Best Moron Poems
My bigotry festered and grew
then out of control it just blew
but I just couldn't see
since you're different from me
surely I must be different from you
(A kneejerk reaction poem about the man who abused then
tore the Hijaab off a Muslim woman on a local train , last weekend)
Categories:
moron, abuse, religion,
Form:
Limerick
The Lies of Michael Moron
Among the left and the delusional
He is the unsung hero
As long as you don’t fact check
And live in a world called reality
An advocate who lies and twists statistics
I invite the man
Go live in Cuba
With no money
He is a multimillionaire
Pulling the wool over the poor
And uneducated
Need I tell you Moore?
These days we expect politicians to lie and steal
When I see environmentalists and advocates doing far worse
It makes me sick
To think they profiting from slick propaganda's’ tricks
He reminds me of a hybrid of
Trump, Clinton, Suzuki and the preacher
Called Jimmy Baker
A snake oil salesman
Would have higher standards
Notes: He claims Cuba and Canada have better healthcare than the USA, well I invite him, come here, or go to Cuba, with out his millions made from lying and deceiving people, and give that a try. I have been all over all three countries, and let me tell you, he is completely wrong. You have to be delusional to think Cuba has better healthcare, they have trouble feeding their own people, there, and everyone is equal, equally poor that is.
I actually worked with a brain surgeon from Cuba, who, on his vacation drove a taxi to make more money in 2 weeks than he did all year. The stories he told me of shortages and lack of care was horrific.
In Canada, we have free healthcare, except when is not free and you have to pay, oh my, confusing yes? It sure is, yes many services are free, and many are not. However, what is the point of free if the waiting list is 2 years and you will die in 3 months? In some parts of Canada, over 1000 patients leave the emergency rooms of hospitals a day, because of the waiting times. A boy with a finger cut off waits 18 hours to see a doctor. And on and on I could go.
Categories:
moron, animal, education, nonsense, pollution,
Form:
Free verse
He was an unpopular celebrity who enjoyed his liquid food
Acting weirdly normal when he was in a happy mood
He’d been on a heavy diet and was eating lots of jumbo shrimp
They were disgustingly delicious with hot chili and on his diet he won't skimp
His stomach was growing smaller and now looked awfully pretty
I hear his dieting was an open secret and not virtual reality
Once a star of film and stage he could stand out in a small crowd
His face was pretty ugly but his quiet presence was quite loud
This was his goodbye reception for he was now a failing star
Now his full time job in his retirement is propping up the bar!
08~20~16
Contest - Oxymoronic Obsession Sponsored by David Lindsay
Stanza 1 unpopular celebrity, liquid food, weirdly normal. happy mood
Stanza 2 heavy diet, jumbo shrimp. disgustingly delicious, hot chili
Stanza 3 growing smaller. open secret, virtual reality, awfully pretty
Stanza 4 small crowd, pretty ugly,
Stanza 5 goodbye reception, failing star, full time job in his retirement
Categories:
moron, fun, humorous, word play,
Form:
Rhyme
Now, When I turn back
I realize
The depth of my love for you.
It was easy to bid bye
But it’s difficult to endure with a sigh
Memories pile up old and crypt
The moments we shared
The giggles we made
The puerile fights we had
Then again, you came to console!
I was oblivious of my mistake
When I confessed my love
And the price I had to pay
Was nothing but our kinship!
I was a clown
With big red lips and white cheeks
And a big red nose
Masking the feelings
All went in vein at last
Alas! Am I a moron?!
Nothing but love knows
And love alone knows
Its pain and fain!
I am content
Not to lose you for
Not telling my love
I am glad, I am not a moron!
Now, When I turn back
I realize
The depth of my love for you.
It was easy to bid bye
But it’s difficult to endure with a sigh!!!
-17/09/2015-
featured in PS on 25/10/2015
Categories:
moron, absence, emotions, feelings, for
Form:
Elegiac Lyric
Is Being Moron A Metaphor
Questions at me my wife likes to lob
Why don't you go out and get a job
Up to now I am pleading and leading
Find one where poems can be reading.
Teach them how to do poem preparing
For caring souls who will start sharing
And comparing what they like to do
None of mine were ever withdrew.
Writing poems is art form of its own
By artists and was proven and shown
They have enjoyed it and admitted
Is much better then being committed.
So many poems we started to write
Thoughts about Trump off tried to fight
Urge to write poems about his face
As well as his grotesque style and grace.
You must find all of my poems pleasing
Or what I had been doing was only teasing
Many things you found actually did occur
Is having brains of a moron a metaphor?
Go to Wikipedia and check out the word
metaphor. You will find some very interesting
definitions and comparisons.
Jim Horn
Categories:
moron, allegory, analogy, metaphor,
Form:
Couplet
I didn't find her
in a mensa meeting
we never talked
about quantum physics
and i never asked her
about her IQ
of course i meet her
in an irish pub
telling the truth
she is striking pretty
blue eyes
round butt
beautiful boobs
but that's about it
one day she told me
"when it rains
it gets wet"
and the other day
"somebody has to do
something about this guy
Hitler
he is really-really
a bad ass"
at the very end
she asked me about
the cave men
"why the government
doesn't move them
to affordable housing
at the projects
and give them welfare
and mass health"
and more stupid ideas like this
every day
until i left without notice
to relocate to another universe
with creatures who talk
after they think
about stuff
and common sense...
