Best Skewed Poems
Sleighbells ring, he ain’t list’nen
frozen toes, they is glist’nen
Nick has got him a fright
on a damn frigid night
all because of orn’ry reindeer Dan
Gone away are the kind words
Here to stay are profane slurs
Nick ain’t very happy
His night started crappy
all because of orn’ry reindeer Dan
In the meadow Danny spied a fairy
Danny Boy done swung the sleigh around
Santa Claus so fat with face so hairy
got planted on his ass upon the ground
Reindeer Dan sure gets distracted
Santa Clause sure is impacted
by the plight of his sleigh
he’s filled with dismay
all because of orn’ry reindeer Dan
Later on he’ll conspire
as he recalls what transpired
He’ll post a want ad
for a someone less bad
to take the place of orn’ry reindeer Dan
But Danny boy is still a singing
even though his ears are ringing
from the words which he heard
he’s the scourge of the herd
the A D H D, orn’ry reindeer Dan
Categories:
skewed, holiday, nonsense,
Form:
Limerick
Facts we look upon,
And the apparent truth we observe,
Depend upon forgone,
Opinion that we reserve,
And is perhaps not what’s deserved.
Sharon Bell
Categories:
skewed, life, visionary, perspective,
Form:
Quintain (English)
I get less than I give
Old x in your archive
A skewed equation
Categories:
skewed, allegory, love,
Form:
Haiku
Some people say I'm strange,
I guess that could be true.
They just don't understand,
My kaleidoscopic view.
When the world gets them down,
They tap into their pain.
When the sky begins to cry,
I'll just dance in the rain.
All the unhappy couples,
That made a choice to wed.
My contentment's complete,
While alone in my bed.
Those taught to judge others,
By the color of their skin.
The only message I'll share,
Don't put 'em down, let 'em in.
Too many cower in fear,
They're so afraid of death.
But when the Reaper comes for me,
I won't curse my final breath.
It isn't rocket science,
Or some complicated math.
Just the willingness by me,
To walk down my own path.
Categories:
skewed, cheer up, cry, fear,
Form:
Rhyme
SKEWED SKYWAZE*
geese formation lost
broad strokes of clouds and blue sky
a gaggle of squawks
Kim Rodrigues © 2016
*waze is a navigation app
Categories:
skewed, bird, confusion, weather,
Form:
Haiku
... thin sunbeam skewed, bent,
through glass of clear water went,
behold, light lambent ..
Categories:
skewed, seasons
Form:
Haiku
A skewed view renewed:
I didn’t get what I thought I wanted, maybe that’s the lesson I needed to learn.
Failure isn’t a destination, it’s a realization that wisdom lets you earn.
Things are not always as clear cut as they sometimes appear,
Sometimes the greatest victory comes with the greatest fear.
If the point is a lesson of growth, I’ve had the lion’s share.
Or maybe the opportunity of broken fences to repair.
What seemed to matter most, really doesn’t matter all that much in the larger view.
Introspection, redirection, views askew.
Shattered, tattered hearts can be rebuilt somehow, this I did learn.
Failure isn’t a destination, it’s a realization that Wisdom lets you earn.
Categories:
skewed, conflict,
Form:
Couplet
Kids screaming with joy,
toy guns fired at each other.
gifts from their parents:-
Teenagers shooting,
taking theirs' and others' lives;
firing parent’s gun:-
AI shooting games,
children joyfully playing;
parents happy:-
Murdering should not
be a gameplay for kids; let’s
check human nature:-
Categories:
skewed, allegory, children,
Form:
Senryu
When e'er i chance
to steel a passing glance
in the mirror hairline fractures appear
than 'afore long
snap, crackle, pop
becomes crystal clear,
whence aluminium glass mirror
(made of a float glass
incorporating additional processes)
leaves highly reflective surface patina 'ere
one narcissist ken
while away countless hours
preening, primping, and pruning
e'en the slightest glare
ring blemish finds cause
for cosmetic surgery
evincing interlinear
crows feet and dark
circular "bags" that distinctly lear,
which medical term for skin folds
and ballottable skin edema
described as “festoon,”
or “malar mound,”
an eye sore overclear
demanding immediate
dermatological action
(if necessary) taking
extra adipose tissue from rear
end supposed extra junk in the trunk,
where derrière,
would not be unduly sore,
perhaps requiring
(whatever would suture self)
plus extra padded underwear
which subjugation voluntarily
"going under the knife,"
would stave off depredations aging
(such as puffy eyes)
at least for another year.
Categories:
skewed, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Free verse
Today's weird zeitgeist,
lived streaming every day,
awaits its Emmy:
Historically, scripting
well played powering mongering:-
Musky history,
trumped-up and well-acted out;
penned and recorded:-
Many evils have emmies;
Check recorded history:-
Reading history,
is different from living the tale;
truth never dies out:-
Click on Breaking News and see,
These bold words' reality!
Categories:
skewed, allegory, america, extended metaphor,
Form:
Tanka
Some say you're arrogant.
You say simply confident.
They say you're hard-headed.
You tell them just opinionated.
To some you're uncommitted.
To you merely open-minded.
Differences in points of view
skewed as viewed by them and you!
Categories:
skewed, people
Form:
Rhyme
tilted over
skewered, impaled,
screwed senseless,
stewed to pulp.
Cheers to the blues, folks
here's to
tomorrow's
feud feast
imbued
Categories:
skewed, blue, feelings,
Form:
Free verse
Things are all around
I start slipping down and down
World is still spinning...
Falling down the pit.
Every time I get the slip.
No light in sight here.
The great abyss sits
Before me, a gaping hole.
My life flashes now.
Categories:
skewed, allusion, anxiety, imagery, innocence,
Form:
Haiku
Perception Skewed by Love
By Elton Camp
Poems always praise lovers to the sky
Due to love, I fear the poets went awry
Her hair is beautiful as gleaming silk?
Why do I not spot any girls of that ilk?
Her eyes are clear pools of such delight?
The girls that I see use theirs only for sight.
Her cheeks are so beautiful and rosy red?
In most girls, they are the sides of her head
Her lips are full and the shape so fine?
Where do they find women that divine?
Girls I notice, their lips look well enough
They’re shaped to talk, eat, and such stuff
Her nose is more beautiful than you can tell?
The women I see use theirs mainly to smell
Her neck is white and graceful like a swan?
How would a neck, long as that, be any fun?
On and on the extravagant description goes
Until they’ve gone from her head to her toes
I wonder how a creature glamorous as she
Interested in any normal man could ever be
Categories:
skewed, funnybeautiful, women, beautiful, women,
Form:
Rhyme
Together watching the sunset
the sultry shade mirrors my mood;
Paint a moment you can't forget
and add a 'To be continued';
Shouting at me yet so subdued
your whisper's the loudest music;
My senses always become skewed,
the sweet scent of love and magick.
Categories:
skewed, emotions, magic, music,
Form:
Other