Best Puke Poems
The car door opened
The first thing I saw
Was an explosion of balloons,
More than I’d ever seen
In my entire nine-year life.
For the first time
We were at the fair
I leapt from the car
Feet running before
They hit the ground,
Knowing I had to see
Everything,
Do
Everything,
Taste
Everything
In just two hours
Before the long trip home
And, I did!!
The drive home was filled
With dizzying, dazzling,
Stupefying memories of
Excitement, movement,
Colors, noise,
Tastes,
People,
Rides.
I had taken in
As much as I could
As fast as I could
Leaving scarcely room
For a breath
Now I finally let it all out
By throwing up
In the back seat
With a loud, “Brrraaaggghh!!
As he pulled the car over
My father mumbled,
“Never again”,
My mother whispered, in reply
“Never again”,
I scarcely heard them
As I shouted,
“When can we go again??”!!
Excuse me while I Puke
I hear screams of virgins watching
their innocence being tortured.
I see flowers hiding in the shadows
covering their eyes with shame.
I smell the putrid odors,
fuming from the stench
of bush meat eating scavengers.
Forcing intimacy on cherubs and angels.
I see abused women and children,
giving up and dying because
no one is looking for them.
I saw the First Lady of indifference
at the mall caressing a Gucci collar
for her little poodle dog.
I heard that birds still sing
and flowers still bud.
Right now I cannot enjoy
their contrite delight.
My eyes are filled with blood.
Is there anymore-
Bizarreness to be Ignored
AS I puke.
https://www.facebook.com/bringbackourgirls/photos/a.218484111695963.1073741828.218477488363292/292667570944283/?type=1
And so the story goes:
Ex- Smokers are thee Worst!
You see them everywhere as they act offended and either:
Walk faster in disgust or
Stop and exasperatingly explain how they stopped, and you should too...
Excuse me, I was actually trying to enjoy my smoke..
Are usually my thoughts on the whole deal
But to take it one step further,
I invited an Ex- Smoker over to hang out with me:
Dominos Pizza, sure why not...
Extra garlic buttter, no problemo!
As he sat saturating each slice
and quite precise at not leaving a dry morsel
We watched T.V. and talked
and that was nice
He looked at me quite stirred of emotion
and said these words:
I would kiss you but it's the smoke, I can't handle it...
Oh, OK
(thinking to myself as I lit up)
Oh how I enjoy you that much more my little cigarette..
as I blew the smoke away
sitting on the patio
A bit courteous was I,
and if you've ever heard the saying,
I got screwed and didn't even get a kiss,
that much played out as the night went on and on and on.
They next morning he rolled over and smiled sweetly
but the breath coming out from his mouth as he spoke
was quite vile,
like a varment had crawled in his mouth in the middle of the night,
and Died!!
As I acted like I was sleepy, and rolled over away from the fragrance of rotten pepperoni, and fuming with slightly aged garlic....
The lesson in all of this is:
Take a self check when giving advice.
Look for signs that your opinion even slightly matters to the one you are voicing it to.
and mostly...
If Smoking BOTHERS You, STAY OUT OF MY AIR!
Please....
Squeeze your cheeks and nary speak.
Never you squeak and squawk.
There be a wee more yards to make,
As you take your puke fart walk.
What wild plan that sounded grand,
Has landed you in this state?
Make no mistake we all relate.
So, sympathy we do impart.
We pray you’ll make it,
But you must take it.
For you’ve earned your puke fart walk.
Now lady luck might be the stuff
To help you make the pisser.
So, when she comes through and you don’t spew,
Though your insides turn and toss.
Stop and kiss her, never diss her,
Whence you’ve undertaken the making,
Of the puke fart walk.
So, here’s the deal!
We’ve all had to feel an awful consternation
Undertaking the making of navigation
Filled with trepidation at the realization
We’re not suffering from constipation.
Now we must cross a certain divide
And there’s no way to hide from prying eyes.
Thus, we hold our breath, wish for death,
And swallow all our pride.
With dignity gone, at what could go wrong,
We silently depart, on the journey known in part,
As the puke fart walk!
LANDING IN A ME AND YOU LAND
listen,~
I have this like conundrum,
A choice
and probably a problem with either one or one million complaints
As I curse the portrait this universe paints
With the blood of those in turbans atop
And no matter how loud I scream the world won’t stop
Cease
Surrender
nor accept and live with people who are willing to be tender
The world has always been a world of trouble for me
And if John Doe had problems they would double for me
Perhaps it’s because I seem vulnerable enough to ache from whatever the universe throws in my direction
unable to make any correction
nor connection
And watch the hills to tumble as mountains turn to mud and clay……
today
© 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee!~
YES YESTERDAY YELLS
Ah, but that was yesterday
Today God surveyed the universe as it is
And always was
and shall always be
seeking beauty beholden to no one the Lord hath created creatively
It was most shapely in form
Far from the norm
Rich in royalty with a countenance divine
And now I see the universe as a vintage cask of wine
A world wherein we fear not my dear
A land of luxury where the sky is always clear my dear
No clouds to blur the beauty of the one that God had chosen well
No hurt, no pain, no misery from the cradle from which i fell
Children are free to be children and have no need for a locating device
And for peace there is never any price
Everything is everyone’s to share
To care
To bare the weight should it find the shoulders of a soldier
And it matters not as we are ordered to slowly become older
God’s hand came down and chose the one with beauty beyond one’s due
God’s hand came down and picked an angel to be you
© 2011.…..~free cee!~
Its all you see everywhere,
Pavement hugging,
And beer blankets,
Puke as far as the eye can see,
A sea of puke for a world,
Where the latin name for life,
Is jokus sickus,
Oh and the bubble gum,
Is from the 80's ego bubble.
The California GOP
Does not believe in liberty
As sly as foxes
Fake ballot boxes
Swallow each vote maliciously
The Texas GOP decree
People of color need a knee
One travels far
To vote per car
But only when one's white and free!
*"There is no bottom to how low
Trump and McConnell will go
to retain their power"
RIGHTEOUS RETRIBUTION
I awoke this morning soaked in piss and puke but I know it wasn’t mine
For the night before I had consumed no rum, tequila nor any soured wine
And so I came to the conclusion that Jesus had been the source of what I had awoken to
But my deepest regret is that I didn’t awake being anyone but me, anyone else including you
Because the most difficult job in the world is being me and there ain’t no paycheck at the end of the week
So it’s okay if Christ himself yearns to vomit on me or had taken a leak
For the things I’ve done cannot be described by the spoken words which I may say
Horrid and horrible crimes against man and nature for which I must thusly pay
Or the imbecilic statements I might utter
Words spat out with not a stutter
So that which my savior does is simply payment for the horrid and horrible acts for which I deserve such retribution
And alas,, it’s justifiable that Jesus made me awake to his most righteous contribution
© 2011.…Phreepoetree ~free cee!~
face like string
gaunt guitar split
rustic rhythm bleeds
gaze gore breeds
hoisted hollow dug
by leering lust
limbs like sequoia
bounty breeze's destroyer
nocturnal nature's lawyer
callous curves canvass
attention into trance
stark emotions spanked
I, punctured priest
porous puke spree.
'20:02:16:09:56
They eat porridge then vomit it up
Dancing when they find carrots
And eat the other’s puke
Till they puke again and again
The sick game they play
For they are elite
And number one
Both gross and lovely
With added sugar