Best Rubes Poems

The day was brilliant--Sol spreading diamonds in the sky-- 
When Kathleen and her father faced the slope, 
He with trepidation, she with hope.

They scanned the rise and watched like country rubes
As sliders paused atop the run,
Then hurtled down on sleds and tubes,
Jinking, jerking, shouting, screaming;
It...

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The alleyways within the maze are paved with rats and mice.

Evangelists with moneyed fists collect the sacrifice

from losers scorned and rubes reborn, and promise paradise,

while in the back they cook some crack, inhale, and roll the dice.



A bum called Boe has stubbed his toe, he’s...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but being a man
she missed the damn can
and her rattled john...

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Skagway, Alaska in the late 1890s was sure a rowdy place alright!
It was seethin' with humanity a-raisin' hell all through the day and night!
'Twas the gateway to Chilkoot Pass beyond which lay Klondike gold!
Why!  You could scoop up nuggets by the bushel, or so...

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Listen to the chumps,
listen to the rubes,
screaming that democracy
is going down the tubes

But every wise guy knows
when the fix is in
To put all their money down
on the one who has no chance to win

It's the art of the con,
art of the con
Guess your vote didn't...

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Moe
Larry
Curly

Shep 
Joe

This Three-Fifth Stooges moron quartet
are brain-slow slugs you don’t wanna IQ know

Just sitting on a milk crate,
waiting outside of the MGM studio gate
Moe, Larry and Curly passed my way

They were yukking it up,
talking clown downright tomfoolery
Saying how they were the new chaos custodians of...

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They’re fencin’ off the free range,
Sayin’ that’s the way things will be;
I reckon it rubs us strange;
You just keep ridin’ to be free.

They tell us “do this or that,”
They show us how it should be done;
But I’d just soon eat my hat
And ride off in...

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The sun illumes a land in precarious peace,
There was a time when heroes walked with ease, 
But now, complacency reigns shamelessly, 
And the distracted people take weal for granted.

The decaying dynasty finally crumbles and tumbles,
The peaks and gorges are once again scorched,
By the scourge of...

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Little Miss Sure Shot Gains A Namesake

Rhinestones and rawhide
Prancing horses and the dream
Of the Old Wild West;
Dazzling the Old World crowd:
6 shots through a card tossed in the air,
Ash shot off the Kaiser's cigarette -
These things made the old, defeated Chief smile;
"Little Miss Sure Shot"...

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They gathered in Jerusalem;
Together, they would pray.
They huddled in the upper room
And waited for the Day.

It happened at the Feast of Weeks,
When Pentecost arrived;
A sound like mighty rushing wind:
The Spirit came alive.

Like fire, it rested on each one:
These men, all humble, meek;
The Spirit gave them...

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I see deeply;far behind the mask You show to others.The facets of a brilliant mind , You hide from Rubes and Lovers.An Eclipse of Your own contrivance,crafted skillfully so sweet and cunning.Your star shines brightly.Haileys beads dance in Your eyes so revealing and exciting.Exquisitely Unique...

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Leprechauns do a jig
Moguls eat a fig
Rubes eat a pig
Crimson is real big

Accountants get a raise
Bankers get to appraise
CEO's get to the next phase
Crimson is the post chaise

Crime lords get the bling
Business men get a one night fling
Choir of Angels sing
Crimson is the thing

Dogs get...

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OLE SCRATCH’S BEST WHET DREAM
By Roy Merritt

The devil he likes the city 
But he likes the country too
The devil he’s likes them city folk
But he really loves them rubes

The denizens of the city 
They know they live in sin
But country folk they love them some...

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As a person of lay,
I do watch in dismay.
All these government rubes,
look like fools on our tubes.

Playing silly games,
as you try and bring the shame,
upon this President Trump
voted in by us "chumps".

No respect for his position,
wasting time, an inquisition.

So you try to apply
allegations and lies,
to...

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Mating Calls, or, Purdy Please!
Limericks by Michael R. Burch

1.
Nine-thirty? Feeling flirty (and, indeed, a trifle dirty),
I decided to ring prudish Eleanor Purdy ...
When I rang her to bang her,
it seems my words stang her!
She hung up the phone, so I banged off, alone.

2.
Still dreaming to...

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