Best Nagged Poems
There are women who feel a strong need
To nag men until their ears bleed
In a war of attrition
With relentless petition
Is a cruel way to make men concede
Men wish for a life of peace
But get nagged by a tongue that won't cease
Men will just say
It's the female DNA
That must out in it's need for release
We can’t help it; we just HAVE to nag
Guess some folks would call us 'an old hag'
Men get on our nerves
When you paw at our curves
You should give up and wave the white flag
We can suffer from bad PMT,
Become ogres that men want to flee
We Scream and we Shout
Say We’ll throw you out
But for some reason you wont let us be
Better by far, we should try this next time
It's effective and will prove sublime
By wearing Earplugs
In each of our Lugs
We'll be laughing, whilst nagging - in Mime
Laughing together will lighten our day
It's a tonic to chase all our problems away
For a really Big Smile
Can last a long while
And we'll both get on better that way
Categories:
nagged, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
Tinge Of Purple Rests Within My Heart
Tinge of purple rests within my tired heart
Soft touches of a heavy old soul
Now pulling on my heavy empty cart
Often my world seems to be lumps of coal.
I heard thumps of acorns falling on down
That majestic oak sheds its little seeds
Old age has me feeling like a sad clown
Longing to ride again, runaway steeds
Tis winter! Culprit bringing its bleak cold
Seeds resting secure in the frozen ground
Spring will come and they rise out very bold
Yet again life comes right on around
Nature teaches us, all will be alright
Life and death matches just like day and night
Robert J. Lindley, 1-26-2016
Poem Syllable Counter Results
Syllables Per Line:
10 10 10 10 0 10 10 10 10 0 10 10 10 10 0 10 10
Total # Syllables: 140
Total # Lines: 17 (Including empty lines)
Words with (syllables) counted programmatically:
Total # Words: 107
NOTES:
1. My muse woke me at 4 am to write this.
I told her no but she nagged until I rose to
do the deed. I' tell ya , I want to strangle her
sometimes but then at other times love her to
death..
2. The immediate repetition of the word "heavy" in verses two and three is intentional and used for effect, as both the old soul and its life's burdens are now currently found to be very heavy to bear. Poet's prerogative , norms be damned says I.
Categories:
nagged, age, art, death, life,
Form:
Sonnet
Words Used
Ghost, Heart. (Nouns)
Shiver, Deliver, (Verb)
Wicked, Viscous, (adjectives)
I had a friend- jovial and sweet, in my college days.
The same room, we had shared at the hostel.
I noticed, by and by, she was losing her sprightliness.
Had no clue, what upsetting thoughts nagged her HEART.
One night, she woke up screaming- “GHOST, Ghost”
Looking delirious she said petrified, a ghost was at the window.
I brushed it aside, thinking she had seen a nightmare.
But her erratic behaviour continued, often acting bizarre.
Slowly, she seemed to have slipped into a spell of silence.
There was always a look of horror in her eyes.
She was no more the cheery girl of the past.
Into a world of spectral shadows, she seemed to have sunk.
If ever I woke up from my sleep, I saw her wide eyed,
Gazing into the air, as if seeing something horrifying.
Once, she said, she saw a skeleton dangling on a VISCOUS spider net.
Often, she was seen SHIVERING and stopped behaving normal.
So upset, I wished to DELIVER her of her mournful plight,
Her parents were informed who took her to a doctor.
Under examination, she was diagnosed with Schizophrenia,
Characterized by hallucinations of WICKED spirits, haunting her.
* * * * * * *
When memories come surfing, still my heart goes out to her
Who fell into the abysmal depths of delusion and frightful fantasy.
Will antidepressants work on her? Will she ever become whole again?
Or will the dark demons continue to haunt her, day and night?
Categories:
nagged, confusion, fantasy, fate, fear,
Form:
Free verse
Inspired by Deep Purple's "Mistreated" 1974
Misused, so misused I have been by you.
I can’t believe by you I was so smitten,
but now I am a poor bedraggled kitten -
one that has been nagged
and then through mud been dragged.
Nagged and pestered,
so bitterness has festered
inside me, for with my love you toyed,
then you turned around and said
I made you annoyed.
Oh babe I was so true to you.
But now I don’t know what to do.
With love for you I had been stricken.
But misused by you, I’ve just been sickened.
