Driving Thru Rat Race Maze

I ain't gonna brag, boast, blab..., lest yours truly suffers demise from backstab, resignedly taking wheel of our automobile donning, (but NOT trumpeting) role as taxi cab shuttling the missus, (she effusively glad) to medical appointment me, the obliging husband in order for this mister former cad, debt, now an ordinary dude dad, who upon snaking, crab like sighing, shimmying, scooching... thru bumper to (rubber baby buggy) bumper drab morning commute, which snail's pace spurred shoutout, via ab dom men null controlled app designed by A. Habb, which homonym identical sound of descendent, sans faint jab, asper fictitious Capt'n of Pequod at sea vis a vis if forced to snatch macadam landgrab all the while aye spent gab bing maintaining mindful outlook for aggressive drivers, whose cold icy stare felt akin to painful jab methought best not to "flip the bird" subsequently get rushed to emergency medical lab avoided, cuz aye hapt tubby vigilant for brazen drivers, plus additionally keeping keen eye for police ready to nab speed demons (mailer or female) even nawab receiving citation for traffic infraction and if repeat offender sent to rehab with license revoked, nonetheless a slight stab of anxiety as appointment time elapsed indicated by built in digital clock no matter arriving after 7:45 am time my de facto role as chauffeur, the wife would disfrock, but fortunately excuse, sans gridlock did not necessitate need us to return at later date, thus no knock kin wind out figurative sails, hence circumstance did not find me laughingstock, thus any consideration, asper myself resorting to quaffing hemlock unnecessary honorable sacrifice, that versus engaging in lethal warlock additionally compromising private uber to give spouse coveted lyft.