Sleighbells Skewed

Sleighbells ring, he ain’t list’nen
frozen toes, they is glist’nen
Nick has got him a fright
on a damn frigid night
all because of orn’ry reindeer Dan

Gone away are the kind words
Here to stay are profane slurs
Nick ain’t very happy
His night started crappy
all because of orn’ry reindeer Dan

In the meadow Danny spied a fairy
Danny Boy done swung the sleigh around
Santa Claus so fat with face so hairy
got planted on his ass upon the ground

Reindeer Dan sure gets distracted
Santa Clause sure is impacted
by the plight of his sleigh
he’s filled with dismay
all because of orn’ry reindeer Dan

Later on he’ll conspire
as he recalls what transpired
He’ll post a want ad
for a someone less bad 
to take the place of orn’ry reindeer Dan

But Danny boy is still a singing
even though his ears are ringing
from the words which he heard
he’s the scourge of the herd
the A D H D, orn’ry reindeer Dan
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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Cresswell Avatar
September 11, 2017 at 10:56 AM
ROTFLMCAO!!!!!!!!!!! NUFF SAID.
Hoffman Avatar
November 27, 2016 at 8:52 PM
Lol, well at least it wasn't Rudolph's fault again! Fun and funny John!:)
Flats Avatar
November 28, 2016 at 9:19 AM
Thanks ch. Yeah, I thought Rudy needed a break. btw, have you read Catie Lindsey's "radioactive rudolph?" cheerios and oatmeal!! (no kidding, that's what I eat for breakfast) ~ j
Onclaud Avatar
November 26, 2016 at 6:38 PM
lol, humor is one of your strong suits, john... well done!..huggs
Flats Avatar
November 27, 2016 at 9:43 AM
Thanks nette! glad you gotta smiler
Smith Avatar
November 26, 2016 at 11:37 AM
lol...Dandy Dan was hopefully canned
Flats Avatar
November 27, 2016 at 9:43 AM
as in reindeer stew? :-) you are deelightfully silly amigo!
Kroll Avatar
November 26, 2016 at 11:30 AM
So much fun! Much needed! Thanks!
Flats Avatar
November 27, 2016 at 9:42 AM
you are welcome. giggles seem to be scarce these days;-)
Rodrigues Avatar
November 26, 2016 at 10:28 AM
Love it! You had me laughing!!
Flats Avatar
November 27, 2016 at 9:41 AM
I am sooo pleased!
Y. Avatar
November 26, 2016 at 10:23 AM
Lol! John, these string of limericks are so funny. The imagery and the dialog was top notch. You penned a hilarious scene in this piece:-) Alexis
Flats Avatar
November 27, 2016 at 9:41 AM
I hadn't realized the song, "Winter Wonderland," is basically a group of lim'riks so it was easy for my silly brain to twist it around. Glad you got some chucklers. Huggerdoodles ~ j
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