So cruelly teased. How have I displeased you so?
I feel like someone left diseased; diseased inside my mind.
Why oh why is love so blind?
I just keep thinking back; whatever did I lack?
By love for you afflicted, I became so damn addicted.
Always being contradicted, I’ve been left conflicted.
And now I am restricted . . . restricted from
the love for you I wanted so to show.
Why did you ever make me go?.
Misused, I’m so misused . . . abused; confused.
And now I’m going mad -
insane inside my brain.
I think it makes you glad.
Yes, I’m going mad;
insane inside my brain.
You’re glad; you’re glad; you’re glad,
and I’ve been so abused.
Losing my mind.
All that I can think of is
why oh why is love so blind?
Categories:
nagged, lost love,
Form:
Lyric
Recall the straight and well-planned path of youth
mapped out so clear to lead us through life’s maze?
Though times I wandered off in prankish craze,
the road was there to find again in truth
when pangs of guilt nagged like an aching tooth.
I'd walk it once again, my heart ablaze,
spurred on by welcomed glory, love, and praise
doled out by elders from their judging booth.
How soon the road meandered here and there,
its outline—fuzzy, overgrown with weeds;
and when I think I've walked it at my best
those detour signs appear to bring despair.
Mature, I now must choose to suit my needs;
my only judge- a conscience well at rest.
April 25, 2015
Premiere Contest: Once More I Failed The Truth
Sponsor: Kai Michael Neumann
Form: Petrarchan Sonnet: a-b-b-a-a-b-b-a c-d-e-c d-e
Categories:
nagged, growing up, wisdom,
Form:
Sonnet
The weeds in his yard were sky high
"Just PULL them!" nagged his wife, said he'd try
But the thought brought him sorrow
Said, "I'll do it tomorrow!"
As he sat, eating junk food and fries.
Categories:
nagged, funny, life,
Form:
Limerick
Ned was grandma's billy goat,
The meanest goat in town;
Every time you crossed his path,
He'd try to butt you down!
Buddy was our neighbor,
A twisted lil' teen;
He always nagged that billy goat,
For that's what made him mean!
Fate caught up to Buddy,
We had an awful scare;
He slipped on muddy soil,
With his butt in open air!
Ned saw his target,
"KA-THUD!!"...was all we heard;
Buddy flew across the way,
I could swear he passed a turd!
Buddy tried to squeeze himself,
Between a wooden gate;
Mercy failed to comprehend,
By then, it was all too late!
Trapped like a weary mouse,
Bud's rump in open view;
Ned landed fifty thumps,
His butt turned black n' blue!
It took us all to save him,
Talk about a battered fig;
All the while he was screamin',
Like a frightened little pig!
Hot baths and epsom salts,
A lesson Buddy gained;
He slept beneath a ceiling fan,
To ease his throbbing pain!
Oh, what a laughing stock,
We teased him constantly;
"BILLY GOAT!!", we'd often cry,
Just to watch him flee!
Categories:
nagged, funny,
Form:
Quatrain
Maintenance
There once was a wife who wanted her husband
to maintain every single thing in the house.
"Maintain the plumbing why don't you?" she nagged
And on and on she nags, from sun up 'til sun down.
"Where are my red satin faux fur slippers, she cranked
in unison with, "Oh, bring me Scruffy now!" and "Let's
not forget my Pierre' water boiled with lemon zinger tea.'
Then one day the husband retorted, "I'll maintain the plumbing
as the toilet paper situation needs to improve greatly around here."
And as his voice trails off..."I won't let the door hit me in the a**...
and you'll get
Maintenance!"
Categories:
nagged, funnyme, sun,
Form:
Lennie was a Hen-pecked pastry baker
Who told His wife He might forsake Her.
She nagged and was grossly obese.
He wanted it to quickly cease.
Whereupon He frosted Her Half-acre.
Categories:
nagged, humor,
Form:
Limerick
I am indeed a fortunate man
My dear wife is not inclined to scold
For if she was my life would be hell
My heart would be all shriveled and cold
Within my home a true peace abounds
It is my little slice of heaven
Many say I am a lucky man
In fact my new nick name is seven
Sure there are times I do stuff wrong
After all she didn't marry a saint
Still my woman holds onto her tongue
If she nagged me, I think I would faint
She says to nag would serve no purpose
Men don't listen so why should she try
Instead she will walk away from me
So then I am left to wonder why
I can't read her mind, still I make a guess
I desire to remain in my bliss
So now I am an intuitive man
She rewards me with more than a kiss
For Dr. Rams Contest
"Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not."
