Best Mahoney Poems


Funny As a Heart Attack

A group of older men gather
once a week to talk about life 
after a heart attack.

Old Len chews tobacco still 
and tells jokes in a voice so low 
no one can hear the punch line. 

Another man asks Len  
to talk louder so they all 
can hear the punch line.

That’s when they discover
Len's been telling the same joke 
at every meeting, over and over.

The joke’s about a loan officer  
who lends a man $10,000 for a 
face lift that turns out so good

the lender can’t find him.
With heart attacks in common, 
the men yell “Tell it, again, Len!” 


Donal Mahoney

Ballerina Marries a Bricklayer

Third day on her honeymoon
Sharon asks Butch what it's like 
for a man before he gets married.

A bricklayer by trade, 
and a man of few words,
Butch doesn’t know what to say 

but he knows Sharon has always 
liked to go bowling; in fact, 
that’s how this odd couple met.

So he tries an analogy although 
he doesn’t know it’s an analogy.
From age 12 on, Butch tells her, he

always felt like he had a bowling ball 
in his pants; that was a problem.
He couldn’t find pants to fit.  

When he became a man he joined
bowling leagues, three or four, and
went bowling as often as he could.

Then Butch tells Sharon he met her  
and knew he had to quit bowling  
having found a lane of his own.


Donal Mahoney

A Walk In the Woods

In the woods soft snow
falls on the first day of spring.
Two daffodils laugh.



Donal Mahoney


American Rainbow

Black lives matter
in different ways 
to different people
in the American rainbow
especially bus companies
that bounce over potholes
in the big cities of America.
For them money matters.

If blacks stop riding buses
the buses will be empty  
except for other poor folk
white, red, yellow, brown
who don’t drive cars 
but are too few to keep 
the buses bouncing.

Everyone will understand 
that black lives matter when  
everyone understands
that black money matters
not to blacks alone but 
to all stripes in the 
American rainbow. 


Donal Mahoney

At Sadie's Soul Food Grill

Otis was once a monk 
who took no vows, was
free to leave the abbey 
and eventually he did.  
I met him over chicken wings 
at Sadie's Soul Food Grill.

For almost 20 years
every spring and summer
Otis labored in the fields
raising vegetables 
and crops of every kind.

In fall and winter he
would gather leaves and 
plow the snow, wheel 
ancient monks up and down 
the endless silent halls.
He loved his work
because he liked to help
anyone in need.

I asked Otis why he left.
He said because at first   
he thought life was a burp 
somewhere in eternity.
He still believes that but 
wants to hear the burp 
before he’s in eternity.

Otis likes the chicken wings
at Sadie’s Soul Food Grill,
especially the real hot ones.
He ate chicken at the abbey 
but nothing like the wings  
at Sadie's Soul Food Grill.
A real treat before eternity.


Donal Mahoney

Old Quilter, Old Poet

She’s been making quilts
for half a century and he’s been 
making poems that long as well
and every now and then he brings 
a chocolate shake to her place
so they can take a break and talk.

He always finds her at the frame, 
peering through thick lenses.  
"I’m still house bound, Walt,"
she laughs and likes to say.

Once she told him quilts are poems.
She works with scraps of cloth 
and he with scraps of words and quilts 
and poems are never done until all
the scraps are where they have to be.

Now she's working on a Double Wedding Ring, 
a quilt not unlike a sonnet in that both follow
patterns of their own but she likes crazy quilts 
because she can improvise with scraps 
she finds on floors around the house.
Her job's to make something beautiful 
from scraps others might throw away.

He has no problem understanding that. 
He saves scraps of words and marries them
in ways some folk find odd or useless.
Finishing her shake she says maybe
they play jazz and just don’t know it. 

She likes Miles Davis and puts his album on  
when a crazy quilt won't go her way 
but she would never listen to Miles while 
she’s at work on a Double Wedding Ring. 
Yo-Yo Ma, she says, is the man for that.
The old poet says he would never disagree.


Donal Mahoney


Caseworker Determining Eligibility

Caseworker Determining Eligibility 

		Cabrini-Green Projects
		Chicago

The child, age two, hammocked in the half
moon of his mother’s arms, is locked
in palsy, yet moves an eyelid as I ask, 
moves the other as his mother answers,
application form interrogation.
The father was a white policeman.
“Curiosity,” the mother says. “No more.
I didn’t go with him for money.” 


Donal Mahoney

At a Bank of Elevators

Reunions can happen 
and leave you speechless.
I’m standing at a bank 

of elevators in a hospital
going to visit my wife 
when a wheelchair rolls up

carrying my internist 
from years ago.
An excellent doctor

who retired to teach,
according to rumors.
Now he’s pushed by a woman

I assume is his wife.
She looks sad 
and he looks worse.

He asks how I’m doing
and I say not bad.
I ask how he’s doing 

and he says he’s dying.
And adds that he hopes 
I never have to.

He says he never realized  
despite his patients  
dying could be so hard.