Categories:
moron, parody, universe,
Form:
Free verse
"When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations." John F. Kennedy
Arrogance is such an egotistical trait; one I cannot abide
Ignorance, I can excuse, but not those puffed up with pride
Pompous people sing their own praises in snooty songs
Their sharp tongues exposing them as pathetic ding dongs
Cocky ones enjoy clawing at people, hoping for surrender
Hiding behind the facade of a mask is a worthless pretender
They try to steal the dignity of others, as though out for blood
Tearing at their emotions like peeling petals from a rose bud
Until someone comes along to drag them off their high horse
and reveals their tyrannical ways with little exertion or force
With puckered lips they chomp at people like a big mouth bass
and for thinking I'm naive, they deserve a boot up the a s s
Always acting smug, their spouting and spewing is notorious
Conceited megalomaniacs who think they are vainglorious
Pretentious in manner and speaking, but absolutely boring
Picking fights just to be rebellious, belligerent and warring.
Does such behavior make them feel important and influential?
I see them as venomous snakes, whose lives are inconsequential
One day ego will prostrate them, landing them flat on their butts
Each haughty one I prefer to label an insolent moron and a putz.
December 31, 2021
King-Size Bull Crap Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Charlie Messina
Categories:
moron, introspection, society,
Form:
Rhyme
As I ride this inconsistent city bus at 4:22 not 4:15; I realize that I am the miscreant among people who simply are traveling home. Clearly the people on this bus should be looking at ME as the dirty vagrant begging for bus fare. They should be looking at ME with despondent judgment. I should be looked at with a disdainful glance; for my intelligence is clearly questionable.
I have turned into the crazy guy talking to himself at the bus stop. Cursing at the bus for being 4 minutes late. Public transportation is filled with people who are riding for convenience. People who don't want to pay for parking as they are dropped off at their parked cars. People who live in the inner city with no other choice but to ride the bus. I ride because of stupid choices that have landed me here. I am the minority. The anomaly. I am the person one shakes their head at, thinking, what an idiot. Can I not blame society or my childhood? Can I not envy the "normal" people driving with freedom blowing in their hair? I have grown envious of the mundane. Is there no sympathy for morons anymore?
Categories:
moron, angst, metaphor,
Form:
Free verse
That old cattle rustler, called Moron Mick
boasted about his thefts near Sheriff Nick
A noon shootout was planned
Nick had the faster hand
Moron Mick was a boneheaded dipstick
May 6, 2022
High Noon Poetry Contest
Hosted by Joseph May
Categories:
moron, conflict,
Form:
Limerick
Allow me to ask you this:
What is the point in striving?
For what purpose should one seek the bliss?
Whilst relentless is the sorrow, all else is fleeting
Thus, fabricating the weak line,
which separates living from surviving
Making one wonder,
why bother when all is already lost?
One may choose not to see,
but if one can fathom that one and all are born from the filth,
to the filth they all shall go be
Denying the urge to spree,
only more misery it shall bring.
Categories:
moron, corruption, creation, death, depression,
Form:
Rhyme
The ox and the moron kidded each other
with crazy questions one lazy afternoon:
"Tell me, oh, witty Moron,
what is an oxymoron?"
"That's easy, owlish Ox,
why, it's a paradox."
The ox shook his head and mooed:
"Guesses are far too many,
but the only answer is irony."
To which the moron gamely retorted:
"I disagree. Using hot flatiron, to me,
that is irony!"
The ox stood his ground, grinning:
"Oh, yeah? And a paradox
is but a solo parade of an ox?"
They laughed till they cried, till a deafening
silence exploded and died,
Meekly, together they asked the afternoon,
"Aren't we the oxymoron?"
Categories:
moron, allegory, animals, funny, imagination,
Form:
Personification
Me Myself and A Moron
Me, myself and a
Moron who we wish were gone
And quartered and drawn.
Trump is allergic to
being water boarded.
He even still bares the
scars from his bone
spurs he had to avoid
the draft with.
Jim Horn
Categories:
moron, humorous,
Form:
Haiku
Eagerly on my word processing app
My fingers pressing keys Tippity tap
Penning my classic in verse
Thinking the fog will disperse
Yet there’s no classic just absolute cr*p
Hell have no fury like cranial mist
Even the mild mannered would clench a fist
Aghast as my rhyme and meter take flight
Dreading the empty page night after night
Eureka proclaimed… but the notion I sense
Doesn’t take shape for this poet is dense
Must I endeavour in vain one more day
Ordering words in a haphazard way
Rabid strikes of the delete key
Only conspire to defeat me
Now I’m a nitwit with nothing to say
Categories:
moron, poetry, writing,
Form:
Acrostic
going
slower
then slow
i cross bred
a snail with
a sloth and
so
taking two
to make one
the
sum total
outcome
is
rush
hour
Categories:
moron, muse,
Form:
Where only dating ocean waves
I've come to see them fine
When every ocean wave going by
has come to see me pine
That everything they'd hope for me
is leveling out my mind
When all the hopes they've lived for me
are settling me to find
That everything I go to do
can tell me where they've been
When all the world's an ocean wade
and I'm a dip within
Categories:
moron, analogy, image, ocean, perspective,
Form:
Quatrain