Best Husbandly Poems

Poem revised Memorial Day May 30th, 2022 at 1500 hours

Flagrante delict adulterous sordid behavior 
automatically linkedin with Lothario;
an unscrupulous seducer of women, 
based upon a character 
in The Impertinent Curious Man, 
a story within a story 
in Miguel de Cervantes' 
1605 novel, Don Quixote. 

Hard...

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My thoughts came up again
Like the rush of a heavy a rain
My finger tips swollen with symbols
Drained in paints of inspired constructs.

I have seen a poison bought cheaply
And kills in a twinkle done twinkly
I have seen of a massacre done
A man under this sun.

I know...

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How quiet it is without video sounds---
Zelda on hunt or Star Wars rounds,
either on Nintendo, Playstation 2,
games that she all played, that is true. 
I haven’t stepped on magnetix lately,
tripped on laundry left behind hasty,
no late-night chats from the boys’ room
or piles of crumbs awaiting...

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He’s a married man who lost his job,
During a depressed economic time;
Willing to do laborious work around your house -
Any kind of odd job he can find.

The kind of things a husband normally would do,
For women who lived without a man;
He could come over and...

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Bedlam and mayhem in the mistress's boudoir

Nsync with variations on a theme:
of drool worthy Reuben Sandwich
(consisting of corned beef, 
Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, 
Russian dressing between slices 
of rye bread that is grilled 
until the bread is crispy 
and the cheese melts)
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious...

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When we were both fifteen, I jumped on your Cadillac’s hood and scratched the hell out of it as only a
dancing teenage girl could do.
I remember you watching me with sparkly hazel eyes, as if I was a pet, and you were so proud that...

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Thru deliberate seductive
liaisons, ploys, and underhanded gambits,
I tendered illicit, explicit and complicit shenanigans
blatant actions to foment coital adulteration.

Ofttime these discrete liaisons found me removing 
linkedin metallic keepsake symbolizing union.

Years elapsed since this spouse pledged his troth,
he sported husbandly marital vows courtesy
monogrammed nondescript ring.

Impossible mission prevails...

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How boot a mud pie for the birthday girl?
(yes, that would be the snoozing missus,
hook lames to need mooch beauty sleep),
hence who might not arise for bajillion years.

Thou me noggin forced to remember
how me heart used to ache
asper in no help
to relieve anticipatory anxiety
doth suddenly...

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She says she doesn’t
Doesn’t believe it
Love is impossible

Everyman she’s dated
All minds were deflated
All they want to do is bump and grind
You can read between the lines 
You really know what I mean

Sexual gratifications
Never a vacation
All they want to do is bump and grind
You know what...

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I crowned the write full missus "champ paean practical joker"

The following moniker “innocent prankster” 
awarded, hashtagged, and qualified wife
as trickster de jure appended 
to alluded spouse 
(then of twenty five plus years),
when she pulled a doozy ruse
upon me innocent gullibility
approximately eighteen months ago,
which aftertaste still...

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Mild dystopian cracks open 
cobwebbed laden figurative door 
to my super charged 
subconscious shrouded self - 
portal carelessly left ajar
steeped in dark shadows, 

wherein spooky monsters creep 
along edge of night, 
outer limits of twilight zone 
serve as makeshift restraining: bar
21st century alchemist busily massages...

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Bedlam and mayhem in the mistress's boudoir

(Nsync with variations on a theme:
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious escapades)
mostly I did merrily wet
whet madness aye ever did dream.)

The missus personal trappings
strewn helter skelter
every perilous step fraught
with danger analogous
riding as passenger
with death cab for cutie
'course thy quasi bohemian...

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How to attach a shower curtain...

I revisit rather than write from scratch
a poem crafted May twenty third 
two thousand and twenty
since the following words apropos
and amply serve a duplicate purpose
of aforementioned title,
when yours truly enlisted
(before any consideration 
arose to object
threading shower rings 
thru scissor made...

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Lovely enchantress of cyberspace

Betwixt and between us
lies an immense untraversable realm
of never knowable forbidding possibilities
quixotic, rhapsodic, sympathetic, telepathic...,
where tantalizing, scandalizing, and revolting, 
nevertheless promising fantasies beckons
buzzfeeding, crowdsourcing, dovetailing,
earthshaking, foo fighting, hashtagging,
jump/kick starting, twittering
uber whatsapp pining

toward pinteresting paroxysms
of mental, physical, and spiritual ecstasy
courtesy hotmail testosterone teasing...

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Bad ass beauty brought bedlam, and begat bastard child...
courtesy booty call minus preemptive measures
while plugg naughty bits of tarnished knight 
while he took tea and crumpets within mistress's boudoir

The following verses typed out some years ago,
but equally pertinent and relevant to the ebb and flow
of...

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