Donal Mahoney

A Poem For Catholics

Natural Family Planning
has its ups and downs
so to speak but it often  

works quite well.
But when the calendar
says not tonight

I ask my wife to please
go in another room
with that banana.


Donal Mahoney

Premium Member Mary Eliza Mahoney Rn -United States First Black Nurse

Mary
 Mary Eliza Mahoney 
birth in 1845 an American black child of former slaves daughter of Mary Jane and Charles Mahoney 
at 18 showed interest in healing Humanity 
in 1863 and the New England hospital for women and children headed
 into the healthcare industry
 has a younger sister named Ellen also wanted to become a nurse
 but alas she didn't graduate
Mary train long days 16 hours
 students then earn $1 to $4 an hour 
Mary graduated 1879 as a registered nurse 
alongside with three other colleagues as the first black woman nurse in the United States of America 


2/6/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr 2021©

Sunruse:  May 7th 1845 Dorchester Massachusetts
Sunset:     January 4th 1926 Boston Massachusetts
Nationality: American
Alma mater: New England Hospital for Women and Children

Daylily

Blooming for one day
a lily welcomes the sun.
Bumblebees drop in.


Donal Mahoney

Gold In My Ramen

It’s your anniversary so 
you’re thinking steak
but your wife wants ramen
so you go to a nice place
and order the fancy ramen
which comes with radishes
cut up to look like rosebuds
and costs as much as steak.

You slurp away with
the best of the regulars
until a gold crown falls 
from a molar into the ramen. 
Seconds later another 
gold crown falls off as well.
The next day the dentist says 
you need new crowns. 
The old ones won’t fit.

He tells you the new ones
will be made of zirconia. 
They'll cost $900 each 
cheaper than gold 
he says in consolation. 

In shock you ask him
what do the homeless do.
He says there’s no ER
for dental work but 
he’s heard about
a retired dentist 
must be in his eighties
who goes into the city 
one Saturday a month 
and does charity work. 
He needs help
your dentist says.
And more folding chairs
in the waiting room.


Donal Mahoney

Butter Or Margarine

It was a mistake to take home economics out of the curriculum at so many high schools, says Wally, a retired teacher who has an ongoing interest in education. He taught high school for many years and still misses his students.

At a Walmart recently there was an incident Wally can’t forget. It pained him deeply because it made him think about the quality of high school education today. He’s not convinced it is what it should be at many schools. 

He was standing near the dairy case when a young man, not long out of high school, held up a package of margarine and asked Wally if it was butter. Wally at first thought he was kidding but then said it wasn’t butter, that it was margarine. 

The young man wanted to know the difference between butter and margarine. Wally told him butter comes from cows and margarine has a vegetable base. The young man turned to his two friends and said, “I’m glad we asked.” They smiled, thanked Wally and headed for the register, margarine in hand.

A week later Wally was at a local charity making a donation and was told the charity had quit giving baskets of food at Christmas after learning several clients had tried to pan fry a turkey. Now they give gift certificates instead.

At the charity Wally also learned that many young people today don’t know how to cook vegetables or fry bacon and eggs. And more than a few have no idea about budgeting or nutrition. 

Wally thinks this reflects poorly on secondary education today. When he taught high school, home economics was taught and students who didn’t learn the basics from their parents at home could learn them at school in home economics, even though it was not a required course. Now he thinks it should be, at least for the many who seem to need it.

He says young people today know a lot about cell phones and computers but sadly some of them don’t know the difference between butter and margarine or how to cook a turkey.  

A semester of home economics, he says, might help change that. He wonders if a lot of Advanced Placement courses are that important if young people can't fix themselves something to eat. Sandwiches and fast food, he agrees, do not a good diet make.


Donal Mahoney

The Landlord

The Landlord

When finally at 80 Sammy died
Polly gave me from the pantry packets
of dry noodle soup that Sammy
to the end drank down as supper.
Tureens of it, with swallows
from the pint I’d smuggle in, kept 
Sammy blinking at the light
the final weeks. I lived below them
at the time and needed more than soup 
but in the parlor where they laid him out
we sat on high-back chairs amid the flowers
and marveled at how straight our Sammy lay.
Who prepared him must have brought  
his gnomic back, twice at least,
full force across a knee.


Donal Mahoney

An Irish Gathering

An Irish Gathering
 
Thomas said
you can’t go home again
but I did for my sister
and the christening of her first.
Everyone, on folding chairs, against
the whitewashed basement walls, was there
for ham and beef and beer, the better
bourbons, music, argument and talk.
Maura came; she hadn’t married. 
Paddy, fist around a beer, declared
I owed my family the sight
of me more often.
Hannah, thickset now,
gray and apronless,
rose beside the furnace,
wolverined me to the coal bin door
and asked me in the face,
with sibilance and spittle,  
who or what it was
that kept me anywhere,
everywhere, but there.
 
 
Donal Mahoney

Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter