Best Roach Poems
Well, I've been in jail since Juvember,
And I've pulled thru Maynever,
And now it's past September,
And I wonder if I'll ever,
Get out of here,
Yea, this place sure would be lonely,
If it wasn't for my pet,
And he sure is real homely,
But still, my love he'll get,
He sleeps in a matchbox,
And wakes up in my bed,
He's sometimes in my socks,
Or a layin' by my head,
I enter him in races ,
With all my criminal friends,
And me, he never disgraces,
My race-roach always wins,
He can really move fast,
One second for five feet,
And I sure hope his legs will last,
So he'll never get beat,
And he holds the track record,
Here in this ol' jail,
And he might just beat it,
But only time will tell,
But then one day my race roach
Was walking on my shelf,
When he suddenly fell off of it,
And nearly killed himself,
So I hollered for the Sheriff,
And he came a runnin' fast,
I told him to call the doctor,
Or my race roach wouldn't last,
Well, the doctor came a flyin'
A little later in the day,
I told him my race roach is dying,
What more could I say?
The doctor said I am sorry son,
But his leg will never bend,
I believe his career's done,
He'll never win agin,
So I started crying,
I cried agin and agin,
I almost felt like dying,
Now my roach would never win,
So the doctor took him away,
Yea, he took him out the door,
And I just have to say,
I haven't seen him anymore,
But what really puzzles me,
Is where'd he take my "baby bug?"
I wish he'd bring him back to me,
So I could give him one more hug!!
Hey!!!I just caught another one,
A little faster than the last!
This little "Bugsie" can get it on!!!
Gosh is he ever fast!!!!!
Ralph the roach
Is of a devilish kind
He will forever encroach
Upon all that he finds
He will sample your food
When you're not aware
He will think you rude
If you don't want to share
He loves to sneak around
Surprise is his favorite game
He won't make a sound
To scare you is his aim
He waits on the ceiling
As you take your shower
He grins in excited feeling
Ready to make you cower
Then he launches himself down
As you scream and slip on the soap
You see his flash of brown
And throw your shampoo bottle, feeling like a dope
You grab the shower curtain
Trying not to fall
If you got him, you're not certain
You're really quite appalled
Suddenly he runs through your feet
And you do a crazy dance
He will never admit defeat
He will surely escape if he has the chance!
You throw your washrag at him
Your conditioner and towel too
It seems the little beast can swim
Though you try to drown him, shouting, “Shoo!”
By then water is spraying everywhere
And Ralph the roach is laughing in glee
It's become such a nightmare
As he takes the opportunity to flee
But one day he'll return
Why would he leave a place so fun?
He knows you'll never learn
That a roach's job is never done!
Scrambling across my basin sink
What is it that you must think.
Of this unnatural habitat
We bipedal anthropomorphs live at.
The arrogance you must perceive
Is but our bent to self-deceive
Ourselves and all who invade
Our omnipotent barricade.
Our divine right we must protect
Lest we admit to some defect.
You may rightly be contemptuous
Of our small world pretentious.
Another being will this way come -
A specie more adventuresome.
And in our domain it will supplant us
After an event calamitous.
g Tiberius
Through and after
A nuclear blast
We'll still be around
Eating crap
Fear of light
Perserves out fate
Were hidden between cracks
In the darkest of place
Persnickety eaters
Surely not
We'll eat our own dead
Just merely for a snack
We will still be around
Long after you're gone
Eluding light
And eating crap
Kitchen lights turn on ...
The creepy, crawly cockroach
into darkness runs.
Menacingly you look like you want to attack,
As I watch you crawling for that late night snack.
Antennas are searching for my next movement.
You're staring at me like I'm your amusement.
I move to the left, then try to move to the right.
You step towards me and I'm frozen on sight.
Tell me, little critter, what are you about to do?
I wish I had a clue so I could make my next move.
I need to get this can of your imminent death.
I'm in desperate need of you to take your last breath.
See, I can't sleep when I know you're around,
So sorry for you, you're about to catch a beat down.
But then, I scream like a girl and my heart starts to race
Because your wings take flight to begin your chase.
I'm so scared, I lock myself in the bedroom.
