Best Inoperable Poems
For once this is not fiction
Can you change the past?
I yearn to,
But on condition I carry with me
All that I have learned.
But you cannot change the past.
Still, I yearn for a bottle
Of chilled white wine Chablis.
Delicious on the palette,
Exquisite with rice and plenty of seafood.
The aroma of truffled sauce, the razor clams,
The pinkish prawns and open-wide oysters.
It is my delight.
I yearn for silence, away from rife,
The sounds of cars crashing, the boom of guns,
The killing of innocent people.
I yearn for peace.
I yearn to travel as I used,
For I visited half of Europe
And ventured to Brazil.
Now I’m Island bound and
Travel is no more.
You look good, they say.
But only on the outside.
I yearn for health inside:
The small inoperable cancer,
Kept in check by implants
With bouts of depression
That twice I deleted my poetry site.
Good thing I kept copies of my writings.
But my heart is weak after
Twenty years when I had a triple bypass.
My right eye has the beginning of a cataract,
My left knee needs a replacement
But with Diabetes 2 no operation can be done.
I yearn for my wife.
Seven years I still grieve for her.
She’s in Heaven now.
I yearn for my beloved Lord.
The creator of all.
I pray He takes care of me.
May He grant me a happy death.
And may the Rose of Sharon help me too.
And I walk
across numerical figments
speaking hyperbole dialect to their imaginations.
Numb, blocky gaps
whisper invitation to secret club.
Enticing my stature
to belong
to become exponent’s side-kick.
So they can welcome me with open arms.
Coating my digits with inoperable tumors
double-knotted in hot pink laced bow
and baby-breath scent.
They even left a Walmart Rollback smiley face sticker
with crack residue on right cheek
and a comic-style bubble caption, “welcome home puppet”.
Yes!
This is exactly how Mother 1 told me it would be.
Kinda like marriage,
but less detail-oriented.
But, I could never fit in.
For I am neither positive
nor negative
about their (cult) ural ways.
Timing would always be off.
An arm from the clock that suffered a stroke at Midnight…
They’d never understand,
how they’d alter this unevenly, odd numerical figment.
For they’ll just calculate,
deduce,
my sum with rusty protractor.
This Zero, into a fraction...
© Drake J. Eszes
My mom was a strong woman, and stubborn too,
Yet she had a soft side, between me and you.
That side she would show, when you least expected,
But let me tell you, she was well respected.
Mom was quite unique, and was one of a kind,
She was set in her ways, so keep that in mind.
The youngest of nine, she had gotten her way,
Spoiled by her siblings’, almost every day.
Right out of high school, she had married my dad,
Blessed with three children, plus fifty years they had.
They both were hard workers, in all that they did,
My dad taught himself, from when he was a kid.
My mom was a smoker, for forty-six years,
Some day it would happen, she’d face all her fears.
Lung cancer she had, and inoperable too,
Her time on this earth, would be shortened we knew.
Radiation and Chemo, had done their thing,
Remission set in, tears of joy it did bring.
We would go out at night, to shop and to talk,
I knew she enjoyed, getting out for a walk.
Two years had gone by, after Thanksgiving Day,
Her pain had returned, but was afraid to say.
She’d lie on the couch; it was strength she did lack,
We knew in our hearts, that the cancer came back.
We shared lots of laughter, but many a tear,
I tried to assure her, she’d nothing to fear.
“Please watch over your dad, this one thing I ask.”
“I know it will be, quite a difficult task.”
One morning in March, Hospice called us to say,
You may want to come, for she’s slipping away.
For the night before, mom told me to stay home,
“Be there for your kids, you can call me by phone.”
When we all arrived, for a moment she woke,
Her eyes said it all, not a word had she spoke.
We stayed by her bedside, just holding her hand,
“It’s time to let go mom, we all understand”.
A few days had passed, not ready to let go,
For it had been raining, but letting up slow.
The sun began shining, the clouds disappeared,
Opening the heavens, for mom’s time has neared.
We gathered together, her forehead we kissed,
Whispering so softly, how much she’d be missed.
“Your time has arrived mom, just follow the light”,
She left us so peaceful, she gave up her fight.
It was time to drive home, in the car we got,
Then something had happened, while leaving the lot.
Huge drops of rain falling, it had to be fate.
They were tears of joy; she was at heaven’s gate.
Hideous cancer chisels away
With strange tragic sculpturing
And exposes dark flaws
heavy and black:
Inoperable, they say.
