Best Slug Poems

Your pace of life is just sublime
When blessed with seasons, wet and warm
With foliage and fungi, you mark your time
A gastropod; a handsome form
As your journey is marked with a trail of slime
I wish you well, as you perform

O slink away from the hearty hedgehog
Spread...

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I want to take over the world, cause misery and dying 
        I want to create a master race, kill all low living swine
             I want...

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Hey Tom Cunningham, you could help bring Putin down,
Plastic surgery has made him into a legendary clown,
Ridicule him whilst highlighting his inhumanity,
Mock him but telling of his insanity,
Advise him his plastic surgeon should give him a frown...

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Today I squashed a slug.

He was not a bug.

He did not bite, tickle, buzz or otherwise molest me.

At best, he was the occasional plant nibbler who feasts on my weeds.

He was making his epic journey across my stoop in his dilated time.

I really feel he...

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There's a little known sport
That is played in the South
If you ain't from round here
You may know nothing about

It is played by the old
Enjoyed by the young
Quite the crowd pleaser
This salting of slug

So grab the favorite of minerals
And your crystal shakers
Try not to view this
As...

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(Occasional Rhyme)

Splat.Take that, plaguey pest;
you, your brother, and all the rest.
Were you given license from heaven
to hurl yellow-bellied goop
onto my sparkling shield?
It's there to separate wind,
not catapult you to glory.

But lack-a-daisy husband
threw out this quibble,
"You're riding in a Buick,
not a sidecar on a cycle.
Count your...

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                                            ...

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Seems soup mail aint working...
Tracy sent me a Verse about reading Slug trails on the walk,
but Grannie fed em table salt to stop their talk,
no bloody predicting allowed,
snail trails under a Turkey shroud, 
they'll just have to squeak and squawk,
in the creamy cloud,
says Mork from...

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Yellow fire hazards blemish the lawn,
prickly to bare summer feet.
Locusts overtake the heat.
Aphids feast and continue to spawn,
yet still remain strawberries to eat.

7-8-2021...

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The next bullet
might have your name on it
Think about it,
cause the slug won’t
The next thug
might be coming thru the telly
Oh, yeah ... 
‘copter mouth flying under the radar,
with gunnery claws out
Ready to flat blast devour fat wallet pigeons 
who love their paper purse belly
Mesozoic slugs...

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Phillipa the Slug
Was tired of being so slow
So she hitched a ride to somewhere
A destination I don't know

Her ride was kind of interesting
As believe it or not you see
The transport she had chosen
Was even slower than She

She'd mistook him for a Spider
As they can be...

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Fact is. We're stranded here.
With an ever ungrateful-Godless population.
Resources are far beyond strained.
The selfish leadership perched upon nuclear oriented brains...
We're in a race to see if we can outrun the dark side of ourselves. 
Into the safety mirage of our stained glass spaces.

We move like...

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An orange Tesla that was bought by Scott
Ran out of go juice right there on the spot
Then was quickly passed
By a Pacer, gassed
And AMC car shaped like a kumquat...

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Hidden between the valleys
of his mundane life
oozed a seeping river
a wearisome wandering
unfocused vision
of tedium,
an incongruous rift
lazing amid the taciturn hum
spinning at turtle speed
tempting the idle grass
to ripple.
He ached to feel
the earth move
beneath his slimy girth,
to know the rush of speed,
the awe of going - too...

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I shut down and die each night.
I do not want to entertain anyone.
I do not want to hear my name.
I do not want to fix supper.

I shut down and die each night.
Spending my evening in my zippered zebra pajamas
And fluffy socks that do not have...

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