Best Slug Poems
Your pace of life is just sublime
When blessed with seasons, wet and warm
With foliage and fungi, you mark your time
A gastropod; a handsome form
As your journey is marked with a trail of slime
I wish you well, as you perform
O slink away from the hearty hedgehog
Spread word of your foes with silent talks
Avoid beer traps, salt piles, the brazen frog
And gardeners with their rakes and forks
I know every journey's a slow footslog
So, use well those tentacles and fine eye stalks
Categories:
slug, nature,
Form:
Rhyme
I want to take over the world, cause misery and dying
I want to create a master race, kill all low living swine
I want a god who answers to me, be exclusively mine
Mostly I want what I never had, that would be a spine
By
David Kavanagh
Categories:
slug, allusion, evil, jealousy,
Form:
Quatrain
I shut down and die each night.
I do not want to entertain anyone.
I do not want to hear my name.
I do not want to fix supper.
I shut down and die each night.
Spending my evening in my zippered zebra pajamas
And fluffy socks that do not have to match.
I pick up the remote and two I-pads and I sit in a stupor
Dead as the wall, the floor, the carpet, anything in the room.
I die the second I jump into my pajamas.
My phone goes off, and I am incognito, inaccessible, and dead.
My husband annoys me sometimes.
"Someone is calling you."
He used to answer my phone.
He has learned.
This is a dumb thing to do.
I will not be coaxed, coerced, or guilt-ed into anything I do
Not want to do.
I am dead, in my Lazy-Girl chair, clicking aimlessly through TV
shows I am not watching. I am dead to you, and me, and him
and everyone else. I die every night. It is how I can face the next day at work.
Categories:
slug, how i feel,
Form:
Free verse
Hey Tom Cunningham, you could help bring Putin down,
Plastic surgery has made him into a legendary clown,
Ridicule him whilst highlighting his inhumanity,
Mock him but telling of his insanity,
Advise him his plastic surgeon should give him a frown
Categories:
slug, humanity,
Form:
Limerick
Today I squashed a slug.
He was not a bug.
He did not bite, tickle, buzz or otherwise molest me.
At best, he was the occasional plant nibbler who feasts on my weeds.
He was making his epic journey across my stoop in his dilated time.
I really feel he would of made it, but I may have drank too much wine.
An oyster without a shell, a mollusk with no sea, he had no rock to climb under, so instead was killed by me.
On this fading day I vow, no matter what, nor where, nor when, nor how.
I will never pour salt on another, never bait one more, never make a careless step out of my front door.
This will be the last slug I kill through any reckless act.
This is not just optimism, but a solid fact.
Categories:
slug, animal, environment, funny, humorous,
Form:
Free verse
There's a little known sport
That is played in the South
If you ain't from round here
You may know nothing about
It is played by the old
Enjoyed by the young
Quite the crowd pleaser
This salting of slug
So grab the favorite of minerals
And your crystal shakers
Try not to view this
As demented behavior
You can taste the excitement
On this game de jour
Hold steady the Morton's
Get ready to pour
Scream like a banshee
Jump up and down
As we watch the slugs
Turn inside out
The best of Southern shakers
Come into play
With the salting of slugs
On slug salting day
Categories:
slug, funny, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
(Occasional Rhyme)
Splat.Take that, plaguey pest;
you, your brother, and all the rest.
Were you given license from heaven
to hurl yellow-bellied goop
onto my sparkling shield?
It's there to separate wind,
not catapult you to glory.
But lack-a-daisy husband
threw out this quibble,
"You're riding in a Buick,
not a sidecar on a cycle.
Count your blessings, dear;
it's scuzzy glass and metal,
not scum on your teeth."
No power-wash, soap or brush
will burst their odious wad.
They cling as if their fling
came from the hand of God.
I'm reluctant to admit; they appeared
on Veterans' Day, and stayed to say
Merry Christmas in slug bug scuzz.
Categories:
slug, car, insect, travel,
Form:
Free verse
.
night appearing slug
slimey creature on cat's plate..
one drop jelly left
Categories:
slug, food, funny, nature,
Form:
Haiku
Seems soup mail aint working...
