Fido

Fido I took Fido out for a walk I knew that the neighbours would talk His ears stood up proud His breathing was loud And his teeth were like big lumps of chalk I bought Fido only last week From a bloke I met down by the creek Although he's quite massive He’s ever so passive And even with cats he’s quite meek I tied him up outside a shop He got in a bit of a strop He pulled on his rope The shop couldn’t cope And collapsed on an off duty cop I walked Fido down past the school Why are kids always so cruel One dunderhead chided ‘That thing should be rided’ You can’t educate a damned fool We called on the mother in law He piddled all over her floor She mopped up her Lino Said, ‘There’s one thing I know, A dairy cow couldn’t pee more.’ I left feeling guilty of course Saying Fido was full of remorse ‘Fido!’ She said, ‘You’ve been misled,’ And, ‘That’s a strange name for a horse.’