Best Old Fart Poems

THE OLD FART SONG
(sing to the tune of "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys")

Verse one:

Old men ain't easy to love and they're harder to mold,
so train 'em when young, girls, don't wait till their bones have turned cold.
They're slow as molasses,...

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I've checked the date it’s not April Fool’s Day -
Trump’s President of the U S of A
These words to you I impart
To me a ‘trump’ is a fart
In the White House this old farts gonna stay!

01~21~17...

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Walking slowly dazed and bemused
Thinking about what I was just told
"It'll be an opportunity" she said
Dressing it up as a gold plated crap
"The change will be good" she said
Straight faced through gritted teeth
A move to a different department I pondered
Filling me with angst and dread
I...

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Chuck’s carving a huge pumpkin mask
It’s really a challenging task
It will look like Don Trump
When he’s taking a dump
In orange glow Trumpty will bask

Trump annoys the Democrat votas
They’re praying Biden will be Potus
Let’s hope Joe will win through
Trump cryin'  oh boo hoo
left drifting along...

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Always wondered why Grandpas always took naps
Now that I'm old, I no longer wonder bout these chaps
No choice, it's part
Of being an old fart
From one to the next, not much time has elapsed...

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Taught son Scottie everything he knows
Now teaching me, it's a totally new show
Was a star in times past
Things move ahead fast
Now an old fart, my flame's getting low...

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I hate visiting Uncle Dwain
His farting just drives me insane
When he drops a bomb
I just glare at mom
Cos in my chair I must remain

He say kids are seen but not heard
I sit and daren’t utter a word
Don’t care what he thinks
I know his butt stinks
And...

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The old fart (alter cocker) shuffle

as one fairly long run on sentence
unwittingly made locally famous 
courtesy residents here at 
Highland Manor Apartments
as first one foot and then the other
painstakingly, and agonizingly dragged 
across the cement walkway
making absolutely sure
the entire foot touches the ground,
(analogous to geriatric...

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The Wind arranged and rearranged
                                        ...

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