Best Laughingstock Poems
Farcical, extravagant
My birthmark is a scar
A speckled blotch ...
A spot of pox
An icon from afar
I'm an upstart, I'm an eyesore
Ranting with a flair
In a tempest, I'm a rabid bird
Setting fire to the air
As dauntless as a hellhag
Unmoved by love or care
I can hold up in a cyclone
Feasting on your fear
I'm your last hope
As a laughingstock
I'm your courage in a dare
As audacious as a terrorist
With death-defying hair
When it's time to play the tragic fool
I'm as flagrant as a glare
Seething with a vengeance
In a tantrum of despair
Written by © Raven Drake
Categories:
laughingstock, parody, philosophy, symbolism,
Form:
Rhyme
Every poet on this site fill up your cup and throw your hands in the air.
It's gonna be an entertaining night, so sit back and watch this poetic warfare!
This could be just a one-sided fight, but it will be entertaining all the same.
So as I destroy this poetic parasite, all you soupers chant my damn name!
O. K. P. D.., here's some slam poetry, and my sentences will put you in a poetic headlock!
How dare you think you can compete with me! Girl, I'm the Poetic Warlock!
Each exclamation mark is like a thousand stingers, so what cha think of that?!
You're not in my ballpark, so you can get the middle finger as I walk over you like a doormat!
Each stanza is more diabolical than the last, so put your finger between your legs, scratch
and sniff!
I'm putting you in a body cast, so you better beg before I throw you over that poetic cliff!!
Souper's have no fear, I'm ending P.D.'s poetic career, so you take your poems throw em in
a waste basket!
I was hired to make you disappear, by putting the final nail in your wooden casket!!!
Oops, catching fire, there goes my notepad; Someone turn down my pen's thermostat!
I will not tire, like bombs over baghdad; so how is P. D. suppose to compete with that?
Every souper knows I'm the badest, so how dare you try to compete!
And Nate will be the sadest, because P.D.'s heart I've come to eat!!
I'm raining this poetic assault like raindrops, and you're now the Soup Laughingstock.
Just stop; you can't conquer my mountain top! I'm the Poetic Warlock!!!
Categories:
laughingstock, dedication, fantasy
Form:
Verse
Do you want to have a baby?
I'll give you a definite maybe.
Babies can cry and scream so loud.
Three in one house can make a small crowd.
I hope I'm not clearly misunderstood,
just unsure I'm ready for fatherhood.
You and I may be old jalopies,
but we suffice - original copies.
We could be relaxing on the grass,
not changing diapers of liquid gas.
Wait, it's time for you to cop a plea
in what seems a tragic comedy.
I never knew, when I started kissing,
your birth control pills had been found missing.
It seems that your little pill pack
has been fully empty - pills, it does lack,
and it's an open secret on the block
that I've become a laughingstock,
and I suppose you're thinking, honey,
that this is seriously funny.
Nine months later, she said smugly,
it can't be yours, you're pretty ugly.
Categories:
laughingstock, baby, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
On the hardwood court, they don't play very well.
Their shooting and defense really look like hell.
They have been piling up the losses this season.
Mediocre play has been the ultimate reason.
For their game tickets, I will pay no money.
The team's management must not think it is funny.
This squad is the laughingstock of the NBA.
Perhaps they will get their act together someday.
Categories:
laughingstock, basketball,
Form:
Rhyme
Ole Poppycock said the British clock maker.
While setting his alarm clock which was the building block
of his foundation.He purchased penny stock at four o'clock
and future stock on Wall Street today.
Ole Poppycock said the Dutch soda drink maker.
George Washington did not cut down the Cherry Tree.
He placed a cuckoo clock under the chopping block,
and becasue of a culture shock purchased New York Common stock,
at the stock exchange today.
Ole Poppycock said the British Law Maker.
You're only trying to make me the laughingstock of London.
Place your pig's belly on the butcher-block,and play me some acid rock,
before we experience another earthquake aftershock.
Sign your John Hancock and be on your way.
Nonsense Poetry by Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 2016..ALL rights reserved.
