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Best Holy Cow Poems | Poetry

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New Holy Cow Poems

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Holy Cow by messina, charles
Holy Cow by Velves, Robert
Holy Cow, Oven Nation Gone Fowl one cluck by harris, matthew
Holy Cow, Oven Nation Gone Fowl two cluck by harris, matthew
Holy Cow- by Pinet, Emile
Holy Cow It's Bigfoot by Gangabissoon, Anoucheka
Holy Cow, It's Big Foot by Kendrick, Sara
Holy Cow Batman by bartholomew, cortney
Holy Cow, Ii's Bigfoot by Johnson, Joyce
Holy Cow! by Smith-Johnsen, Dane Ann

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The Best Holy Cow Poems

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

It

I wish to be here
In the now of it
The wow of it
The holy cow of it
Living the moment
Feeling the pop and glow of it
Instead of the I don't know of it
Worrying about the what went wrong of it
and why all the pieces don't completely fit 
To afraid to make the next move
So on my proverbial *** I sit

Yesterday swallows up the now of it
Wishing and wondering how to edit it
Leaving me feeling like such a twit
Wearing old garments
That never fit
Is there 
I ask
any sense to it
This worrying and worrying
Always lured into my mental pit
The shadows that keep me from enjoying it
Stuck back at beginnings
I wish and I wish that my mind would quit
Sadly my light isn't on 
it was never lit!

I realize
That's not where I want to be
It's here and now I wish to be
There is so much beauty to see
Worry and regret are the enemy
So I count each and every breath
Pause then breathe one two three
Mind fully cleared
Sitting under a tree
Sky blue 
finally mind emptied
Lock opened 
I am finally freed

Enjoying it
Being in it
Feeling the wow of it
The holy cow of it
Feeling the glow and pop of it
So glad and thankful
To be in the middle and now of it
I now know it is a perfect fit

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Lollipop, Lollipop, Lollipop

Lollipop, Lollipop, Lollipop
Remember way back when?
Gummy bears and peppermint sticks
Such treats when we were ten

Teenage years weren't far behind
Raging hormones and pimply skin
And puppy love so intense
It sent our heads in a spin

Soon we made it to almost twenty
Really couldn't imagine how
Our first job is a cashier at Walmart
Making real money, holy cow

We meet that sweet special someone
Our world is twirling around
Before we can say Jackie Robinson
We two are parenthood bound

We're blessed with a couple of kiddies
Relieved when they finally mature
They grow up to be a doctor and lawyer
We're peacock proud for sure

Never thought I'd see the day
When someone would call me Gramps
It all started with ice cream and lollipops
When we were a couple of scamps

© Jack Ellison 2012

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Jeeeeez

In years gone by, folks didn’t like to say
God’s name to show  surprise or great dismay,
and so you would hear “Goodness,“ “Gol” and “Gee,“
and also euphemisms for J.C.

Jiminy Cricket! Doesn’t that sound nice?
Jeepers Creepers, Jason Crisp or Cheese and Rice?
Godfrey Daniel! Surely you know that
is slang for God and “God rot it” is “Drat!”

“Oh my gosh,” “My goodness,” or simply “Lord”
replaced expletives that today come poured
from mouths of kids who can’t be mannerly
to just say “Leapin‘ Lizards“ or “Golly Gee!”.

You’ll hear (for damning something with God’s name),
“Dag nabbit” and “Dad gum.” They might seem tame
but fit the bill and give us a small thrill!
But dang it, why would someone say “Sam Hill?”

Words from the Holy Bible we enjoy
employing when we say Holy Moley,
Holy cow, Judas Priest (but WAIT!)
For Pete’s Sake! How did Judas ever rate?

Great Scott, there’s even Jumpin’ Jehosophat!
How the HECK did they ever come up with that?
By Jove, I’m nearly finished. Now pretty please. . . .
Instead of using Christ’s name, just say Jeeeeez!


Written July 26, 2015

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Holy Cow, Ii's Bigfoot

Living near the Lumni Indians 
In our own Puget Sound
Is a family of humanoids.
Few folks know they’re around.

They come down from nearby mountains
To escape the winter snow
To where grass and game is available
In the valleys down below.

When the children should speak of them,
Their Indian elders tell them, “Hush!
They’re not safe around outsiders.
You all know what they did to us.”

They have relatives with different names
In exotic far off places.
The Sasquatch creatures are our own,
Though few have seen their faces.

Known as Bigfoot in our local myth,
(though many claim him real)
You’ll not find him in the circus
His wild mystery to reveal.

Supposedly he’s been here long
Before the white men came.
He made friends with Native Americans
Who consider him quite tame. 

He walks as upright as any man
And is claimed extremely tall.
He’s covered in hair from head to toe,
Starting in the early fall.

They say that in the summer time
He’s as bare as you and me.
He walks boldly in the nudist camps
For everyone to see.


