Best Humorous Poetry
Tell me
how did we get here
at a swishing swapping party?
(The voices echo in emptiness)
Bubbly cheerful and happy, naked and raw
forever bachelors Larry and Harry,
and the hot mom and the pool boy
go flash dancing with dawn!
Be warned, winkydinks
I had a Martini: ok, maybe four
I don't accept or understand
the drunken Socrates and his ouzo -
he’s the beast with eyes too kind!
What was it like back then ...
on being offered cheese as a dessert -
my blue cheese is a dark, reddish brown ...
Did you know
Hell hath no donuts !
20 Titles From 20 Friends Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Richard Lamoureux
7/18/19
Titles Used -
Tell Me - Poem by Ilene Bauer
How Did We Get Here D M Babbit
at ‘A Swishing Swapping Party’ by Paul Callus
The Voices Echo in Emptiness by Eve Roper
Bubbly Cheerful And Happy by Anne-lise Andresen
Naked And Raw by Maurice Yvonne
Forever Bachelors Larry and Harry by Carolyn Devonshire
The Hot Mom and The Pool Boy by Tim Smith
Flash dancing with dawn! by Connie Marcum Wong
Be warned, winkydinks by Gershon Wolf
I Had a Martini: Ok, Maybe Four by Lin Lane
I Don't Accept or Understand by Dear Heart
The Drunken… by Pashang Salehi
Socrates and his Ouzo by Arthur Vaso
The Beast with Eyes Too Kind by Andrea Dietrich
What was it like back then by Curtis Moorman
On being offered cheese as a dessert by Nina Parmenter
My Blue Cheese is a Dark, Reddish Brown by Mike Gentile
Did you Know by Alexis Y
Hell Hath No Donuts by Michelle Faulkner
I’ve received an incredible gift
It has given my heart such a lift
But the date that I see
Is what now concerns me –
It’s the date I no longer exist!!!
Today I was gifted a 'lifetime' premium membership but it is somewhat disconcerting to see it ends on 3/20/2077. I hope TPS aren't psychic!!!!
My mother's great great aunt lived to 111 and 121 days and was in the Guinness book of records - I hope I am around a long long time to make full use of this incredible gift.
14th October 2016
I hesitated for over a month – should I join Poetry Soup …
Would they like my poems and accept me in their group?
It is not my intention to be a famous writer
I try and write with wit to make our lives a little brighter
I write on many subjects – I sometimes have a moan
My humour is ‘unique’ and may make some people groan
Harsh words can knock us back; criticism can drag us down
Let’s try to live here in harmony and smile instead of frown
I try to be lighthearted and if I can make people smile
They may forget problems and their worries for a while
Kind words cost us nothing - a smile can brighten up our day
I hope that I can make a difference with the words I say
Some do not like my poems - I can’t please everyone
But I hope my style brings Poetry Soup some fun!
Well the title says it all … I ‘con’ you all that I’m a poet!
04~14~15
Contest I Icon – Sheri Fresonke Harper
How high the bar that makes a poet Real!
(He walks in mists, and shadows of himself)
To be a poet, is to burn with steel
Set short time in the forge, the lesser self!
He brands his heart with fiery words, set down
And burns his mind with thinking, ‘til it glows,
He hopes, of sonnets, his will be the Crown,
And hopes that all the brilliance of light, shows!
But, oftener, he writes a humble piece,
A few words cramped into a simple form,
But somehow, in his feelings, a release!
Yes, humble-bumble often is the norm.
And that high bar, he reaches seldom, and
Leaves barefoot footprints in the fruity sand.
2/20/2019
Deer poet tree righters fore the cite
Pleas will ewe bee sweet
and worn me if ewe have scene any miss stakes eye have maid
butt eye no my speeling and ewes off English is prefect!
Eye am knot shore if eye have ever tolled ewe
that when eye right poet tree at knight ore in the mourning
eye don’t knead too ewes a smell chequer ore a theo sorearse
Off coarse, eye don’t no weather aisle get a first plaice inn the con test
butt eye want John too chews me sew eye can crews two victory!
HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU THAT...... Poetry Contest
Sponsored by John Lawless
11/11/20
Jan always likes a good pun.
She can take any topic and run.
What she writes on a fart
May not make us swoon: "Art!",
But we'll LAUGH,'cause her poems are FUN!
For Jan who reminds me that writing should first and foremost be fun!
I’m straying away from the norm
It’s stressing me out to conform
A fave form I must adjust -
The last line’s bitten the dust!
