Best Loathing Poems
Peroxide blonde and covered in petals,
Bleach kills flowers - She’s less softener than metal
A body rooted in pride, trying to run, Jackal and hide.
There’s some double entendres, catch them if you can,
There’s something about her, try to find it, you’ll both be damned.
To Cinderella she’s her own step sister,
Crying out for love, afraid of those who’d listen.
Just someone out there longing for a cause in existence,
Just someone out there, longing for a reason to stay persistent
I wasn't completely sure who I just was, so
I counted off three-chimes of the bell in the
clock tower.... I'm out late.... Nighthawks swoop
and Crickets hush their tensile ratchet, until I
pass by.
He pushed by me, cutting me off, as I pointed
towards the Hotel on the hill.... he could stay
there, but I would need to remain alert, focused
on matters close by..... like, why is pink my
favorite color? .... and, why are Dutch People
in art, always painted blue?
Doesn't seem fair... with no expectations, rewards,
or pressure, would humans naturally be of a giving
nature? ...... or selfish?
Step after step I move forward.
Into the abyss,
Into the pit
Black, thick, silent,
The pool is filled
Yet the tar is so bleak and empty.
Fully submerged there is nothing,
Nothing but me
Nothing to smell hear or see
So I focus on me
My weaknesses
My faults
My mistakes
I feel all the pain as the air leaves my lungs
As the pressure of all that I’ve done bears down upon my chest and back.
Bones bend and muscles contract.
That last bit of air
Right before sweet eternal sleep
Escapes into the darkness
And for that moment the pain stops and the pressure fades…
I am cold.
I am lost.
Floating back to the top…
I inhale
And life is restored…until next time.
My suit of self-loathing no longer fits
The mirror of compassion tells me so
Years of bad-intentions held back growth
After a time, the length of my sleeves bind
I didn’t realize I’ve become over-sized
These angry pants are fit for a small child
How silly I look with cuffs choking wrists
How I’ve loved my painfully straight jacket
Like it or not, the right suit still waits
No one other than I can disrobe loathing
The best cloak is the one from the womb
It takes skill to unstitch a childish blazer
It takes care to unhem pants outgrown
It takes love to go out in my birthday suit
Let tatters of anxiety fall down the chute
Self-loathing keeps me from disrobing
But, I’m not ready to shed my suit yet
The manly scissors that cuts are too heavy
After self-loathing is bare understanding
Forgive the man unstitching childishness
Let go of short-comings without clinging
Take the macho suit off the rack with care
Try on that fitted suit made for just me
Wear it till love fills the over-sized space
Take it all off till nakedness feels nice
Matthew 24:18
"Whoever is in the field must not turn back to get his cloak."
Wither away in my old shoes
rust brown thoughts
sorrow is not anyone's possession
a single tear belongs to us all
I know
I have stolen the book of wisdom
in the blackness of life
looking back
I see it all
beauty
loneliness
sad songs
beaten dreams
In a broth scolded hot
boiling all my clichés
steam fills the windows pain
but I do not see this
A burden of proof
I can no longer carry
the light switch , switched off
the stars sleep
I am your defication
I am farted galvanism
To be wiser than one's creator
Is no great source of pride.
My messed up mind draws a blank,
My motivational efforts have sank
Nothing but a chaotic stream of stagnant thoughts,
Starting a mental battle which continuously has to be fought,
Sleep deprived and mentally drained,
My eyes can’t lie they truly show there strained,
Trying to hide my psychotic state from everyone,
Even though the person I once new has most certainly gone,
The mask I choose to wear helps me hide my dispair,
From the loved ones who I feel no longer care,
The promise I once made,
Does not cause the thoughts to fade,
Depression haunts every corner of my mind,
Causing me to have cried,
It takes hold and feels like it’s tearing into your soul,
Until it finally takes its last toll,
Deeper thoughts swirl in my clouded mind,
Now Happiness seems so hard to find.
The mind is a mysterious vessel
It carries decisions and memories of yesterday but
No matter how many whiskeys, they will not disappear
It replays life altering choices
Alongside choices not made, in a whine
A stamp of regret imprinted on the brain
The only way to erase it, through death
As Sisyphus, my punishment is grueling but deserved
The ache of self-loathing is like shouldering 100 slaughtered men
The colt 45 calls louder today than normal
Its call seducing
Claiming the pestering will dissipate if only
I paint the ceiling crimson red
Oh, I think today its victorious
As the liberating barrel tastes of sweet escape
Its forces are immense and face withered resistance
Swimming thoughts fly away
Refreshing darkness comes with one, quick, pull.
