The Secret Place of the Most High

The sun illumes a land in precarious peace,
There was a time when heroes walked with ease, 
But now, complacency reigns shamelessly, 
And the distracted people take weal for granted.

The decaying dynasty finally crumbles and tumbles,
The peaks and gorges are once again scorched,
By the scourge of purges and the roar of warlords,
Stately cities are reduced to ashes as they clash.

For the fortunes of men forever wax and wane,
Burning ambition paves the way to perdition,
With their towering arrogance, they brandish lances,
They charge with fury, seeking eternal glory!

The hooves of their bolting steeds tread rudely, 
Upon the hopes and dreams of common rubes,
Lauding themselves as the rising ascendancy, 
They conquer and scheme without empathy.

Amidst such strife, men and women cry and sigh,
They brood as they are driven into servitude, 
Streaming away from the ruins of their hearth, 
They weep over fading memories of bygone mirth. 

As for me, I am well aware of the follies of men,
I sought not pomp, power or to lord over and reign, 
Thus, God rewarded me with an oasis in the chaos,
A quiet utopia of everblooming peach blossoms.

Of clear skies, lush gardens and teal colored lakes,
Day and night, I gait gently to the tune of a flute,
And compose poems while gazing at silky moonglow,
Everyday, I delight in this wondrous Eden of my own!

The faith and virtues I so steadfastly accrued,
Have freed me from the bane of men’s feuds,
For I now dwell in the secret place of the Most High, 
And abide in the shadow of the Almighty!


All rights released into Public Domain

8/27/2016

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016



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Date: 7/6/2017 2:57:00 PM
Very Good poem
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Date: 9/2/2016 1:29:00 PM
continuing on, so there's really no issue if that is your intent, there are no rules to follow except for when there are rules to follow, so if this is a verse there really should be some consistent rhyme, if you like it this way then it is really free verse where there is no rhyming structure. You follow? Great writing, could use some tweaking of syllable counts if you want to have solid structure to the write, but up to you of course. That's all! Cheers
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Chung Avatar
Brian Chung
Date: 9/2/2016 11:04:00 PM
Thanks for the great and detailed advice, I will keep it in mind.
Date: 9/2/2016 1:24:00 PM
So Brian, here I am as requested, this is an excellent write, I noticed so many good things, your internal rhymes are very good well placed, your word choices are excellent, however your end rhymes don't seem to follow much of a pattern, and when you get to the last stanza it looks like you have a pattern, but then you don't.
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Date: 8/27/2016 2:05:00 AM
Brian, this is very impressive! You should enter it in the Contest: POETRY UNHINGED Sponsor John Lawless. I think it would do very well. I love it! 7 ; )
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Chung Avatar
Brian Chung
Date: 8/27/2016 2:32:00 AM
Thank you so much for your kind words! I will certainly enter. Also, I was inspired to write this by Rimsky Korsakov Scheherazade Mvt 3. If you have not yet heard it, I strongly recommend it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYCmUSDnxb4
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