Categories:
laughingstock, humor, nonsense, satire,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
Understandable... the sensible
(three ringed circuitous) logic
to trumpet necessity
each individual moost heed
bedecking, cloaking donning,
ludicrous interloper facial covering,
(I prefer sporting
latest custom made
invisible máscaras faciales),
when commingling amidst madding crowd,
nevertheless coronavirus (COVID-19)
makes laughingstock kickstarting
maniacal paranoid testing yapping
authoritarians blabber ceaselessly
bleak household pandemic
plagues (sear ring)
robust human specimen,
hence yours truly,
a feckless (gibbon) primate
breathes sigh of relief,
why? cuz he counts himself insignificant
absolute zero worth
versus microscopic prickly orb
aging long haired pencil neck geek
best beat hasty retreat
to his man cave
not necessarily avoiding microbial denizen,
yet any potential suffering
scouting out troubadour woefully
jackknifed inept hideaway
availed no choice
rolls out Harris tweed Scottish matt
courtesy minuscule germ man
greeting me with gotcha!,
I willingly surrender
the only thing at stake iz my life,
which would immediately
ebb fate (mine),
automatically buzzfeed chap
offer no chance
for symbiotic relationship
as pathogens indeed choreograph
(dirty deed done dirt cheap)
loft hilly doth waft
through cellular skeins comprising
garden variety/ generic gent
herewith essentially crafting
his poetic epitaph
before onset disables,
disallows, and disvalues
one humble, intelligent, jesting
kindhearted, literate, modest
nincompoop aimlessly adrift
within Brownian movement
(*****sapiens random motions
viewed miles skyhigh)
ostentatious, piteous, querulous,
ridiculous, superfluous, et cetera,
thus forward donations
and/or pledge
(I promise you -
swear to dog
portion of me ashes)
to favorite charity
and will hoop to visit thee as repurposed
noun, verb, adjective, adverb, pronoun,
preposition, conjunction, interjection,
numeral, article, or determiner...
Categories:
laughingstock, 12th grade, caregiving, heaven,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
The sun dappled patio
irresistibly beckoned
pillowed pad to bedeck
cement spongsbob
square pant sized couch cushions
leapt into field of view
as a posse able a gent
provocateurs silently
conspiring as from
azure heavenly vault sent
thus busying mine hands created
simple bed to cradle this loner meant
as temporary escape from cares
and concerns of uncertain world rent
asunder by craven, frenzied, intractable,
lamentable, offal, rogues hell bent
on up-ending peaceful co-existence
across terrestrial plane where decent
folks (including this writer) live
to enjoy simple pleasures
donned with raiment
acquired thrift-store or yard sale couture
affordable dollar, quarter or cent
thus bagged belongings
comprise wardrobe
since personal preference
to expand content
of body, mind, and spirit triage
in tandem drinking warmth
of solar rays event
like manna to this *****Sapiens,
who when basking
pondered where time went
and on picture perfect summer day
pastoral symphony of nature lent
removed bifocals
to let photons of el sol
this archetype
laughingstock wannabe
of Clark Kent
unaware spouse surreptitiously
snuck up perhaps
to steal a kiss or other pent
up animalistic call of the wild,
which elements of huss style
anathema to a convent
where such nun sense
would be abominable,
but secular mores fervent,
especially when
weather fires imagination
as witnessed by 59+ year spent
mortal male oblivious
to presence of wife
until she planted buttocks and bent
bifocals camouflaged
by matted materiel of a fold-up
metal chair which accent
of Gluteus Maximus crushed
side of frame wear
sole pair of spectacles dent
dislodging right side lens thus
to see in sharp focus
cheeky fate did prevent.
Categories:
laughingstock, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Free verse
Ok, this is gonna be a poetic airstrike, like it was over Baghdad.
I've been told my slams are god-like, and dakarai, you're being slayed on my writing
pad!
I've done ripped out your heart, now I'm removing your guts.
I'm blowing your whole being apart, but first, take this upper cut!
I want you to feel my poetic blow, but you should not be in this ring.
So soupers, witness this poetic TKO, and I'm giving P.D. back her g-string!
That's right dakarai, I'm the soup playboy, just ask your girlfriend.
I had her bobbing her head with joy, but that was after I put something up her rear-
end!
When I'm done with you, you're gonna need one helluva band-aid.
I'm gonna beat you black and blue, then force feed you my poetic grenade!
dakarai you're a sneaky rat, who lurks in the shadows of this site.
My poetic gun goes rat-a-tat-tat, so take that, you poetic parasite!
What can you say about me? I'm on the "Top 50 best poets" list!
But I'm taking this beyond poetry, so here's my right fist!
Feel my raging energy, as I pop you like a cyst!
Don't go looking for P.D., she doesn't even exist!
I destroyed her whole identity, and now I will focus solely on you.
You'll soon see, I'm a demonic entity, and I'm kicking your ass like Kung Fu!
I'm not even taking a breath, have you had enough yet?
I will haunt you even after death, I see you're starting to sweat!
dakarai you've become my footstool, and I'm watching the sunset.
I'm making you look like a fool, and burning your ass with my cigarette!
Take this poetic dynamite, and boy don't you ever forget.
This isn't a pretty site, I have the sex tape of your mom on videocassette!