I love holding you in my arms
Bodies entwined,
Breathing of life and contentment
Together
And as I hold you in my arms
I loathe
That all my mind can do-
Week in the thrall of content-
is Hold you some more.
I don’t like much poetry,
as I dislike most modern art,
there is too much fakery, even here,
in these paltry words, the effort
not living up to standards
I set for myself and others, unfairly,
but still bothersome.
On Pimple Pond
Pocked, our dreams spurt from cabin walls.
Woolen cover and cotton pillow catch
pin point boils from day breaking, like pitted glass.
White pebbled path meanders the hill’s cheek,
wet from being squeezed by nights cold hard hands,
to where set-tables will not wait our scrubs,
pastes and pleas for clarity like hot egg whites.
Yawns pop-jaws hinged under waxy ears.
We pass the lake and spit the dregs of sleep
onto her smooth glassine mask.
At the mess ladybugs rest, on pickle-surfaced leaves,
decline to fly. We arrive for breakfast.
One hundred-twenty faces come to bond
And maybe find a friend on pimple pond.
They were moments without meaning…
A soothing illusion of safety during a storm.
Well intended tokens of misplaced faith …
Tin medals commemorating saints long forgotten.
Words that became meaningless syllables…
Partial truths spun from the webs of insecurity.
Certainties revealed to be uncertainties…
A passion lost in perverse notions of chivalry.
Emotion born of need, so sure to falter…
Yet sustained by the waters of fate.
Love and loathing cupped in a tight embrace…
A silent storm raging on in the silence.
The floor scrubbed raw but still they reflect
Stains from my own mess of stupidity and regret
A contaminant leper for all to see
This holy place I should be forsaken to be
My tainted soul shown through the cracking mirrors
I do not deserve even one of your tears
This corpse is rotting from the inside out
Cries of forgiveness from my mouth so desperately shout
Evict me from this grimy house
My son asked me what self-loathing is
His home still occupied with laughter
I was taken aback by his cleanliness
I told him it gathers like dust over time
Sweep my house free of grime
Adults self-loathe their homes best
I bade him to keep his house clean
I spoke from my home in unrest
With words from a dirty hypocrite
How do I dust things so unworthy?
Aged I covet this grimy restlessness
Ushering demons to trash this nest
Self-loathing is self-destructive
It starts with a back door ajar
It ends with a house in flames
Invite you through the front door
Into these charred walls of hate?
You turn back time full of soil
You give me rest in my lazy-boy
For a lifetime I’ll make amends
Comforting fractured self-loathings
Till there is nothing left to break
Someday I won’t bang these walls
I’ll wait for you on my uncomfy couch
Hoping my son’s house stays clean
Hoping my elbow grease makes neat
When the master returns to mine
Will this residence be unoccupied?
Will it be swept clean and put in order?
Will I have a response to self-loathing?
Then I’ll be led out hand in hand
After remodeling this divided space
No longer foolish to tear a home down
i know the sound
"her"laugh,"her" voice
terr it up!
especially now.
ring ring
i know what you're thinking about.
or at least i know what you think of me.
ring ring
it's always been this way.
from the moment i changed your plans.
ring ring
when i no longer wanted to be like you.
RING RING
i see that girl. the one that you know.
RING RING
i hate her.
RING RING
SHE'S WASTE OF SPACE.
RING RING
THAT'S ALL I THINK OF HER!
RING RING
THAT'S ALL EVERY ONE THINKS ABOUT HER!
RING RING
THAT'S ALL YOU THINK OF ME!!!
RING RIN-CRACK
..............................................................................................................
...I guess my bell was always broken...
hanging there.
...with brother's and sister's
...i don't know who broke it.
maybe it was always that way.
but i know... i was the only one who could have destroyed my own voice.
...or body.
maybe we'll be tossed out.
it's because no one can remember it when it wasn't broken.
when it wasn't useless
or is it only useless to you?
since you would rather have a bell then a daughter.
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