Best Nitwits Poems
Finally May Find His Fate
Read poem about priest and did wait;
I always knew that it would be great;
My face feed;
Another read;
In my poem he finally found his fate.
Jim Horn
Crave and Became Slave
My life in wide circles went round and round,
And pretty soon I started hearing the sound,
One I do crave;
Became slave,
Of my God who I love and now have found.
James Serious Mysterious Horn
Master of Limericks, MLm
I must say that all the poems I
created were inspired by God.
Deprecate and Deplore
Slow and Did Grow
What we would do first started out slow;
After that the speed did grow and grow;
Water whirled;
Circles twirled;
Ended up fast and soon saw it overflow.
Jim Horn
We did determine that he was deficient,
And became effective and very efficient;
As expected;
Then directed;
Final efforts ended up highly proficient.
Jim Horn
Select What Will Be Correct
At first, I must start to select;
Find things that can be correct;
Poems read few;
A picture drew;
All were perfect if I recollect.
Jim Horn
Trump and His Mental Ability
We measured Trump's mental ability,
And we were fooled by all his fragility;
Not sentimental;
A case mental,
That could be contributed to his senility.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Master of Limericks, MLm
I remember ABC standing for Alcoholic
Beverage Control Doing Effective Fine
Great Honorable Ideas Jubilantly Kind
Like Most Nitwits Of Plutonic Quadrants
Requiring Stability Through Usurping
Various Words Xactly you find in a Zoo.
Trump played with area which was erogenous;
Can you believe had been owned by Pocahontas;
Not only that he appeared to be very dumb;
We did see him beating his brains on a drum.
Jim Horn
After reading poem and then did wait;
I always knew that it would be great;
My face feed;
Another read;
In last poem had found my final fate.
This would be normal thing to happen.
Jim Horn
Over ten again. Oh, well!!!
My dear and I together like to ride;
Beside me and now beautiful bride;
Tidies up things;
Happiness brings;
God always will be our great guide.
Jim Horn
I am applying for the consultant position
of Office Manager for which I will audition.
I am undeniably qualified to deal with nitwits
and idiots I will immediately classify as 'twits.'
My solution to deal with those people is fair
It may not be righteous, but I don't care.
If your company is greedy to make money,
it's ok with me. Just give me my check, honey.
I don't browbeat employees with a big stick
when they come in late or say they're sick
I'll crack the whip on any numbskull at work
and there's one less lazy fool I'll call a jerk.
If you think my method is severe over kill,
you're right, because I don't show good will
to jackasses who keep making me mutter
words you would only hear in a street gutter.
I'll get control and do what needs to be done
and I promise I'll try not to pull out a real gun.
I'll need some handcuffs and maybe a jail cell.
Give me free rein and everything will be swell.
My resume' experience speaks for itself.
Once, I've even fired an Elf on the Shelf
I did it without a good reason or just cause
so you can waiver that harrassment clause.
You can hire me now for a trial run.
Keep me on or fire me, but I'm the one
you need to give brainless creatures the boot...
not due to my work ethic, cuz I don't give a hoot.
He is an ant,nonentity and an entertainer,
He walks half naked in torn clothes,
dance openly in the market square
to music that is not there,
The crowd applaud with amusement.
He has no home
dump hill or underground tunnel serves as his niche,
has many relatives who come to
watch him display,
He soliloquizes,so they think;
seeing things that are not there;
Is he mad?
He eats 'fresh' food from dust bins and incinerators,
He looks healthy, never sick;
Freedom to move without hindrance,
He communes with astral beings,
he has no fear,no sorrow nor pain;
His teeth is darker than amber and
the smell from his mouth is 'pleasant and killing'.
Then comes another being-
a lion,a he-goat and a lover of money,
He prides himself in luxury;state house is his abode,
Many surround him to watch his display,
sixteen luxurious cars,with five duplexes
and a private jet,with many concubines,
Is he mad?
He eats 'fresh' meat from silver or gold plates,
he looks fresh and healthy,but sick in the mind,
cannot move freely for fear
of being molested or killed,
Is he sane?
Wasteful spending is part of his trait,
Corruption and embezzlement are his garments,
Spends money overseas;establishing industries and hospitals
in foreign lands,
while at home,many are jobless,hungry and dying;
dying from lack of medical care and facilities,
dying from poverty and malnutrition,
yet,he throws golden coins around,
Is he wise?.
Whether an ant or a lion,
The spectators will disappear,
the ovation will stop,
the blood will cease flowing
and the air will stop circulating,
the clean or dirty body will decay,
Just one day,one minute and a second;
the luxury tarnishes and
golden fleets varnish into thin air;
The two will enter the belly of the earth,
"dust you are, and dust you shall return".
Then,if that is the case,
Why accumulate wealth at the detriment of many?
Nitwits!and fools!;people with myopic visions,
They have little understanding;yet,they are educated,
Between the ant and the lion,
who is really mad?..
It's Bloody Ridiculous
It's bloody ridiculous....
Make no mistake, Malaysians are such a complying lot....
We complained about traffic jams, road tolls and blocks...