Ding, ding, it's the end of round two, I'll let you digest this.
Your poetry is pure doo-doo, and my next slam will throw you into the abyss!!!!
Note: dakarai cobb had enough yet, or do you continue ? Want to be the soup
laughingstock?
Categories:
laughingstock, dedication, fantasy, slam
Form:
Couplet
My Dream Woman
Teresa this silky brown woman her breasts surged upward
seeking the heavens. Her hair, a cascade of ebony, reached
to the small of back and down there, between voluminous
thighs a honeycomb of lustre, not given freely to any bee
that passed her way.
She called me a blond Viking – I´m bald now- and we sailed to
St. Lucia to meet her parents. Wedding an no expenses were
spared, but then disaster struck and I had leave.
When I returned Teresa had married am engineer, and I said:
how come you could do this to me?
Her answer was simple, the wedding was set and If the groom
didn't show up, she would be a laughingstock on the Island...
and that is why I never married and still is a bachelor forever
looking for a woman like Teresa.
Categories:
laughingstock, humor,
Form:
Blank verse
I ain't gonna brag, boast, blab...,
lest yours truly suffers demise from backstab,
resignedly taking wheel of our automobile
donning, (but NOT trumpeting)
role as taxi cab
shuttling the missus, (she effusively glad)
to medical appointment
me, the obliging husband
in order for this mister former cad,
debt, now an ordinary dude dad,
who upon snaking, crab
like sighing, shimmying, scooching...
thru bumper to (rubber
baby buggy) bumper drab
morning commute, which
snail's pace spurred shoutout, via ab
dom men null controlled app
designed by A. Habb,
which homonym identical
sound of descendent, sans faint jab,
asper fictitious Capt'n of Pequod
at sea vis a vis
if forced to snatch macadam landgrab
all the while aye spent gab
bing maintaining mindful outlook
for aggressive drivers,
whose cold icy stare
felt akin to painful jab
methought best not to "flip the bird"
subsequently get rushed
to emergency medical lab
avoided, cuz aye hapt tubby vigilant
for brazen drivers, plus additionally
keeping keen eye for police ready to nab
speed demons (mailer or female) even nawab
receiving citation for traffic infraction
and if repeat offender sent to rehab
with license revoked,
nonetheless a slight stab
of anxiety as appointment time elapsed
indicated by built in digital clock
no matter arriving after 7:45 am time
my de facto role as chauffeur,
the wife would disfrock,
but fortunately excuse, sans gridlock
did not necessitate need
us to return at later date, thus no knock
kin wind out figurative sails, hence
circumstance did not
find me laughingstock,
thus any consideration, asper myself
resorting to quaffing hemlock
unnecessary honorable sacrifice,
that versus engaging in lethal warlock
additionally compromising private uber
to give spouse coveted lyft.
Categories:
laughingstock, adventure, allusion, appreciation, environment,
Form:
Enclosed Rhyme
So long, Spicy ...
sho’ hate to see you go
You were the best comic relief in the PT carnival
Prez Trump sez he don’t need you no mo’
So you publicly resigned
after getting the private heave-ho
So long, Spicy ...
it sho’ was fun having you around
The way you spun those alternative facts
was so crazy clumsy cool
How you and Kellyanne would go on the attack,
then backtrack from the shark press pool
Y’all were some kinda funny,
reverse moon-walking laughingstock fools
Now Kooky Kellyanne is still here, and you’re gone —
that just ain’t right, it’s so wrong
So long, Spicy ...
I’m gonna play another
Saturday Night Live sad, satirical song
Me and the ghetto gang is sho’ gonna miss you
when you’re gone
(Mr. Robin Harris and BeBe kids will too)
But before you leave,
do me a favor willya please ...
tip your jilted jester cap
to the smiling PT freak show,
and give a dour derriere frown,
to the Inepters running this clown carnival
Categories:
laughingstock, fun, humor, satire, truth,
Form:
Light Verse
This guy declared I will knock
At your door even if I become a laughingstock.
I am thankful you live on the first floor
I don't want to cause an uproar
Or send you in to shock.
I feel we have interlocked.
I am like a male peacock
Declaring my love to whom I adore.
He declared I will knock
Furthermore according to my clock
I have been out here an hour waiting for you to
Turn the lock.
I implore
You please to open the door.
Hello! There jock. Your girlfriend lives on the
Next block.
Why don't you go over there and knock.