Tracy sent me a Verse about reading Slug trails on the walk,
but Grannie fed em table salt to stop their talk,
no bloody predicting allowed,
snail trails under a Turkey shroud,
they'll just have to squeak and squawk,
in the creamy cloud,
says Mork from Ork,
for the feeble and less endowed,,
the centtrafuge will make you talk,
perhaps the footpath should be plowed?
Don
Categories:
slug, adventure,
Form:
Ballad
Yellow fire hazards blemish the lawn,
prickly to bare summer feet.
Locusts overtake the heat.
Aphids feast and continue to spawn,
yet still remain strawberries to eat.
7-8-2021
Categories:
slug, blessing, food, fruit, garden,
Form:
Rhyme
An orange Tesla that was bought by Scott
Ran out of go juice right there on the spot
Then was quickly passed
By a Pacer, gassed
And AMC car shaped like a kumquat
Categories:
slug, car, fruit,
Form:
Limerick
The next bullet
might have your name on it
Think about it,
cause the slug won’t
The next thug
might be coming thru the telly
Oh, yeah ...
‘copter mouth flying under the radar,
with gunnery claws out
Ready to flat blast devour fat wallet pigeons
who love their paper purse belly
Mesozoic slugs in power
don’t wanna outlaw the deadly hot lead
Cavemen in golden towers,
engaging in 45-caliber clubs to the head
Shotgun weddings politically approved,
selling out the people
to the manufactured ones selling the guns
Spray paint the town red,
keep the blood banks on empty
Talk to those living in dread,
fearful of the silent trigger lady
The next GSW victim
might tell you
they don’t wanna kiss
the barrel bride and metal die this way
Think about it,
cause the slug is moving fast,
with no kind of revolver emotional sway
It’s all black and white,
ain’t no gray
Lead is the color of death everyday
Think about it,
cause the slug wanna have
the very last bloody thoughtless say
Categories:
slug, allusion, truth, violence, wisdom,
Form:
Free verse
Phillipa the Slug
Was tired of being so slow
So she hitched a ride to somewhere
A destination I don't know
Her ride was kind of interesting
As believe it or not you see
The transport she had chosen
Was even slower than She
She'd mistook him for a Spider
As they can be so quick
But she had jumped on board another Slug
And now she felt real sick
Coz the slug was slowly dying
And she had to say Goodbye
So she slithered off real slowly
With a teardrop in her eye
Categories:
slug, angst, animal, imagery, sad,
Form:
Rhyme
Fact is. We're stranded here.
With an ever ungrateful-Godless population.
Resources are far beyond strained.
The selfish leadership perched upon nuclear oriented brains...
We're in a race to see if we can outrun the dark side of ourselves.
Into the safety mirage of our stained glass spaces.
We move like banana slugs.
Trying to escape the flames.
Of a renegade campfire of our own making.
We've been ordained, the fragile species.
Swept away by gentlest of tides.
Suffocated by a slight dip in oxygen.
Our mason jar spacecraft with microscopic cracks.
Searching for fresh drinking water
within the seams of the heavens...
Although we've skunked our own Eden.
We're alone in the universe.
Stranded by colossal egos.
and small cane toad brains...
Who'll be the alpha cannibal.
Sitting around the omega campfire.
Taunted by the sirens of the stars.
Haunted by the gray wing of a nuclear rain.
Categories:
slug, animal,
Form:
Free verse
Hidden between the valleys
of his mundane life
oozed a seeping river
a wearisome wandering
unfocused vision
of tedium,
an incongruous rift
lazing amid the taciturn hum
spinning at turtle speed
tempting the idle grass
to ripple.
He ached to feel
the earth move
beneath his slimy girth,
to know the rush of speed,
the awe of going - too fast
being unable to stop,
the joy of having to say
“excuse me – comin’ thru”,
to be the - “UN-slug”.
A deep breath
a lonely exhale
the all too often plea
“Hey, wait for me.”
fell upon the silence
of his mundane life.
John G. Lawless
©11/2/2018
Categories:
slug, dream,
Form:
Free verse