Categories:
nagged, humor,
Form:
Quatrain
Here lies Larry Belt, once loved by all
Writing poetry before he could crawl
It happened just like he said
And now he is lying dead
Nagged to death by his mother-in-law
Categories:
nagged, funny
Form:
Epitaph
There are women who feel a strong need
To nag men until their ears bleed
In a war of attrition
With relentless petition
Is a cruel way to make men concede
Men wish for a life of peace
But get nagged by a tongue that won't cease
Men will just say
It's the female DNA
That must out in its need for release
We can’t help it; we just HAVE to nag
Guess some folks would call us 'an old hag'
But men get on our nerves
When you paw at our curves
Men should give up and wave the white flag
We can suffer from bad PMT,
Become ogres that men want to flee
We scream and we shout
Say we’ll throw you out
But for some reason you wont let us be
Better by far, we should try this next time
It's effective and will prove sublime
By wearing earplugs
In each of our lugs
We'll be laughing whilst nagging - in mime
Laughing together will lighten our day
It's a tonic to chase our problems away
For a really big smile
Can last a long while
And we'll both get along better that way
24th January 2016-01-24
Collaboration by Jan Allison and Rob Bettridge
Categories:
nagged, for her, for him,
Form:
Limerick
(I think I made a mistake in the title I gave this. That's why it got so few reads. For any who already read it, I apologize. This is a shameless attempt to garner more reads.)
In These Cases, We Have Judgment Here
By Elton Camp
There’s no need for laws to make polygamy a crime
Some protest, “We must deal with that ball of slime.
How can we let such wicked conduct unpunished be?”
But I have this to say, “Of so little faith are such as ye.”
A man who takes to himself more than a single wife
Gets punishment enough by his life filled with strife
Marrying only one wife will bring problems galore
To take on multiples will certainly bring many more
The polygamist will be so nagged and shoved about
That he should’ve stayed a bachelor, he won’t doubt
You needn’t bother passing laws, my righteous friend
Because this is a crime that’s self-punishing in the end
Categories:
nagged, funny
Form:
Rhyme
She nagged, in monologue,
Her wicked tongue aflame!
But I cared not –
My homemade wine
Packed a bigger punch!
-----------------------------
Paul Callus 19th Dec 2015
Contest: Something with great Impact
Sponsor: Nette Onclaud
[19 words]
Placed 2nd
Categories:
nagged, humor,
Form:
Free verse
I’d been out of work for quite some time and let me funds run low,
Of course this meant some favoured treats are first things that must go,
And for me favoured treat that meant the most, I degenerated into fear,
‘Cause if I don’t work, I get no funds; therefore there is no beer!
I mean I’ve done a bit of part time work, like picking fruit and such,
But it was my choice if I partook; therefore it didn’t lead to much,
Now I’m sick to death of being broke with money owing everywhere,
So I bit the bullet recently to dig me out of this despair.
Of course I must admit the government had a little say in this,
With a strongly worded letter telling me I’d be remiss,
If I didn’t take their offer up by putting me back in control,
And attend work interviews or they will take away the dole.
At first, I was in a total shock; those public servant parasites,
Want to take away my income and destroy my well-earned rights,
I kicked up the dust all right describing how they’re doing harm,
Before I started working Monday planting wind breaks on a farm.
Two blokes they sent out with me were a bit like chalk and cheese,
Syd declared himself a bachelor; a life that Wal felt ill at ease,
So Wal’s conversations nagged upon the need of married life,
And he kept asking Syd the reason why he never took a wife.
This debating eased the pressure from the hard work that we do,
Of course I had begun to wonder why Syd hadn’t married too,
But Syd just gave a little shrug, and then he finally concedes,
“I have two sisters back at home, looking after all my needs”.
Wal shook his head and gave a grin, “Syd you live a sheltered life!
All the sisters in the world can never function like a wife”.
Syd gave a nod and added, “Yeah married life it may be fine,
But when I said ‘two sisters’, I didn’t say that they were mine”.
Categories:
nagged, humor,
Form:
Rhyme