Ever present cigarette
Tenaciously supported
By shaking hand
and unfaltering need
Moved toward fried death
As wrenching cough spewed
Fire in weakened lungs.
A machine by the bed
Connected to tubes,
She wavers between
Sleep and reality
Fighting to hear
The voices around her.
You thought you had a hold on me?
You thought right, you did have a hold on me
You thought letting you go would break me?
You thought right, it did break me
You made me miserable
It was always about you, you self-centred selfish son of a…..!
My thoughts always occupied by your beauty
Mission in my life was to satisfy your needs
Your caring for me was camouflage
You made me lose my balance
Caught me off guard
Longed for your attention
I blame my naïve little self
How blinded I was from your abuse
Your ability to speak harsh words to me and not flinch?
Not listening to me and always wanting something from me?
Change has emanated
I embrace difference, I am different
My step conveys swag uncontrollable
Confidence oozing out of my pores
Beauty beholding me with no regrets
I hold my head up high
Take a bow
Witness the inauguration of a Queen
Powerful, strong and not afraid to exercise her authority
I can feel it
I am forgetting you
You unapologetic, doleful, egotistical, self-aggrandizer, inoperable, ugly son of a ……!
Forget you man
Oh by the way, I bet your mama has a loud bark!
How should I describe this empty?
So that you may wake from this slumber
With my words,
As some magic kiss.
It is far more deep, and tender
then any other wound.
You
Who had stretched tenderness,
The ability to believe,
Over my once
Inoperable fear
Of forever.
You
Covered me
In a definitive reply to a puzzle
That had never seemed to make sense.
And you
Borrowed from my well of dreams,
In hopes to fill our bellies
With waters less dark
And wanting.
So tell me before you go,
One last time before you go
How should I fill this empty?
This lack of me now,
This lack of
You?
the sun plays hide and seek with the clouds
sometimes it shines with full brightness then
like a lightbulb that has expired
loses it's brilliance...
insects,create their own brand of music
click...click...click...
all around is quiteness-
you can even hear your own breathing.
the day is almost over
the sun is getting tired with it's plays,
starting to set...saying goodbye
and suddenly-
your shadow exist behind me
white and black-like a smoke.
it is not easy to get rid of the pains.
inoperable.incurable.
seems destined to stay.
i lost my jenny...
WHY...JENNY?
Please tell me why we didn't get our happily ever after?
I fell for you hard, it was love at first sight
As our love grew you became my everything
We were inseparable and all was right
Every day you caused my heart to sing
Please tell me why we didn't get our happily ever after?
We got married almost a year after we met
I loved you so much, I wanted to bear your kids
You introduced me to watching the sunset
I often think of a house full of grandkids
Please tell me why we didn't get our happily ever after?
I thought it was your witty sense of humor
Because of the funny faces that you made
We found out you had an inoperable brain tumor
You're not here, and your place I would trade
Please tell me why we didn't get our happily ever after?
3-9-17
Alexis Y.
All Eagles!!
There is a time in everyone’s life when Mother Eagle throws you out of the nest and either you fly or die,
All Eagles!!
There are times in your life where those closest to you make you feel like the worst person ever born.
All Eagles!
When you feel yourself plummeting to the ground at ever increasing speed and the only future you feel is your body splattered on the ground.
All Eagles!
When you lose all of your faculties and feel like there are little creatures crawling around in your body,
All Eagles!
When you are diagnosed with terminal and inoperable Cancer.
All Eagles!
When your spouse divorces you for your closest friend, and you have to see the two of them once a week as custody alternates,
All Eagles!
When the investors of your startup all decide to pull out, and the electric company threatens to turn your lights off if you don’t pay the utility bill,
All Eagles!
When you are plummeting to the ground, assured that your demise is upon you.
Feel it!
Experience it!
Be discouraged!
Be afraid!
This is natural!
But as you descend, and after you have mourned and grieved appropriately,
Reach within yourself and find this message:
“Little Eagle, I know that I seem like a cruel God to let you experience this.
But I have a plan.
This is not the end for you.
You were destined to fly.
But you are an Eagle, and before you fly you must fall,
You must fall with terrifying speed,
And you must feel like all is lost,
And when you let go of everything you thought you wanted out of life,
And you say to me, “God what’s next?”
That’s when you will feel the strength to spread your wings and sore!!
Little Eagle, I know it seems like there isn’t much more that you can try,
But don’t give up,
Because death is not your destiny,
You are created to fly!
Now do so!!”
What is this Evil
Growing inside me?
Who gave it legs and
Permission to feed,
On this - my own life….
