Best Putts Poems

Flailin’,  flailin’, flailin’;
There goes my ball sailin’
Into a trap, the water or the woods.

Flailin’, flailin’, flailin’;
You can hear me wailin’,
“Why won’t that damn ball go where it should?

Drives go right.  Putts go wrong.
I shank my wedges or ‘skull’em’ long.
My golf game’s just no...

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A strong passion of mine in recent years 
is being on a golf fairway...
Its a place as other golfers would agree
is an escape from stress of every day...
Its definitely a whole new kind of stress
but a hand full of good shots brings smiles...
The friendships found,...

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Be A Better Putter

Was with naughty iron that is a nine,
Which some say has become benign,
That balls seemed slow as molasses;
Did need to take a few more classes.

From whole golf course would be cut;
Had played never learning how to putt,
Should see each scratchy terrible scar,
That...

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WOMEN DRIVERS


The trouble with women drivers
with all of their if’s, ands, and butts

is that when they are driving for distance
they lose all their delicate touch

thinking the faster they get there
will cause all the others to blush

but no one cares how well they drive
as long as...

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May your drives be long and true
Missed fairways, but a few
And when in a rough,
Be it not tall enough
To affect your follow through

May your approach shots miss every tree
Be straight and shank free
Your club selection right
To land it pin high
With a line easy to read

May...

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THE DUFFER


Clyde Rolf
Played golf

In rough
That's tough

Mishap
Sand trap

Putts missed
He's pissed

So far
No par

Entry for Jan Allison's "Five Fabulous Fun Footles" Contest
(22 Oct 2016)...

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Crookhill ladies  take the tee
On their very first “girly” golfing spree
To High Street stores they wave goodbye
Preferring sun-baked Spanish skies ,
Aperitifs in long, cool glasses
Served by waiters with tiny asses
 
No tears were shed, all eyes were dry
As they boarded EASY JET 109
On route...

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Patriot's Play Scheme 

Should I make love or leave well enough alone?
Even though may be young teen or fully grown;
My decision, what things will it be affected by?
Nothing works out no matter how hard I try.

My life bottomed out and became abysmal,
Yet I will struggle...

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Randolph
Tried golf

Paid fees
Bought tees

Teed off
Pals scoff

Drive ****
In rough

Balls lost
They cost!

Oh crap
Sand trap!

Putts bad
Gets mad!

More flubs
Breaks clubs!

So far
No par

Played poor
No more!

Club house
To souse!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired...

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There is nothing more magical,
nor precious, 
than the gift of motherly love. 

Your heart thaws, as she grasps you in a warm embrace 
Her smile fills you with joy,
She putts her soul into everything she dose, 
because, she love you. 

She gives you advice,
and she...

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Midst the mulga and the gidyea out beyond the old Paroo 
runs a road which leads to Yowah and a great place it is too. 
Where the populace is smitten by an urge they can’t withstand: 
Its the lust to find the queen of gems,...

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Heeey! Heey! Black, black woman 
Run, Black Woman Run,Run for your 
So called husband is about to Beat 
you and hit. You again, Black 
Woman Run,Run for he has Made 
Another child somwhere and you are 
about to Bear the Pain for his 
Eraction.
Heeey! Black...

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Blend of yellow and blue, it's a pickle and lime.
It is jealousy's hue and a plant in its prime.

It's an emerald, jade, and a lawn-covered yard
And St. Patrick's parade and an alien's card.

On a pond it is scum, in Wisconsin a bay.
It's a gardener's thumb...

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Compared with us, the kids today
Too little play and too much weigh.
Alone indoors they snack and sit
And buttons hit, while we stayed fit.

We'd quickly chores and homework do,
Then dash through doors to fun pursue,
To basketballs and arrows shoot,
To jump with ropes, and footballs boot.

We'd earthworms...

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Clyde Rolf
Played golf

First nine
Went fine

Next nine
Not fine

He muffs
In roughs

Sand trap
Oh crap

Tough break
In lake

Bad hook
In brook

Blew putts
Some klutz

Hurled putter
In gutter

O'er par
By far

Disgust
He cussed

Clubhouse
To souse...

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