Best Scolding Poems

For Miranda Lambert’s “Inspired” contest
By Carolyn Devonshire


I wanted to write for this contest;
But my muse was staging a protest.
     “Take me...

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Dark Knight-tress 

Underneath 
This gown I feel nothing
Silk less feelings
The odor of intimate apparel lessens 
Vanity fare from any sun
Warrior of beauty
Where have you gone?
A...

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I Heard Mother
(to tune of "I Saw Mother Kissing Santa Clause")

I heard Mother scolding Santa's elf
As I prowled the house on Christmas Eve.
He'd hid in...

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I don't know what came over me that day - an instant of weakness after years of resistance, I suppose.

My beaming spouse leads me, a...

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A giant snowball in springtime
From twenty yards out the sound and smell
Closer now; breathing her numbing scent
Listening to the drowsy hum
of greedy and jealous bees
forced...

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You squealed with six-year old delight as I wriggled from Hilda’s belly. 
I was a runt, the first of five pups who, with our eyes...

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Spring takes me for a warm walk in the park,
with emerald trees
swaying in the breeze.
And I hear the chirps of a meadowlark
sung to captivate
and attract...

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Free me from this bold transgression,
Random words without expression.
No clear thought from them unfolding,
I’d rather listen to a scolding.

My plead is this, if not profound,
Please...

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You squealed with six-year-old delight as I wriggled from Hilda’s belly. 
I was a runt, the first of five pups who, with our eyes closed,...

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Pink and grey walls rise like castle parapets
Reflecting the sunrise in golden hues
I ride along the canyon to the sound of leather
Creaking softly in the...

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An Devil's Dalliance


It was just one of those mornings?
Or at least I think it was, that is,
if I had created “morning’s” yet.
All my little angels...

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Sand in sheets
scuffing skin and reminding 
last nights attire reaks like bonfire
 a hundred days like this 
   a sea of endless laughs...

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The wait seemed eternal to feel inspiration.
Minutes were mountains as each one ticked by,
my hand poised grasping a pen, and then
seated without hitting one stroke...

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My Goddess of Home Furnishings 

I watched you floating in your usual way, always in song..,
though you could not see me.
From between the racks of...

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