Why can’t I cut
This evil out?
Why can’t I bleed
Fountains of youth?
I cry tears,
anguished pain;
Yet nothing…
Nothing
Can save
…me.
(written August 19,2008 as a result of learning of my mother in laws inoperable lung cancer.)
She looks down at the world
All around at her feet,
With a look that beckons
With a calm presence
Undemanding
But she is not meek,
She can thrill you
Start a fire,
She is a ruckus
Low on the radar
Stealth trouble
With a face that permeates
Through all emotions;
Renders you inoperable
Subdued
Leaving you clueless,
What just went down?
You want to know
Why you cannot frown
This is her mirage,
When you look again
She is no more
Like a mist;
But you know she was real...
Affliction fiercely force foreigners out of the nation ..
Citizen set sight to the sovereign one above..
The ones on earth becomes earthworms eating our happiness and paying it with extreme hardship..
Their heart is ganished with fallacy..
Things becomes stale
Redesiged of naira note knocked down citizens to their knees, the current status with sadness to all ..
Means of exchange becomes unexchangeable..
You can't trade with your own money..
No currency in circulation..
The situation is a sign not to sink to their sinful scoops ..
Chaos in Nigeria to Nigerians, naira inoperable..
Lamentations and lack with shortages..
Commodity sold out not.. community cursed with conflicts..
Common man commune with costly chastisement..
Gnashing of teeth to the nation..
Needles to the throats without a Voice just void..
Politians can't vouch for themselves no more..
They campaign with their camp corrupted..
Their corruptible tongue utter only fallacy..
All parties pathway lead to doom to the dying nation...
No saviour to save the saddest nation...
Politics is a mind games to make money and invest in family's name and neglect National plea..
We are just a shackles in the sacks of solitudes...
We are just slaves in our own land without services to served..
We are just Sheeps without a shepherd ...
We are Pupils without a qualified teacher to teach..
All the candidates are without the criteria to cast out the casket caused by the rulling party...
We're ruled by incompetent ageing general..
The incomings don't deserve our sweat to vote..
The same boat boarded them all...
Our Voices is void to their visionary..
We are just but valuable to their cause..
So life continue to be harder...
We hide in shambles in our shade..
Our shadows walk us not..
Its been disposed for it can't find our feet nor postures..
We walk the path with the unrighteous in power..
The elite light their lights to the layman..
To lay his arrow and bow to their cause..
So their cause consumed all with their corruptions..
And now!! Our country is conflicted without a cure.....
there is this vendor on the corner
where the girl with the inoperable brain tumor used to sit
she loved to tell her stories about the characters in the room of her mind
she would read to the vendor with her uniquely sloppy handwriting
the vendor was amazed at the depths her imagination took him
she was not a prodigy of any kind
she was just a little girl with ideas
that inoperable brain tumor did not matter
then today came
i told said vendor today that the little girl with the active imagination died last night
the vendor just smile slightly and thanked me.....and then pulled out this book
i forgot that i had to leave
the little girl's brain lives on in that book
thank you, Little Miss Ray-Anna, Peace Be With You All-Ways....
O Sweet poem
Wielder of undisclosed tales
Conqueror of unyielding hearts
Comforter of inoperable minds
Consoler of inconsolable souls
Utterer of the most unutterable dictions,
You have kept secrets for poets
In the deepest corners of your heart
I implore you,
Keep a secret for me!
With your soporific charm
You have softened hearts of gallant men.
You have won beautiful maidens for Kings.
You have spoken for the mutest lovers
You have reconciled the irreconcilable
O Sweet poem
Keep one more secret for me.
With your powerful allure
You have heated the coldest of hearts
You have reached unattainable horizons
You have opened the tightest doors
No secret is too sacred for you to keep
I pray keep a secret for me.
Mesmerized by phantasmagorical flames
brandishing cerise, fuchsia
and crimson-colored
tongues of fire;
I marvel at the beauty of the beast.
I see the chard smoldering underbelly
of the flames, cloaked
in bellowing blankets of thick smoke;
its flames lapping at the coating of hope
someone had amply applied to their dream home.
I hear the glass windows
screaming as the broken panes
shatter the illusion of a quiet death;
and the house, no longer a home, crumbles.
I witness irreplaceable memories
melt like plastic soldiers
stationed at the gates of hell;
with little chance of rescue or survival.
I smell the acrid stench of fear
clinging to the hopelessness
of a devastated family;
like an inoperable cancer
that has metastasized.
I grasp the stark reality that confronts me;
and a tear trickles down my cheek.