Best Piddled Poems

<                                    cakes and sausages on hot griddle
   ...

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Gus sipped a few brews and went on a spree,

   And in public piddled on a prized tree.

      When the cops nabbed him that day,

         Poet Gus had this to...

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She was an abstract woman in a clinical world
theoretically reasoning her notions were perfectly
discerning midst-chaotic sensibilities,
whilst her inane whimsicality kept semblances of
insanity eye-leveled twixt reconfigurable ideologies'
over-share & objectionably designated delicacies of
exothermic exposures pseudo-psychic phenomenons,
therefrom she found divinities were misaligned
with governmental expansions as an alternative to
spirituality...

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Now here's a tale that needs to be told
Of three little pigs so very different
Their names were Ernest, Roger and Winky
These names by their parents were given

Now I could say these pigs were not so nice
At times they were rightly a pain in the ass
Their...

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NORMAN
Norman was a character a funny man its true,
He was a country copper, till the force said bugger off blue,
He was there in Mungindi when two Squatters piddled on plants,
Grabbed onto ole Carruthers and booted him up the pants,
You cant do that said ole Loostrang,...

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Deep within the forest span 
Where trees block out the sun, 
Where loggers chop the days away 
And work is never done; 
Where monster moose patrol the pines, 
And hawks soar through the sky, 
You'll never hear a worse sound than 
Dungarvon Whooper's cry. 

The...

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My neighbour Cath visited me
cat followed, but Cath did not see
puss piddled then shat
on my Persian mat
it was a true catastrophe!

FICTION POEM

03/14/21...

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Fido

I took Fido out for a walk
I knew that the neighbours would talk
His ears stood up proud
His breathing was loud
And his teeth were like big lumps of chalk

I bought Fido only last week
From a bloke I met down by the creek
Although he's quite massive
He’s ever...

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At the pool hall, the bathroom was closed.
Pipes were punctured, the plumber supposed;
But some pro had to go,
Thinking no one would know
If his flow didn’t have him exposed.

So he piddled but there were some clues,
For some drops hit competitors’ shoes.
Soon a sign on the wall
Was...

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Daybreak 1
                        Frank Halliwell

The glow is in the Eastern sky
The night is  almost done,
Excitement at the garage door
The new day has...

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They called the Willow Bunch
they lurked around the
Ruschello Mio looking to
find jobs. They had skills
to impress and they wished to
work. They sawed wood for the
canteen, They were butchers
and cooks. Saggio the next to
the oldest of the six was seen as "clean and cute"
he had his...

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Mucky Eye cure
The dèeds and misdeeds of ole man wise,
Piddled in a bottle not to catch flies,
With just a splash of Ainaseed,
To kill the smell of piss indeed,
Sandy Blight surprise.
The Mucky eye cure if you please,
6 pence an iodine bottle eases,
Just a yellow jaundiced look,
Swore...

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Clever little doggie, with your head hung low.
You knew you were bad, you knew it, though.

You barked your orders many times near the door,
But, I didn’t listen, so you piddled on the floor.

Clever little doggie, now your head you’re holding high
You’re rewarded with a treat,...

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He was a foul mouthed fellow from Falmouth
Who spouted and spewed some sewage - like slime
'Til he met a maiden who made a new man
And taught this rodent ridden rummy to rhyme

He piddled and puddled and peeled off a poem
Then sniffled and snuffled and sensed...

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I’ve doodled and dawdled in Delaware,
Piddled in Pennsylvania without care,
I’ve been to New York and Alabama,
Michigan, Missouri and Montana. 
I’ve travelled in every state, my friend,
And I can tell you that, in the end,
If you lose your mind - see how it can be -...

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