A nitwit politician suggested waking up early and hitting the roads...
Like any docile citizens, early this morning I was already on the road...
Decided to leave 15 minutes earlier than usual...
Expected to have a leisurely drive to arrive in office much earlier than usual....
It is bloody ridiculous...
There was heavy traffic and I was just another blockhead on the way to work...
Along the drive, there's this litany, How can this be, am I not 15 minutes early...
There should much less traffic, it is only 6.40am, where's everyone going...
It's bloody ridiculous...
So many nitwits on the road, getting up early and rushing off to work...
So many average Joes, waking up early hoping to skip the heavy traffic flow...
I'm sure given a choice many if them woukd be rather at home...
Who wants to be the bigger nitwit, following up on that suggestion from a nitwit politician...
It's bloody ridiculous...
I'm sure all us Average Joes, we would rather be fast asleep snug in our beds...
Now imagine all those casually dressed slippered millionaires...
They are well cocooned, nestled warmly in bed and snoring into the morning air...
Here I am on the road, hoping to beat the traffic jam, never mind the air...
It's bloody ridiculous...
I stand within these walls of comfort, Called freedom. While in every corner of this world, My siblings die. Brothers and sisters of earth, Struggling for hope. My vagabond mind wanders in circles, Searching for answers. Still, questions hang like dead fog, Which never lifts. Explosions of pain that ears can hear, Waking my eyes in morning papers. Wars giving less than nothing, Smother my senses in useless regret. So many feeling so sorry, Yet simply changing channels. Compassion being a dirty word, Those elite few have come to despise. While walls they've built soon crush them, Beneath weight of their own insincerity. Intellectual nitwits, Unaware of their bottomless ignorance. Marching beneath a banner of confusion, They proudly do wave. All the while chanting, Let the common ones eat dirt. As their warm apple pies quietly cool, On selfish shelves. As unfortunate mothers loudly weep in despair, Watching their children expire. These ones of power do not hear those sounds of death, Only their greed raging out of control in a battle outside.
Freddie the goat was as wide as a boat
His hair was long, tangled and whiffy
He asked Maisie the cow could she help him right now
And she mooed she would in a jiffy
Joey the horse said with some force
My tail is also quite smelly
So Maisie mooed here I’ll make it real clear
I can also shave your big belly
Daisy the hen clucked from her pen
Could you take a look at my feathers?
Maisie then mooed you’re so very rude
I do all three of you nitwits together
September 6th 2016
Great girdle! She cried.
What happenstance have we happened upon?
Have the two nitwits knocked themselves silly with hammers?
What is the sensitivity they seek so?
She heaves humbly a sigh sumptuously,
As if the scene had the heavenly smells of Harvard halls, the musk of her haberdashery
And wondered how she could fit into such a simple equation
While all the ribald pranks bubble,
made-up faces grin across conference halls--
botox-filled, pimply holes smoothly done
where bag of word- tricks fumble: and allies
looking like nitwits roar in noisy guffaws
bantering with other co- stooges
whose exchanges tangle in crazed quips.
A showtime of indulgent egos now outwit
each other… these officials unmindful
that polka-dot on noses, foreheads, jaws
concealed by make-overs are now melting:
Just then, a well-groomed speaker bangs
the gavel to end day’s hysterical circus...
tell me, how can inane clowns be worthy
of prime news when all they say are fake!
Contest of Edward Ibeh: Polka Dots
1/21/2019
Will you read me again?
Please read me again
And write me a reply
So I can write again...
Yes she wrote for the
Brother fattens like baobab
Fat yet she thins like biltong
At displeasure, He be wordly
Yes she wrote for the
Brother seized power but
Is it for the people by the people
Dermocratic only on manifesto.
Yes she wrote for the
Brother claim immunity when
Questioned . He is conflict with
His phrases I cant make sense out.
Yes she wrote a writ
That her indite to incite
Nitwits she engraved and post
Forth the pun in word. Dictionary.
Yes she wrote
The world is full of things that vex,
Competitors going for rivals’ necks,
Foes that single you out for no reason
And haters who loathe despite the season.
In the face of all this you should stand out
As a stout brain that is not swayed about
By the malicious winds of cheap spite,
But all this needs you to have great inner might.
You need to refuse to hate those that disgust
And forgive those think you’re as cheap as dust,
All this won’t be easy for the raw mortal creature,
It calls for patience and calm of inordinate measure.
You will give up easily if you are just a common Joe
For you won’t stand the world with its man-made woe,
It’s your God-given onus to tolerate the nearby fool
With unconditional love your only shield and tool.
They say we’ll be rewarded for putting up with this hogwash,
In heaven when the nauseating scalawags fill hell with ash;
But even if this were all some trick to deceive the peaceful race,
Don’t you think ignoring nitwits makes the world a better place?
I stand within these walls of comfort,
Called freedom.
While in every corner of this world,
My siblings die.
Brothers and sisters of earth,
Struggling for hope.
My vagabond mind wanders in circles,
Searching for answers.
Still, questions hang like dead fog,
Which never lifts.
Explosions of pain that ears can hear,
Waking my eyes in morning papers.
