Best Real Estate Agent Poems

Squirrel agent showed him thousands of trees
this particular client being very picky
how about this one she'd plead
no he'd say not enough leaves

She'd say this one is nice but he'd disagree
saying too many squirrels means no privacy
after weeks of driving around they got into a rut
basically...

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In my New England town
our local Democratic Party runs everything.

Some would argue these local celebrities
and self-promoting treasures
to posterity
rather over-run everything,
and surely we could find some truth
in this way of seeing,
but we are learning a spirit of generosity
invites more healthy pollinators,
honey bees
rather than swarms of angry...

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I know of this gal who's started a diet
I wish her much luck in her quest
Can't mention her name, she'd be upset
But accepts this challenge with zest

We know how difficult diets can be
One of the hardest things to accomplish
But this gal can do it if...

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I am house shopping
with the required Buyer's Agent,
also a fairly tolerant friend of mine.

She likes to drive
although not gifted with any sense of direction,
until we hurriedly arrive,
then she beelines into the ubiquitously requisite lock box
as if by smell.

Meanwhile
I visit current occupants,
the trees first and foremost,
then...

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Mary, Jimmy, and Tommy had a garbage
can lid full of charcoal burning.
  They were Homeless but they had each
other.
  Mary was telling Jimmy how she managed
to get the free charcoal from the Sav-Mart.
  She said, " I always walk in and make...

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The Legend of the Laughing Skeleton 
  
By Elton Camp

The real estate agent didn’t want to show the place
“The old farmhouse and barn are both a disgrace.”

“Since nobody has lived there since way back when
It isn’t going to be fit ever to be inhabited...

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House hunting was a challenge
as the real estate agent drove me around,
I specified that mid-century modern 
was my dream and hoped to find it,
determined to be patient and not have a fit. 

At an open house I found what I wanted,
a sprawling beauty with ceiling...

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I See Beyond…

I see beyond the damp, moldy roof shingling
I pay no mind to the stray cats on the stoop mingling
For I know that behind that chipped painted door 
Is a not just cape cod cottage but much more

A young girl in a dress runs...

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I had bought it as a future investment
Just as I am getting ready to sell my house I have a Real Estate Agent
I begin to pack all my belongings to move in my new pad
The kids are all grown up and no longer hear them...

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Soot on LA highway signs. Billboard of you,
a real estate agent. All endeavor slides
toward inertia, extinction, forgetfulness.

It’s very tropical. Vegetation invades
the house unless constant inputs of joy
apply. The scientist in you feels the

great ape in you. The great ape feels
death growing wide. What about work?
I...

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Morning light shimmers
Floating dust welcome;
Excited salutation


World awakes
Noisy traffic;
Rush of work day


Knock on the door
Peephole lookout;
Real estate agent


Morning cuppa
Fortified supplements;
Health insurance


Bamboo trees
Walkway sentinels;
Windy voices hum


Old plumeria tree
Speaks in vivid colours;
Reds, yellows, whites bloom


Lift alarm screaming
Fire drill or short circuit;
Irritating noise


Balcony view
Ant-people far below;
Busy antics ply


Temple oracle
Praying...

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The Legend of the Laughing Skeleton

By Elton Camp

The real estate agent didn’t want to show the place
“The old farmhouse and barn are both a disgrace.
Since nobody has lived there since way back when
It isn’t going to be fit ever to be inhabited again.”

We insisted that...

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Cecelia was a new person in town to see
about the rooms for rent with availability.
This woman came to start a car rental company.
It would serve the people within this community.
Cecelia knew Prester was the name of this place.
It showed as a village inundated with God’s...

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Aurora wakes at 6:30 a.m.—
not to birdsong,
but to the wail of toddlers
and the ache in her knees
from sleeping on the side
that keeps her back from seizing.

Belle flips waffles in a castle-shaped toaster
bought on clearance,
while her Prince snores—
still between jobs,
still “figuring it out,”
still dreaming he’s the...

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Why can't they fix the roof that is leaking onto me
How about the gutters full of holes for all to see
My windows no one can see out of,I wish a real estate agent could find me new buyers
When people ring my doorbell I cannot hear...

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