Best Leakage Poems
A lady with a weak bladder*
Thought nothing could make her madder
But Heaven knows
Her pantyhose
Revealed a soaking-wet ladder!
*Weight gain stretches bladder muscle causing
leakage. The French strengthen bladder muscle by
blowing up balloons. The Japanese prefer sitting on
a wooden stool and repetitiously lifting their legs level
to the floor, but the quickest results are achieved by
the Manx Method developed by avid researcher Jan
Allison, which consists of standing on one's head
and farting along with the 1812 Overature!
Categories:
leakage, health, women,
Form:
Limerick
Drippy
by
samnesia.com
“He’s kept himself together”
“That boy’s kept himself in line”, they said.
But I can’t keep hurting myself
and say that I am happy.
There’s a leakage in here, somewhere
The echoes are too loud
and they make me drippy.
The inside is too damp
The leakage won’t stop dripping.
So, please do not mind me,
I’m only dying in here.
And spending New Years eve drunk off my ass
has gotten old quickly.
“He seems rather kind”
But I’m still unhappy.
The leakage will burst, someday
and I’ll be floating on a lake where I’ll die alone.
The inside will collapse
and I might not come out, alive.
Categories:
leakage, angst, confusion, sad, self,
Form:
Free verse
Boy those wheeler dealers sure work hard
just look at Ed slaving away sorting things.
First he sorts out the electrics and switches
then he turns his attention to the mechanics.
Strips out the callipers and replaces them
a new exhaust is also on the cards.
Back breaking work as he takes off bright work
and then sands it down ready for re-spray.
Off to the paint booth where its masked up,
now first a stabiliser to stop leakage.
Two coats of primer, now finally the colour
a gorgeous chocolate that really pops.
The last job is to change the wheels
back to Porsche originals chocolate coated.
Down to the track where she revs and revs
then like a race horse our Porsche flies.
Mike is well impressed at Ed's hard work
wow it is an eye stopper he cries.
A new owner to be found who will love it
Mike works his charms and so has a sale.
Yet another classic saved from the scrap heap
Our 928 Porsche is restored like new.
With a growl it eats up the roads
putting a smile on her owner's face
written 12/04/2015
contest PD and Skat's For Women Only
Categories:
leakage, car,
Form:
Verse
Mischief
M My soulmate is a miracle woman
I In Conception and in contraception
S She’s born three children one on the coil
C Condom leakage on another and
H Her first born on the oral pill
I In terms of luck that takes some beating
E Entirely normal just hormones on overdrive
F Failure at first then a blessing in disguise
F For my own natural fatherhood after
E Endless trying my ex got injections
I In reward my eldest daughter
H Her next ‘litter’ triplets from the womb
C Careless maybe another son despite the
S Sheer odds to conceive without help
I In science we may trust one way or other
M My explanation though comes through
The UNIVERSE
as HIGHER POWERS
H Heaven at Christmas though plenty of gift wrap P
I Images of congestion when all need the loo O
G Girls have more problems but we manage somehow W
H Harvest of children and kid’s crop divine E
E Enter the mischief they can all produce ever after R
R Roguish cohabitation frolicsome happiness S
02nd October 2018
Actually ‘written’ between 1992 and 2004 as this is a true story
This is my adaptation of the acrostic poetry form.
Four Stanzas:
traditional acrostic
reverse acrostic
intermezzo (subtitle)
front and end acrostic
the acrostic stanzas with double letter emphasis
Categories:
leakage, birth,
Form:
Acrostic
After a long period of time, there was an awful stench in the garage.
After ceaseless investigations, we were clueless of the origin of stink.
It smelt like dead mice, but there was no sign of any.
It smelt like gas, and we feared there might be a leak.
The Gas Utility came out; but found no sign of leakage.
Though we felt safer, I worried as the smell grew worse.
Some time ago, we discontinued using our second vehicle.
After some time, one day I pushed the vehicle into the driveway.
I do not remember the reason I moved it;
but it had nothing to do with the odor.
The vehicle was a very popular one;
The best selling SUV at one time.
We also grew older and decided that one vehicle would suffice.
