Sniffed Poems
It's impossible to hum with your nose plugged
Don't try it you'll give yourself a hernia
About two hundred babies are born every minute
Guess there's not much doing in suburbia
Dust under your bed is your own dead skin
Unbelievable but that's what they say
There are more nerve cells in the human brain
Than there's stars in the Milky Way
The water you drink has already been drunk
By others, what a charming thought
Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes
That's not something I think of a lot
A million dollars in one hundred dollar bills
Weighs only about twenty-two pounds
A disposable diaper holds seven pounds of pee
That's too much information I've found
97% of money contains a trace of cocaine
Have you sniffed your dollar bills of late
The glue on Israeli stamps is certified kosher
This leaves me in an overwrought state
10 million bricks are in the Empire State Building
Masons surely had a heavy load
That's it for now but there'll be more to come
Keep an eye out for them down the road
© Jack Ellison 2013
The shore breeze rose familiar tang of the sea
Blue touring car , top down , rolling past palms
Brilliant white suit and panama hat . Car toots!
Enjoying company sharing fine wine and pasta
Radiating high energy and a warm personality
She felt the warmth of his breath he whispered
It doesnt matter . I love you. Youre beautiful.
She smiled her forehead covered with kisses
She finally let herself relax loosened her scarf
Harps, lutes , ivory horns, kettle drums , guitars
Hung high from the ceiling and oak panel walls
He sniffed the wolves
~found them wanting
Wolves sniffed of him
~found him daunting
The shepherd fears
not beast of prey
With shiverin' lambs
he greets each day
Upon the hills
and braky glen~
shepherd watches
o'er his friends
And when the night
calls lambs to sleep
the shepherd sings
while grey wolves weep.
r ~ 25Mar14
So I write about farting and pooh
But fart sniffing may prove good for you
Foul hydrogen sulphide
has been found to provide
benefits helping cells stay like new
Inspired by an item in a magazine which lead me to find a link and I had a blast writing the poem!
https://nypost.com/2017/10/27/sniffing-your-partners-farts-could-help-ward-off-disease
7/12/19
unaware
there's a
bear out
side my
tent for
i forgot
and kept
my tooth
paste
with
me
instead
of hang
ing it in
a tree a
bove me
with my
other
things
while in
my sleep
ing bag i'm
simply
meat
nicely
tucked
in begin
ning to
feel like
a mint
soft
shell
ed taco
The farmer looked on sown fields with dismay,
Be-spotted with tiny holes in despoiled array.
Each spot where mice had dug up and eaten.
Wheat seeds sown with mice-controls well beaten.
The farmer had tried to poison the mice.
Tried birds of prey once or twice.
Tried cats and smelly scent deterrents,
All to no avail to beat the endless recurrence.
One night the farmer awoke from fitful sleep.
Ah Hah! I have an idea cheap, neat and deep.
What if I make the entire field smell of wheat,
By spraying the field all over with wheat-oil neat?
Sure enough, the over spray with oil worked a treat.
The mice dug a myriad of holes with tiny feet,
Where their smell, said wheat should be,
Only to find all their holes empty, no seed to see.
Frustrated, exhausted they paused their paws.
Cursed their noses, tricked by the scent-only cause.
A wheat field, over-sown with superfluousness,
Made their search, dig to eat meaningless.
It's impossible to hum with your nose blocked
Don't try it you'll give yourself a hernia
About two hundred babies are born every minute
Guess there's not much doing in suburbia
Dust under your bed is your own dead skin
Unbelievable but that's what they say
There are more nerve cells in the human brain
Than there's stars in the Milky Way
The water you drink has already been drunk
By others, what a charming thought
Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes
That's not something I think of a lot
A million dollars in one hundred dollar bills
Weighs only about twenty-two pounds
A disposable diaper holds seven pounds of pee
That's too much information I've found
97% of money contains a trace of cocaine
Have you sniffed your dollar bills of late
The glue on Israeli stamps is certified kosher
This leaves me in an overwrought state
10 million bricks are in the Empire State Building
Masons surely had a heavy load
That's it for now but there'll be more to follow
Keep an eye out for them down the road