Categories:
laughingstock, cute, funny, girlfriend, hilarious,
Form:
Rondeau
The new 950-ton bridge would beat
down time dashing to classes cheat
ting vulnerability asper thick traffic
putting life at risk,
thus laudatory alternative
intending to offer Sweetwater
to last a lifetime would make fleet
(installed at Florida International University,
with eager pedestrians ready to greet
crossing grand opening,
where local dignitaries didst meet
viz Miami-Dade County
Saturday (March eleventh 2018)
witnessing ghastly collapsed
Thursday (March fifteenth 2018)
afternoon onto Southwest Eighth Street.
An unknown number
of fatalities surmised,
while several others
were hospitalized.
Prior to groundbreaking
with placement guised
of the attendant pomp
and circumstances exercised
setting cornerstone,
the projected
general estimation apprised
sans building costs totaled $14.2 million
and funded as part of a $19.4 million grant
from the US Department of Transportation.
The fact sheet boasted the sheer intensity
comparable to withstand strength of a
category 5 hurricane, and supposed to last
for more than 100 years.
Within the blink of an eye, no ifs ands,
nor abutments squared with ratiocination
earning civil engineers bragging rights,
which boastful, delightful, fanciful stead
fastness touted thwarting titanic tenable
taxing shocked Katrina and the waves.
Now only a scattered pile (formerly comp
rising beams footings, and piers) of rein
forced concrete capped with a bent ele
ment defying hallelujahs, karaoke kudos,
and bobble headed nods,
now impish jinns keep leering, mocking,
and naysaying to fading echoing reverberations
leveled at the laughingstock of an architectural
(duff) feat. Further scrutiny will attempt to cap
chore structural weaknesses. Amidst snapped,
crackled, and popped strewn cables entwined girders
(whose premature destruction) will also warrant
any arresting tell tale signs of unusual stress.
Categories:
laughingstock, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
True add verse situation,
whereat me mission
trans send dint state didst ache
after yours truly nearly
did nearly break
chassis 'pon took drastic
over corrective measure,
not quite August,
nor jejune piece of cake,
while rounding raised
curbed contra corner
suddenly felt wrath of wife quake,
viz passenger rear tire
gone flat as a pancake
impresario found myself
hearing Thus Spake,
Zarathustra, when in truth...
twas ma constricted trach.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Some weeks back
acting so cool and chic - bank
king all bravado, machismo
self importance, and frank
lee babbling like a cripple creek
off by a black key with Hank
Williams tune imagining
myself swaggering like a lank
key trump petting Don
(feigning faw being "Beefy") plank
walking lampoon able
laughingstock Freaky, thank
less as a lapsed worn eraser head
pencil necked Geek yank
key doodle dandy hood be
forced to do penance as cap
pit dull leotarded asinine
arthouse flop, where nary any words
(worth their weight in gold)
described my benign
behavior, NOT even
smattering of unflattering deign
nig grating hammock colorful expletives,
that would find an ensign
sailor to blush at my inept
shameless travesty over the line
utter in apropos totally tubularly
moronic juvenile mine
ness zero car raze zee antics,
didst drive my doppelganger nine
tee bajillion miles away in search
of another auto body – pine
ning for newer model
then a 2009 Hyundai Sonata sign
ning off contract with this
stunt driver wannabe
unimpressively try'n
to act the blithe dare devil,
while thee spouse didst wine
and scream more'n bloody Mary
as the gunned axle nearly broke
trying my damn nest to
"FAKE" dagger a type cloak
his husband resembled a fool,
where angels fear to tread didst evoke
unsuccessful, unstinting, and unsparing
unstrung epithets of colorful expletives
unsuitable for poetic folk
boot urgent prayer went out
to incredible Hulk
Hogan, and/or even the ghost
of Andre The Giant, this haint no joke!
Categories:
laughingstock, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Free verse
Business trips hold unexpected traps.
Deception lurks with the lures
to see what lies within
the unwary travelers’ lapse.
He pays the price for current cures
while ignoring the true cost of sin.
Finished. He moves on. Returns home.
The respected family man…
Until the news reaches him…
She sinned. Her belly’s a dome.
In self-righteous anger, he does what he can.
He calls forth judgment – an act so grim.
She had waited so long for justice to come.
Her plan worked, but not quite…
She must have known when she went that day…
Had she evaluated each point and the sum?
Would she die to remove the family blight?
He examined the tokens offered in lieu of pay.
He could have denied her testimony,
and declared her evidence stolen.
held his ground before all in sight.
He could have damned her, if only…
Set-up. Targeted. Deceived. His emotions molten.
Locked gazes. He declared her right.
What did it cost him? What did others say?
just a businessman travelling from home.
just a lustful man, not wanting to be a laughingstock…
a powerful man who chose that day
to let truth, examine his life, and comb
through each aspect till he became a humble rock.
*reflecting on Genesis 38
Categories:
laughingstock, business, desire, forgiveness,
Form:
Rhyme