So we dropped the insurance, ‘non-opted it’, and parked it in the garage.
Currently, it’s still a good and desirable vehicle.
But it was the choice of my wife; not mine
Notwithstanding, I was surprisingly pleased with it.
It became aged and began to wear with costly repairs.
One day I walked past the SUV as it sat in the driveway.
You guessed it. I smelt the same stink that was inside the garage.
The riddle was solved; the mystery was resolved; I found Mr. Stink.
He was in the radiator; I flushed and ran him out; he was forever gone.
09242016 PS Contest, Stink, Anthony Slausen
Categories:
leakage, car, goodbye, mystery, riddle,
Form:
Couplet
I am dreaming the past
Past when KBC was the only station
Each morning started with the anthem of the nation
We had to know your intention
Before saying anything through the station
Each anchor had a level of education
While talent was just an addition
Any deviation
Captured the important attention
Of the head of the nation
Dreaming my past
Is all I want to do last
Streams of dreams I rather forget fast
Like dreams from my father
That choices have consequences
A grammatical sentence that became our sentence
Is every correctly stated statement correct?
This kind that litters my mind
Making me bitter
Tearing my heart into litres of tears
These dreams make me shy
Shy to try mention my name
My name that brings me shame
Shame I cant tame
Cant tame because my mind is lame
Tell me why my kind cant cry
When all I dream are tongues of fire
From gangs on hire
With orders from higher
Higher rot that burns like fire.
Dreaming that I cant have money in my pocket
Without getting something in their jacket
Vampires so scary
Scattered in my neighborhood
Thirsty for the last drop of my blood
Limiting my limitless potential
Potential so essential
For resource mobilization
With equal allocation not hurting expectation
For relocation before suffocation.
Dreams to revitalize my generation
A possible solution for this situation
In transformation of my nation
To grow without corruption
That is like sugar
Sweeter it becomes
And disaster it welcomes
But I dare dreams
Of peaceful elections
An end to preventable infections
Through certified injections
And an education without leakage
As a privilege
For everyone in my village
Laying my head on the pillow
Feels like my heart becomes hollow
From the beams of dreams that follow
Makes me want to jump from the window
And fall on the ground so low
Flickering pain into my bone marrow
Afraid it could happen again on the morrow
What do you see in your dreams?
Streams of dreams that my head cant keep
Make me wish for beams of dreams to turn the leaf
Of people who have a resolve and a belief
That we are better together
And we need each other
Without a bother
Of clannism
Of tribalism
Of racism
But a nation of inclusion
By implementation of all legislation
In word and spirit
Envisioned in our constitution
That beams our dream.
Categories:
leakage, africa, betrayal, conflict, corruption,
Form:
Free verse
In the multitude of counsellors there is life,
Running away implies stabbing yourself with your knife.
I’m inside a cyclone, you think I should run?
You even went on to tag my stagnancy as dumbness,
I’m not a fool you know. Positioned myself in its centre
For I know that in the eye of a cyclone there’s calmness.
You feel I’m off-guard when I actually feel like I’m in a venter.
My birth canal is in the vertical, where I’m not impaired of my view
I fix mine eyes to the heavens where I know there’s my breakthrough.
In the midst of drunkards there’s sure a fog of immature diction.
Engaging means emigrating from the principle of lingual timing.
Words are powerful entities, they can unveil people’s identities.
When your mind is pixilated, the words you speak can intoxicate
Your persistent entity, your individuality. Even if it may be a while
There’s just some hostility about it and what if it compiles
In the long run, leaving your choice of words forever numb?
In a bad company is a formed aura of non-believe,
There’s a rapid leakage of faith with slim chance of retrieve.
The Bible is on point, “bad company corrupts good character”
It is said that character is the you that exists
When all are gone and you have only you in your midst.
Now think, external injections are depriving your character cells nutrients.
The torture is aimed at you, once activated there is severe suffering.
But, you'll have to bear the yoke alone when your God's desired character
Starts to haunt you!
There's fullness of joy in the presence of the Lord
And for those who really seek it, life is never really odd.
Categories:
leakage, character, faith, wisdom,
Form:
Lyric
At times like this.