Sweet Nina is causing mischief
I’m sobbing, she’s causing me grief
Limerick’s are divine -
This one’s missing a line!
My chosen form now has mutated
It’s modern, the old ones outdated
Will my new form catch on
Now the last line has gone!
I’ve invented the ‘slimerick’ it’s a traditional limerick form but with the final line missing!
Mischief Contest Sponsor Nina Parmenter
9/5/18
Like hard, dry toast, with no aroma,
Poetry minus heart and soul, puts me in
an endless coma!
My brain short circuits, the longer the poem!
I get a poetic seizure and my mind
is lost and endlessly roams.
Then come the poets, who are would-be
philosophers!
As fascinating, and exciting as wooden bean
counters.
Finally, those poets, who think the divine
Thesaurus, makes a poem a dream?
I sit here, in agonizing tears and do a
howling scream!
11/12/2024
I never enter every contest on soup
Sometimes sponsors can be very hard to please
Achieving first place is not always a breeze
Some don’t like me writing poems about poop
Yet every person is unique in our group
Some wonderful poets with great expertise
Writing different forms with consummate ease
To be skilled like them then I’d be cock a hoop
Yet people moan when they don’t get a high place
Think their poetry is much better than 'mine'
Tell the sponsors their judgment is a disgrace
It saddens me their feelings are so malign
Criticise until they are blue in the face
For each of us thinks our poems are divine
Written after reading Tommy Boy's recent blog
Jan Allison
N/A in contest judged on 20th November
Submitted to trashed #4
sponsored by Broken Wings
10~17~15
Italian Sonnet - Rhyme Scheme - abbaabba cdcdcd
Water wives live sheltered lives
Amongst the coves where pirates rove
Daily catch is makers match
Where red hot stoves hide fresh baked loaves
Water men are thick and thin
So often strove where shipmates hove
Water child is often wild
The treasure trove where pirates roved
19Mar14
If my meter were sweeter could I be the star of the show
I struggle with getting it right – I know I’ve a long way to go
I sound out the syllables but where is the stress
Apart from in my brain - oh I make such a mess
'Foot’ or ‘feet’ aren’t the limbs that I see
Iambic pentameter – its French and Greek to me!
Da DAH Da Da DAH ... it’s ringing in my head
Oh I’ve had enough so I’m going back to bed
10th April 2015
I’ve got a secret to tell you, so gather round to hear
I had afternoon tea with the Queen in May this year
Her majesty was wearing a dress of bright emerald green
When she walked in the room she looked so serene
A corgi puppy bounded in and sat down on her knee
The Queen was perfectly poised whilst she sipped her tea
We nibbled cucumber sandwiches with the crusts removed
I didn’t drop a crumb on the red carpet, I hope her Majesty approved!
We talked at length about my poetry
Her majesty asked ‘could you recite one for me’
I smiled and recited an old limerick or two
The Queen then asked for a poem that was new
How could I refuse a request from the Queen like that
So I made up a poem about the corgi chasing the cat
Oh how the Queen laughed and smiled with glee
She decreed me to be the writer of royal poetry
So now I e mail her majesty every single day
My poems are read to the Queen by her valet
I’m an official royal poet and I am so excited
I hope it won’t be too long before I get knighted
Contest Tell a tall tale Sponsored by Jesse Day
07~03~16
Jan doesn't write iambic pentameter
So please don't condescend and mock her
We have different styles
I bring laughter and smiles
Please remember Jan is just an amateur!
30th April 2015
This form repeats too much, I say.
It’s hard to write a villanelle—
I’ll try again some other day.
My rhyme begins without delay;
It’s going fine, then—what the hell?
This form repeats too much, I say.
Doggone it! This is not okay!
I’m under some nefarious spell.
I’ll try again some other day.
But no, I cannot stay away.
I breathe, then smell that same old smell:
This form repeats too much, I say.
I took the bait; I’ve fallen prey;
The crude result I cannot tell—
I’ll try again some other day.
And thus I end this odd ballet.
(I’ve really never danced too well.)
This form repeats too much, I say;
I’ll try again some other day.
Last night I had a dream
I’d met the king and queen.
I was among the guest,
waiting to be seen.
They sat in separate rooms
and interviewed each guest,
When it was my turn,
I curtsied and begun
I spoke to only Charles
and even danced with him
Diana was there too,
she spoke to but a few.
I wondered if he knew,
If the rumors were all true.
That she was not to be
with him eternally.
Then one day she was gone
She left her loving sons
her dreams to carry on
The work she had begun
Humorous Rhyme - 8/2/2013