Joyce Johnson

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Something Odd Goin' On

What's up?
What's going on?
How come it's 3AM?
And bright as noon?
Have I finally made it
Into a Looney-Tune?

Who left me a hot breakfast,
Then disappeard?
How the hell did I
Overnight grow a green beard?

And that new Lamborgini
In my driveway
Painted purple, black,
and red, each a circle round

Am I a mad old hack?
I see a cab's roof light
On it, like a crown.

The door sign says
$100.00 first quarter mile,
$200.00 each following quarter
So ridiculous I had to smile

Is this someone's idea
Of a joke?
To make of me,
A fool , one to poke?

I grabbed my pants,
To go out to inspect
Golly, gosh darn
This I did not expect...
Every pair had four legs,
you see...
Someone tell me,
How this could be!

Perhaps I'm yet asleep,
And this is but a dream,
Maybe a nightmare brought on
By last night's ice cream
So I dug out the ice cream,
To see the brand and flavor,
Perhaps laced with acid,
By some angry neighbor...

"Trolley Madison" the brand,
The flavor "Mulch"
I start to feel a panic grow,
Turn on the TV to distract me,
You know?
But it does not come on,
The dryer does,
And the radio blasts
A Taliban song,
What the hell is going on?
What part of hell is this?
What did I do so wrong?

Guess I'll go back to bed,
And hope my next awakening
Will be more normal instead,
So I return to my bedroom now,
All I can utter is "Holy Cow!"

For my bedroom is now
A subway station,
Out here in the Kansas plains, to boot!
I better get some whiskey,
I sure could use a toot!

I pour some Southern Comfort,
And out pops corn bread and grits...
I guess I should be grateful,
It wasn't a bowl of horsy sh_ts.

I better call my boss,
Explain I'd be late to work,
But he had never heard of me,
And thought me but a jerk...

And I could hardly
disagree with him,
For when I put down the phone,
The chord was a garden snake
And I was not alone

The cats I don't own,
 the dog I'd dreamed of getting,
All crowded around me,
For food and some petting

In panic, I went out the front door,
Not knowing what to expect
Found myself on the conning tower
bridge,
Of an atomic submarine quite wrecked

Enough!  Enough! Enough!
I cried,
Clenched fist aimed at the sun
Why have you forsaken me?
What wrongful sin have I done?

But the seas did not part,
And the nightmare did restart.
I dove over the side of the submarione,
Ending up next to my bed
On the floor with reality shed.

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

The Week Before Xmas

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way,
Oh what fun it is to pay that credit card today.
Lots of stuff, mostly junk, keeps us in the red,
Need to keep a little back, just to keep us fed.
.
Dashing through the store, pushing left and right,
Looking for the sales.. Couldn’t sleep last night.
Country’s in a mess, shouldn’t spend this way,
Just found out I kept my job, for at least another day.

Jingle bells, Jingle Bell, Jingle all the way,
Holy Cow, I can’t wait, until the month of May.

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Swamp Nightmare

Swamp Nightmare

Oh! me oh! my boo hoo!
Whatever shall we do
Now it’s going far too well
When it should be going to hell

The Economy is booming
No catastrophe yet looming
After choosing Donald Trump
Where recession? where the slump?

But we’re nearing full employment
All who can, in max deployment 
Black and white yellow and brown
Income up and food stamps down

Holy cow-farts! mercy me!
Not the way that it should be
They’ll soon be saying Co2
Is good for plants, for me and you

Fat boy Kim not shooting rockets 
NATO digging in their pockets
Who’s now talking about ISIS
We must find a brand new crisis

Trump investigation arid
Every accusation parried
Muller’s litigious top notchers 
Surely they can find some ‘gotchas’!

So unfair it can’t be right
A spectre in the dark of night
What went wrong. She should have won
 She was on a straight home run

But we never will surrender
With all forces we can render
We will surely draw his blood 
As we dig deeper in the mud

We may yet be his ‘Grim Reaper’
For the Swamp goes so much deeper
But for now we do beseech
All together cry: ‘EMPEACH!’

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Holy Cow-

There once was a chef named Lew

who swore Samuel's words were true

that Sacred cows make
 
a great tasting steak

and the best hamburgers too.


Sacred cows make the best hamburger. 
Quote by Samuel Clemens (A.K.A. Mark Twain) 
(1835-1910) U.S. humorist, writer, and lecturer.