When I get hot flashes.
And leakage between my thighs
I can always depend on you to take me there
To take me to a level of highness
You cleanse my body
Making my soul warm
What you do for me … no other has come close
The sounds you send out
Makes my body numb
You make my knees weak
Just hearing the words you preach
Knowing their meant just for me
So much passion you provide
In between the lines making me feel so good
So good I began to cry
My life is all about you
And I belong to only you
Sometimes I wish we could
Go on and just get married
Become one and live without others worries
Can you feel the love imp given
Because I can hear your love in the lyrics
The love you offer me
A love like this
With another doesn’t exist
Because I know of no man
Who understand me like you do
Who puts me first an the love never stops
And if others still don’t understand
Its not man I love
I’m in love with Hip-Hop
Copyright ©2008 Myishia Williams
Categories:
leakage, musicme, love, me,
Form:
Goal of the Soul – Zamreen Zarook
Mind is a sole proprietor,
It function as our accelerator,
at times it is an acceptor,
Where as regardless the matter, it is our rejecter.
Frustrations peeps as we get failed,
When tension caught , it hard to get bailed,
Depression is again a big shot when it get bundled,
It’s all because the happiness got burgled.
People often get irritation;
it’s because leakage in sophistication,
Confusion again might lead to frustration,
better, take matters simple and have some relaxation.
Happiness is the ultimate goal of every living being,
It is the greatest achievement of every human being,
Despite of whatever screen,
It is solely every once well being.
Categories:
leakage, beautiful, happiness, mirror, self,
Form:
Rhyme
Dear future wife,
Incase you wanna be in my life,
I got some irreducible minimums,
Of which you should have to maximums,
I aint making life hard for you,
But instead offering a leakage for you,
With these,life will be a success,
Joy,love,laughter will be in excess,
So my bride to be,take note.
First,am an Igweee,Yeah,I got chieftancy,
People do respect my wisdom with great fancy,
So be a role model too,imitate me,
Always help in decision making for me,
I am a man of the people,
Visitors will be many,serve them sans feeble,
Hospitality is the biggest feature,
Portray it as it will help you mature,
So my bride to be,take note.
Personally,i love Rhumba music,
Without it i just get nosic,
When bored,lure me not,
Instead,play Rhumba at a high note,
Or sing for me Fatimata,
And all will be a done matter,
I know you like pop songs,
Worry less,hubby will influence your sings,
So my bride,take note.
Bride,let your dressing be decent,
Wear dresses,pants of the recent,
Always dress spickly and span,
As this will increase our love span,
Dress not like our grandmothers,
Wear fitting,short dresses like feathers,
Am your hubby,i must enjoy,
Seeing you in sexy dresses envoy,
So my bride to be,take note.
Lastly,let respect prevail,
Early always yourself avail,
Cooks should be always tasty,
Incase you tired,call for help besty,
I will help you cook,
For marriage is a mirrored look,
Frequent outings will be a surprise,
Even after our family gets to rise,
So my bride to be,take note.
Poet Igweee
Categories:
leakage, future,
Form:
ABC
I belong to the local community
The loving home where local hearts belongs
I belong to the rich soil of the planet earth
The soil that accommodates the less privileged
It is the soil that proudly conquers every land
Soil where seeds are proud to crack out and shine
I am the daughter of the local community
The water proof of every leakage above
It is the sand soil that builds quality homes for orphans
The clay that visualise the creative minds and bring them to exposure
The cloud that rains down the drops of hope to the hopeless
Communication is the main subject to my community
Local comments are the pillars that support its empire
Communion is their strength to carry on
They intends to be communist in every battle
In their policing forum Justice is their main priority to put safety first
Community is the place where wishers become reachers of the riches
Where bitter hearts feel better when they arrive home
Because is the only foundation of the place called home
Together we can! The meaningful slogan for my community
Amandla! Awethu! The powerful words that fought for peace
Nkosi sikelela! A song for peace that protected the community and make it united forever!