I don't think he was quite ready to meet his doom.
But I have to go to work, so he's got to die.
He doesn't pay rent so he has to say good-bye.
I open my door and check the surroundings.
My heart beats my chest with a fearful pounding.
He's disappeared...oh God, where did he go?
Eyes wide open, I move around on tiptoe.
I grab the red can and stay still in silence.
Out of nowhere, it flies with pure defiance.
I close my eyes and scream, spraying at the air,
As I flail my arms around without a single care.
Again, I run to the room just to catch my breath
Shaking the can of Raid to see what was left.
I peek around the door to see it laying on the floor,
Lying in a puddle, the roach was no more.
Encroached By A Roach
Encroached by a roach
Those insects which we do dread,
Who we wish were dead.
Jim Horn
Roach with piston which will cock,
To me sounds like a bunch of crock.
North for the fields of corn grow and many feasts cleaning dirty skin in the white river bath they laugh they cry slaughtered like sheep in blind carnage they die.
East rain of slime beckons my wall of no emotion many flies to feed many yellow gardens to seed. doves with handprints of blood on them singing pitchily with eldritch songs.
West the man hands with laitance my eyes identify the invisible mountains a prominent tornado coming to me in red dust I see Babel and its army of stone statues and cocoons for great bugs men.
South home of the beast and his army of blue-skinned and their metal shell of magic stars. The one-eyed men were enshrouded by false-hearted white shadows and their flaming messiah. The shadows face a gray army only to be contemplated by an army of rainbow.
Scuttle scurry
Roaches
Askidaddle to the
Left
Skidaddle to the
Right.
Furious feets
Propelling
Gripping zip
Zero escape
Because
Feee-fi-fo-yum
A roach soon will
Roast
Ex
Ter
Min
Ate
The dead roach with its upended crinkly legs
has been lying in the windowsill for at least four weeks.
I would get rid of it, except...
nothing has amused me for years half as much
as people's horrified reactions when they notice her.
This poor ugly black dead thing.
I have decided to have a tiny plaque made, and a little glass coffin.
I will put her into the coffin, and glue my "snow white" plaque on the side,
ever so sweetly.
I will caution the taxidermist to make sure the legs remain up, as it is the cutest thing.
I will then pay him to stuff and stand seven little dead flies or ants.
His choice.
I will put little hats and vests on them and label them too.
Grumpy will really look grumpy.
This will bring the dead roach to a whole new level.
It might even embarrass the custodian,
but as she clearly has not noticed this dead roach in four or five weeks,
perhaps not.
Am I your rose,
Or your roach?
You assure me i’m the rose,
But how can I tell for myself,
I wished I could see inside your pretty skull,
See the flowers of thoughts growing there,
Some made from seeds of envy and hate,
Some from seeds of the most delicate love and tenderness,
I wished I could watch them bloom and blossom,
I wish I knew if you meant everything,
Every word you've said,
How can I tell?
Your face is permanently embedded in my head,
With fine details,
As sharp as the line of your jaw,
And along with the face comes the threat of your potential lies,
Still fresh.
You deleted it!
Why?
I am getting closed to you
Till we face each other
I hope I have the dang to share that lovely meet with.
Why you run like a ROACH?
I just want to make things clear ;)
(This is a fictional poem)
Last week I tried to get out of paying for a meal.
But when it backfired, I became quite ill.
I put a dead roach in the plate right after the waiter brought the food.
It would've been better if I had put the roach in the plate when I was through.
When I realized that I ate it, I refunded my lunch.
While I was eating, I wondered what made that loud crunch.
I made a decision after I ate at that bar and grill.
I'll never again try to get out of paying for a meal.
Trump Wore Broach With Roach
Trump as President around would pouch,
And when he did saw him wear a broach;
Also termite,
Full of spite,
Which would contain silhouette of a roach.
Jim Horn
Beto O'Rourke just said this on the news.
Trump and Black Roach
Everyone's environment Trump did encroach;
Even naked woman wearing beautiful broach;
Wiggle trying,
While dying;
She had turned out to be a huge black roach.
Jim Horn
In order to put up with Trump you have to
be able to laugh him off like his idiot supporters
do.