Best Neurological Poems
If I were to step into
and onto
and around
and through,
in and out of WholeEarth
as one ecosystemic
interdependent
unitarian
integral
holistic
holy nature-spirited ZeroZone
Of ego-sheltering identity,
embodiment,
multiculturally emergent incarnation,
polycultural individuation process,
For just one timeless polypathic becoming moment,
I might hear
and feel RightWing religiously-held bad faith,
envy,
chronic win/lose patriarchal anxiety,
straight white male privileged anger,
ego-systemic xenophobic fear
As a ZeroZone therapeutic problem
neglecting win/win polyphonic,
polycultural virtues
Of also experiencing LeftWing scientifically-held good faith,
appreciation,
critical joy climaxing win/win AfroMatriarchal anticipation,
non-binary multicultural feminist democratic compassion,
ecosystemically polytheistic,
polypathic,
polyphonic,
polyvagal neurological win/win,
Unsheltered,
wildly transparent,
spirit/nature vulnerable,
eternally curious
compassionate Fruits of EarthSpirit communication,
Internally ego-centered
when also timelessly EarthImpassioned
In our personal
and interpersonal
and transpersonal experiential learning ways,
RightWing,
LeftBrain,
Either/Or,
fundamental capitalistic deductive Win/Lose
sometimes overpoweringly violent Red Dominance
Is also premature green
Left/Right bicameral,
double-binary,
balancing
ecopolitical win/win promise
through compassionate EarthSystemic holonic communication
Of curiously courageous Light/Power,
Heaven/Earth,
Scientific/Religious,
transcendent/indigenous
ego/eco-revolutionary win/win passions
unsheltered
CoEnlightening
Ego/Eco-empowering
if we were to step in and out
of WholeEarth ecosystemic
integral nature-1/spirit-0 Zone
of ego/eco-cooperatively unsheltered identity,
polypathic co-invested binary bicameral process
Interdependently held
for just one timeless eco-political moment,
We might hear and speak,
experience and know
left and right cooperative,
deductive thought and inductively felt bicameral
health and safety,
compassionate
EarthPeace communication.
A yellow star
not of sky
A yellow star
I buy
Yellow star
whose meaning is atrocious
Yellow star
whose meaning and poetry I notice
Yellow star
whose books like lard
whose unbelievable bulls???t
Yellow star
(okay, yukon axe me whatsapp pinning,
though beep pre spired, cuz mess sigh key
threads experience didst rub burr raw
as if spun as a micro spindle.)
Woolworth (Penneys on
the Dollar Store) Sears electronic,
dynamic and atomic weight
cumulative decades of suppressed
crackle, snap,
and pop, triggering
psychotic sans tete a tete
legal tender visa vis
bit coin block
chain payback daily
quotidian fits and starts
trigger torrential spate
impinging ability to relish potential
existential joie de vivre
finding me (I rate)
analogous to suffocating
unbearable pressure, yours truly
doth eek quate
to Metallica Mega-death
accessing, hammering, and pinpointing
(excel lent lee powerfully)
every square inch
of mine pate
strewing, sparking fiery
fingerhut sized explosions,
and slamming incessant
psychological torture akin to
a pernicious hidebound mate
and as of this date
November 20th two thousand eight
scored entrenched occupation
of my fifty plus
shades of gray matter
becoming more agonizing of late,
where suicidal ideation,
where repressed self hate
sprung from cumulative
(albeit cloudy with
a chance of at least one
meatball i.e. me) psyche subject
to verbal whipping (yours truly),
the gloating mean
bullies didst denigrate,
without doubt half life of
Matthew Scott Harris
aint at all great,
yet to some degree, this saturated
scorpion poisoned, mauled
and jackknifed fate
in some measure
duet hoo war ton internalized
emotions griffins
hound, feast, and delight
(more so ravenously
throve) on Hawaii,
and seamy to Maui
didst successfully, (particularly
throughout earlier decades)
emasculate, under estimate,
now (in retrospect) execrate
at invisible monster
on par with beastie boy
Doctor Frankenstein didst create
only upon death doom
he part wretchedness
will hoop fully abate.
My neurological needs spread like a flea, sapping my strength, sucking my blood like a relentless disease.
Creating chaos, disorder this man has no order where which his life goes.
God only knows my hope's a fragile border that turns barren and cold.
Where once was order, now shadows arise.
As harmony fades and the light slowly drains where no life remains.
Functional Neurological Disorder (FND)
I saw the light slowly fade from your eyes,
living every day with the pain you hide.
Those special moments—where did they go?
Pain walked in and took control.
You wonder why moving has gotten so hard,
leaving your mind confused and scarred.
Your body won't always do what you intend,
and you're wondering when this struggle will end.
You're crying inside, but you're still wearing a smile,
trying to find the strength to go another mile.
Your brain sends signals that your body can't explain,
but what you're going through is real—
and so is your pain.
FND, I wish the world could see
the fight that's happening inside of me.
When my body won't move the way I want it to,
I'm still holding on, still pushing through.
FND, you may knock me to my knees,
but you won't take every part of me.
I may bend, I may cry, I may struggle through,
but I'm more than what FND puts me through.
Darkness comes when depression takes hold,
while memories of better days begin to unfold.
You picture yourself finally making progression,
then wake to another difficult session.
Comfortable one minute, then everything can change;
uncontrollable movement makes your body feel strange.
And when it finally passes, exhaustion settles in,
but somehow you find the strength to rise again.
You're crying inside, but you're still wearing a smile,
fighting a battle others can't see all the while.
Needing someone's help can sometimes hurt your pride,
but there's still a powerful spirit living deep inside.
Some family members leave, while others choose to stay,
with worry written on their faces every day.
They offer compassion, support, and concern,
taking in information they never thought they'd learn.
Because understanding is where compassion starts;
knowledge can bring comfort to frightened hearts.
Don't judge what you don't understand or see—
take the time to learn what it means to live with FND.