Wathinta’umfazi wathinta’imbokodo! The strength of the local woman who sacrificed to build a better society for all
Siyayiqoba! And indeed we can beat it to become the over comers among other communities
Vuku’zenzele! Our pride ability to give back to our best community
The community that brewed our own democratic rights
Freedom and ability to achieve more are bred in our local soil
To become the reality of what local people are born for
I am proud of my own community where I suckled the milk of batho Pele
The pillars that hold the weakness of every household
I am proud to be born in the local community
Community where criminals are sons and daughters of our own soil
A community that always find a way to call those criminals the illustrations to demonstrate the ability of justice for all
Home where mobs are craving to attack yet minimised to eradicate the spirit of taking law into our own hands
A place where Mzansi bios kops are hosted to expose the true talents of our local hearts
I am the proud product of the local community!
Categories:
leakage, 12th grade, caregiving, celebration,
Form:
ABC
In Jesus nails I doubt but
it doesn't make me less faithful
therefore
for a gram of material glory
I'm swapping
freshly delivered Virgin Mary's proclamations
just this morning
she confirmed to me
the time of broadcasting
even though she is pissed off
because of the leakage of one of her favorite messages
which says that for earning a seat in the first row next to the altar
you have to wear a proper hat
but
in christian spirit
she gave up of criminal prosecution
only thing she ever wanted is to give people God's word
and
she did it
to the threadbare knees and questions about working hours of the Lord
within TV schedule
the prime time was given
world became televised
one big cinema screen where
everyone is trying to plug in their own scenarios
yesterday God went on holidays
so
loosed from any common sense
public opinion was divided by two pieces of a modern thought
by one was spoken a shaved truth
how is possible to be promoted by having a child
from call girl to pillar of society
by second one was brought in question an honor of favorite croatian people's hole
F*** it
in accordance with a label of nation
which is highly ranked on global moral scales
our every national debate
regularly ends with polemics about
the crotch.
raise your two fingers one that
at least once in her life didn't lay down with a pig
Categories:
leakage, humor,
Form:
Free verse
Let’s engage the minds gauge
Torque the imagination and take it hostage
Gouge the intellect with an over dosage
A ravenous binge
To my brain damage from under usage
Free the soul from bondage
Unburden emotional baggage
Forge a merge of love and rage with courage
Intoxicate paper with ink cartridge
A work of art on a page, a poetic collage
Like a soothing beverage
A poetic rampage on stage
Accumulate knowledge to reduce poundage
Of ignorance and information blockage
And salvage the tarnished image
A cerebral drainage to our disadvantage
Like the last spoken words of a dying language
A cultural power outage, a national outrage
A plague destroying a village
A confidential postage of information leakage
A sabotage of an adulterous marriage
In a society of average
That hemorrhages failure without stoppage
Skills in a shortage
The signage of a corrupt patronage
A camouflage of a failed brokerage
Education a privilege
We can use to salvage
And envisage a future of prestige
Expel garbage from the mind’s storage
Wage war with my conscience and cause this carnage
And ravage until there’s nothing left to salvage
A honesty challenge
Acknowledge my heritage
To retrace my lineage
Success a leverage
To use as excellent anchorage
A long walk of some mileage from a dark age
To pay homage to Mandela an iconic sage
And impart a message
As I indulge you with a poetic massage
Categories:
leakage, education, poetry, society,
Form:
Rhyme
SOLARIUM SIDEWINDERS
introverted
hermit crabs
share cavities
appeased in their
shielded double
sanctuaries
solariums of solitude
misplaced platitudes
humoring normalcy
with crustaceous
pet mentality
prisoners of exposé
unventilated cage
soft pink lungs
dried out sponge
obligatory needs
waterdearth
disclosure
solarium sidewinders
discharge
leakage and seepage
exposure
losing all sheltered
composure
© Kim van Breda—28 December 2015
Categories:
leakage, irony, senses,
Form:
Free verse
When you've met your match
there is nothing you can do
but stare them in their eyes
and dare them to attack
Your frantically beating heart
is the only answer you can
manage to send them back
You play it cool on the outside
But in the back of your mind
you know that your finished
Just one look in their direction
causes massive leakage and
your hearts resolve to diminish
Categories:
leakage, life
Form:
Free verse