Wars giving less than nothing,
Smother my senses in useless regret.
So many feeling so sorry,
Yet simply changing channels.
Compassion being a dirty word,
Those elite few have come to despise.
While walls they've built soon crush them,
Beneath weight of their own insincerity.
Intellectual nitwits,
Unaware of their bottomless ignorance.
Marching beneath a banner of confusion,
They proudly do wave.
All the while chanting,
Let the common ones eat dirt.
As their warm apple pies quietly cool,
On selfish shelves.
As unfortunate mothers loudly weep in despair,
Watching their children expire.
These ones of power do not hear those sounds of death,
Only their greed raging out of control in a battle outside.
Copyright © 2014 Robert William Gruhn - All Rights Reserved
"A poem to me is the essence of any thought,
Being built from its foundation into tower scraping sky.
It can fly like no other bird to places never seen,
Even spaceships can only dream of taking its place."
© 2014 Robert William Gruhn
past knoxville and idaho city there are a pair of adorable nitwits.
townspeople refer to them as kooky oddballs, a couple of twits.
their name is easy to learn. she is backward ditz; he is fritz.
brown eyes are lop-sided, their glances can be the pits.
watch out! cautions their neighbor, they will bore you to bits.
they showed up one day unexpectedly during a neighboring blitz.
I heard they were parisians, but another told me they are brits.
fritz can do a weird almost-hand-stand, and ditz does the splits.
twits do not put on airs; neither abides by the ritz or any glitz.
they eat bland foods like porridge, oatmeal, and plain grits.
calico cats come to them all the time, presenting them with kits.
their fighting is so common, their eyes are swollen to slits.
fritz likes to knit, so their house is full of junk that he knits.
afghans, scarves, hats, potholders, and unusable oven mitts.
ditz does not wash her hair, so it is full of lice, bugs and nits.
also have zits, and they have performed some really weird skits.
saps,
nitwits &
dunderheads,
congregating in their little houses of worship,
celebrating a fictional character
manufactured long ago,
so that fear & control might be instilled within the masses
who would give up trying to change the world that they live in &
place all their bets on a mythical overseeing tyrant who
being selfish enough to muster all of life on this planet,
only to pummel it with hatred, destruction & demise,
then cast out one pubic hair of “creation” dumb enough to
allow the rest of us to kill it,
so as to feel better about ourselves,
so as to walk the rest of our lives as if all would be better in the
“next”---
by making symbols of this character’s bogus “suffering”
with strips of Arecaceae folded into little crucifixes
handed out to warped adults & unfortunately early brainwashed youngsters,
our world gains another batch of
dull tools to be found in the shed &
damned if one can find where the sharp ones got misplaced.
The follies of fools
The lord of fools
The fools that are lords
a leader of the damned
Insane the minority of minions
Deplorable and disdained
Blind in the sight of kings and lords
Jester’s of old orange baboons
In golden flossy glossy wigs
Fleeting hair a top fule lords fake façade
In a flock of tweets and Nitwits
Someone said the one eye
man is lord of the blind in the land
of the blind this fool is king
Dressed in nothing but a red tie
& golden fly away sad toupee
The follies of fools a leader
of the damned doomed
And unschooled the folly of fools
the fule lord of one supreme leader to some
Blind in the sight of kings and lords
Burning Republics building empires,
finding legions of cults
a Cult of personality bleeding, pleading
Scheming at the doors of a CLOSED kingdom
tearing apart the fabric of a nation
For the keys to dominion
Someone once said the one eye man
is lord of the blind in the land
of the blind has a fool for a king
Dressed in nothing but Ignorance.
In golden flossy glossy wigs
Fleeting hair top fule lords FRACTURED façade…
Dic: fule (dialectal, chiefly Scotland) fool
as our congregation of lying nitwits & corporate whores
beat the drum incessantly
BAM BAM BAM BAM
bringing pain to the eardrums of the
american people,
with all their fingers in the pies of the media
sending cues to the hollow reporters who are
pretending to ponder every next “move” of
the republicans & the democrats
(two puppet hands from the same puppeteer, whose
eyes never leave the prize---that of more wealth,
more power & less accountability to anyone but
themselves---those whose faces you rarely see
anywhere, whose names you don’t know & they are
all quite content to keep it this way)
as if there was some outcome that
we couldn’t write down now
without any consultation from professional
screenwriters,
nothing more than a
bad b-movie,
all hacked away with red pen markings &
already rejected from any hollywood producer’s desk
for bearing a plot that has been
kicking us in the temples until we too have been
deadened, reeking of a stench that
no one in the world can stand
like the
decomposing rib cage of some dead horse in a street
long forgotten,
with fans blowing the smell around this ghost town in
question---
as we americans fear less & less with every lie that
comes our way & the
talking heads grasp for more ways to spin
this
inevitable outcome,
we are bent over the table
ready for another dose of violently harsh
prison sex---
wherein we will be raped of more things that we
desperately need,
so that this country that is one step away from going the
way of rome
(bleeding from within),
can allow those that need nothing
to gain more and more.