Best Scruff Of The Neck Poems

My love is light (a fairy kiss?)          
               Like the pressure of sunbeams on your cheek, 
     ...

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Hubby was working, out of town, lately, so we went to pick him up.
And we passed thru the town of Metropolis in our ancient pickup truck.
Now don’t think Dragon didn’t notice, that this was the town so grand…
Where lives, Super Duper Man, the greatest hero,...

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Dragon always needs to be entertained, or there’s trouble brewing, I Say!
So we got him an electric train set, for him and his penguins the other day.
But naturally, he had to sit in the middle of the track, not to mention his tail!
It kept constantly,...

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I come out of my hole
everyone is staring at me,
what exactly do they want?
Why won't they let me be?

Every single year that passes
I always have to endure pain,
look to the sky you stupid people
I can tell it's going to rain!

They keep waking me up
every, stinking,...

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Let my words bring on the darkness
May my words wrap you in shadow and scrape the inside of your skull
Scarring my beautifully sadistic scenarios on the inside of your braincase
Let my words coat you in darkness
Your nightmares are child's play compared to my twisted creations

Let...

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Here I am,
sitting at my desk watching an old 
romantic comedy on my computer, 
the kind of thing I wouldn’t have been 
caught dead watching in my youth.

The height of uncool,
the epitome of maudlin sentimentality,
I’d have snorted years ago,
adding an exaggerated eye roll
for good measure...

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Many years ago my partner gave me an unexpected birthday surprise,
A trip to Lake Windermere, the beauty of it there’s no compromise.

The hotel where we stayed was right on the edge of the lake,
A perfect location for a peaceful and relaxing break.

On the first evening...

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Sheila Watters and her two young daughters were out for a stroll one day.
When all of a sudden big Bertie McCrudden jumped out and blocked her way.
"A couple of kisses from the little misses and then I,ll be out of your life".
The ladies resisted but...

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My x-wife went on holiday
And unbeknown  to me,
She broke her ankle in a rankle
When she skied right up a tree.

Her first day back I said to her,
"Did you have a nice break?
She grabbed me by the scruff of my neck
And threw me in a...

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While walking my dog in a field one day,
a massive black bull appeared in the way.
It snorted and grunted and pawed at the ground,
I could tell by its face that I couldn’t walk round.

Now here was a problem, I had to think quick,
although in my...

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Poetry is my most recent passion
That's got me by the scruff of the neck
Grabbed me a couple of years ago
Not getting much sleep, I'm a wreck

Sure didn't know when I started all this
It would ignite this fire in my soul
That rages consuming every damn moment
Two...

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Bowser at the Computer

By Elton Camp

When I came home early from work one day,
My young dog at the computer I found at play
And at something on the screen he was staring
About any other thing Bowser wasn’t caring

I quickly and firmly made my irritation clear
“Out! ...

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Nero the god! I had a dream. 
There I was at the foot of Mount Olympus.
 Mother was with me as usual. 
As we reached a cross-roads, Agrippina said: 
"Come Nero, here we turn left" But I said: 
"No, mama, 'WE' do not. I'm gonna...

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Where would I end up and what would I do
if I clicked up my heels and relaxed?
I'd let Aslan lick me and 
grabbed by the scruff of my neck
I'd fly with Tinkerbell and Alice Cooper 
battily blooming like Asimov's universes flaming the tongues
of the misbegotten...

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I’m not a shrinking violet
Who is happy to 
Just fade and disappear,
I want to take the world
By the scruff of the neck
And let it know I’m here. 

I refuse to be restricted
By physical boundaries,
I want to spread my wings,
I’m not content that my
Heart is merely...

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