Best Pretentious Poems
½ cup sass
1 tbsp eye roll
2 cups suprirotive
1 cup white privilege
½ tsp rudeness
1 brand new car, softened
5 oz brand name clothing
A dash of allof, to taste
Add all ingredients together, while whisking in misinformed news media. Mix thoroughly for pretentious.
I
"Gotta job as a nanny!"
"Maybe they'll hire me as a butler"
"Butler and nanny always live
in close quarters"
She winks
He raises and eyebrow suggestively
II
"I love flirting with poets
so...
palpable"
"Indeed my dear, indeed.
We are a flirtatious, passionate creature"
"But we're also dramatists
adulterers
alcoholics
and prone to murder and suicide"
"Yes, some may look down on our kind,
but goddamn, we ain't boring"
III
"The first time I read Bukowski,
it was like I rediscovered
some part of myself
that was missing
or that I'd hidden away
either consciously or subconsciously
years ago.
I might have to write that down.
New freeverse."
"Love when that happens"
"Me too.
That's one thing i love about talking to poets.
Conversations often turn into writing"
"Simple Ideas morph into insolent dreams.
There's my freeverse snippet of the day"
IV
"A good poet may exaggerate,
but is no liar"
"True;
and exaggeration is like getting high,
makes everything better.
Possible Haiku?"
V
"Love is our strongest muse"
"Absolutely.
It's the most vital element to human life;
brings our greatest highs and deepest lows"
VI
"The cool thing about dating poets
is that they don't give a care
if you get
caught up with someone else
and by caught up
I mean
hopelessly
carelessly
seeexually
entangled."
VII
"The white gown
drapes over your succulent frame
like a dress of beauty.
Your hair, rusty orchid
in the shade of the picture,
cascades down smooth cheeks
the hand can die happy
having once caressed."
"That was my mom's wedding dress.
I like rusty orchids,
and the Shakespearian ending
was a harpsichord
resonant
a saunter around my affection for the dead
living
doll
I once was
came again to the meter of memory
an escapist serenade"
VIII
"Where does time go
when poets commerce?"
"Onto the paper"
Lush pretentious garden sculpts to be gleaned.
Fullness of repose with sweet quiet sound,
fruitful, and forbearance draw nature's ground.
The sensuous feel, oft seasons has seen.
Butterflies noiselessly stir round fragrant
sweet allure angel's tears; with airy grace
scatter elsewhere to perennial space.
Ants, beetles, and birds herald, spring vagrants.
Wind nimble bend forth, leaflets surrender
mere fragrance in its resilience breath span,
devour one complete, hence its roots began.
Spring vernal equinox, has force to render.
Spring arises in gallantly through ardor
in the wake of hints still left from winter.
2/22/2019
Boiling shells crack down hard upon raining rooftops
None doth any apparitional material cover upon her arrogant gift
She hast not laid down upon her last upstanding
Glass convails images of the inconceivable
Throwing away the Sun in blackened sickness
No guilt, no shame,
Unfeeling the inevitable eternal despisement
Swarms choking the insides with a blanket
They whisper in your ear "I love you"
They grant you no delegable antidote
Pig-wrapped in a wasteful pursuit of carnal futility
Living out the rest of days hollow
Old and carolled she slips on the filth of plastic suit
No, she won't live that long
(Originally Written 3/20/2019)
Being Pretentious
By: Tom Wright
7/11/2019
It seems some peoples nature is to be ostentatious,
Because God put on earth those of every kind.
While this type of person is apt to be fallacious,
When beyond my vision they’re off my mind.
“Sometimes those who don’t socialize much aren’t anti-social,
They just have no tolerance for drama and fake people.”
(Quotes and Notes)
Blackened cubes of naturality stomache across the pains of a million screaming faces
Crushed by the weight of two ton pound horsehell and drowned in the unthoughtfulness of the moon's cruel disregard towards the emotions of the ground-up grime of the Earth.
Her circular orbit brings punishment towards the agony and despair of crying mothers
Wailing and screaming all day but her arrogance mutes all.
Selfish. Unjustified. No one hears the cries of undeserved gnashing and torture
Day after day, she slams and beats down her unrelenting eternal rage upon them.
Nothing to save them. Nothing can fire bring upon their release.
The Earth is temporary. The Moon is forever.
Even after the fire she will continue on in her rage. The sources forced to suffer
her eternal beatings even after the rest of time and time on again.
Screaming and crying and grieving for the rest of eternity.
No death. Just the sweet eternal bliss of immortality.
(Originally Written 3/21/2019)
Don’t you miss me?
Do u even think of me?
You're still my every thought,
you're still my every breathe
I wish I didn't care so much
I sometimes wish
my feelings were numb
that I could ignore them
pretend they don't exist
pretend you don't exist
maybe it will be easier
maybe I wont feel
as if I've stopped living,
I'm tired, tired of living
this pretentious life
begging for respite
yearning for freedom
to untie the clasp
that ties your
heart to mine
because your heart
don't recognize
the beating of mine…
I am god.
I have destroyed all that is evil, and all that is good.
Remaining is the past.
The past is so full of potential, don't you think?
It retains your thoughts, your whims, your sins.
Everything about you, in my filing cabinet.
Every time you've lied, every time you've rubbed one out.
I know every girl you've thought of. The guys, too.
Your 3rd grade teacher, really?
It's all in the past.
It's all between my eyes.
Human nature is destructive,
But also very instructive.
You learn what you want from it,
You choose the path you wish to knit.
See the destruction around you,
Let that nature never dwell within you.
We are but microbes in a vast universe,
Thinking we move forward while in reverse.
We are specks of life pretending to rule,
Thinking of ourselves as a precious jewel.
Pretentious and destructive is our nature,
Destroying both our present and future.
YEAH just walk away, Rene
I don’t need you anyway
to know if this was meant for YOU
you'll question in your mind.
I always thought that you were cool
until you made me out the fool
you clenched the doubt when you sold out
Pretending to be kind
Was I just blind or too naïve
to see what you had up your sleeve?
You never once allowed yourself
a genuine friendship
So yeah, just walk away Rene
I’ll never ruin another day
you proved yourself,
"pretentious friend"
when you gave me the slip.
Your so pretentious,
The repetition is endless-
And the conversation relentless;
Though my restraint is tremendous.
Trying to keep cool and collected-
But even I, will be affected.
I'm sick and tired of being falsely
corrected;
I'm uninterested, in the fact that you feel
offended,
Unprecedented-
Consider this the new me; reinvented.
-Carly Larkin
I shared my florid words
about our torrid love
with an ardent lover,
who exclaimed propitiously
that they were astonishing;
then solicitously,
she asked me to elucidate,
how did this prestidigitation occur;
from whence did I extricate
these words of exultation,
these harmonic chords of verbiage,
that resonated so intimately
with her psyche.
When the real question is:
how did they find me?
It’s closing in,
The harmonic melody,
It’s tone deliberately grim.
As a one-time melody, it is heard by all.
A familiar, yet unfamiliar ring.
For the majority - its tune is distance.
But like all those before, I can hear it-
I can hear it from deep within.
It’s seduction.
Always terribly well-advantaged,
Overpowering,
Never once balancing.
From a figure showing us from within, it gives a gesture done to many before myself,
Void of rush,
It’s time for our dance.
What of my arm?
What tames my reach?
What keeps my arm dangling at my side?
Something foreign-
Something I cannot recognize...
Limbs void of any flesh, it coaxes with its twists and turns
Its movements are deliberate,
Deliberately leaves one to feel left out.
Not special but eternal,
Our well-worn dance.
But unlike it’s “ending”, it is mine instead.