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

for the listening

heres a brush, dont comb your hair
no need for touch, pictures float in air
words paint an image, with room to spare
skull cap open, bowl full of rare
no fools allowed, deep thoughts out loud
bow when I finished, no bowing down
no cowing out, holy cow sound
sacrificed lamb, ostracized bound
break ground no ground hogs found
clouds still there, shadows over town
colossus in distance, silver in a crown
rainstorm for a hat, shower till i drown
no ark necessary, I go with the flow
all art especially made with pain and soul
blood in the mix, sweat for the christening
hugs over sex, I don't rap for the listening

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Holy Cow, It's Big Foot

 As an orange sun sets in the west
Silhouetting the trees
Flashes of orange and bright, bright white
Sights eyes can not believe

What were those flashes of orange
And white so clean and bright
Curiosity got my interest
And covered all the fright

As soon as next day's sun came up
On a trek to explore
In the woods and up the mountain
This enigma can't ignore

It was a long hard climb to the top
But there were flowers blooming.
In the shade, on the forest floor
Seemed something was looming

In fright I crept along the path
Well beaten by creatures
Mice, squirrels, and chipmonks footsteps
Along the trail featured

Then there asleep just outside a cave 
Wearing nothing but shoes
White high top athletic pair
An orange ape peruse

Holy cow, it's bigfoot sound asleep
Just inside the cave more
High top athletic shoes bright white
To keep them clean a chore

Bigfoot began to move and stretch
Behind a tree I hid
He began to unlace his shoes
And those big feet undid

Augh!!! The odor that came from those
Feet, I almost got sick
He went down to the creek and washed
Coming back really quick

He threw the smelly shoes in the wash
And powdered down some clean
Danced away across the forest
Awaking me from dreams

Sponsor: Skat A (Poet, Destroyer A)
Contest: Bigfoot (the contest)
Written: April 20, 2015
Author: Sara Kendrick

unfinished

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Bob the Bigfoot

HOLY COW! It's Bigfoot, there in the brush
Lower your voices- he's skiddish
Now, hush
I know his habits, I'm privy as hell
An expert and scholar, I've studied him well

While in line at the grocery 
For years I've immersed 
In various tabloids becoming well versed
I even speak sasquatch
Oh, you don’t believe?!
It's a cross between Latin and baboonanese

His dads a zookeeper, his mothers a chimp
Her name is Chin Chin- his name is Chip
He's a renaissance man
Well at least is half way
The other halves savage in need of a shave

Just stash those cameras he hates paparazzi
And Jack Links commercials
And rappers with posses
He loathes boy bands and people named Josh 
And meat from a can
And Spicegirls called Posh

He's against any wars 
but supports the troops
And completely abhors
When his fur cakes with poop

 detests media bias
mainly FOX NEWS
But believes Bill O'reilly 
has interesting views

He enjoys fine wine and deep conversation
Flinging his poo and masturbation
Those would be two of his favorite hobbies
The world calls him Big Foot
His pops calls him Robbie

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

he led her

He led her
to a place of stature
holy cow

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

I'm lost inside myself

I found myself lost in the dark abyss.
Upon finding myself, I've come up with this: 
"Am I going to be missed 
Or am I going to be ignored just like every morning's mist?" 

I don't know, I'm not sure when or how 
But does losing myself going to help me somehow? 
Will it make me realize my dreams 
Or just make me give up and let my life be carried away with the water that roll down the streams?  

I've got no direction, I feel so lost. 
I've built up walls that no one can ever cross. 
It was I who made it that's why right now I'm frustrated 
Holy cow! I made a barrier that gets the whole situation more complicated  

I think I belong to the fallen ones 
People who had a dream once 
But fell and got locked away  
To a perfect slumber where they can't not stay.  

I screamed and screamed  
But still no one seemed 
to notice the things  
That for so long, I am burdened with.  

As my tears fell down like droplets of a morning dew, 
I think to myself, "Can I really start anew?" 
I cannot wait for the day to say, 
"Hannah! I've finally found you!"

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Don't Waste A Moment



Went for a walk in the park today

First time since way back in the fall

My spirits soared to the heavens above

Felt a thrilling surge of happiness

Reborn is the best way to describe it

The absolute sweetest time of the whole year

Too bad it can't be spring for the whole 12 months

Naw! We wouldn't appreciate it then

It would just be the same old same old

But holy cow what a fantastic same old!

Guess we should just be satisfied

The way it's been since we first opened our eyes!

We should just enjoy it while it's here

So get out there and make every minute count

We only have a relatively short time here on the earth

DON'T WASTE A MOMENT!!!



© Jack Ellison 2014

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Ever Seen A Grizzly - Bare



Have you ever seen a grizzly... bare?
And told him to put on some clothes
I did that once, but it must have upset him
Because he reared back on his toes

Well this guy's no freaking big hero
So I started to take off like a shot
But before I could, he grabs me and says 
“I'm your friend... like it or not!”

Mr. Grizzly must surely have noticed
Sweat pouring down from my brow
He started to laugh like big bears do
Scared the poop out of me... holy cow!

As he held me, I calmed down a little bit
He seemed like a friendly old chap
But those teeth of his were really sharp
He was drooling from his cavernous yap

He really seemed like a kindly old soul
Neither nasty, nor scary, nor mean
I asked if he'd like to come home for honey
But insisted he put on some jeans

The reason was cause of my kiddies I told him
Not nice to go showing your parts
It's just a matter of common decency
Wanted to get that straight from the start

So off we go, Mr. Grizzly and me
I'm feeling warm and fuzzy all over
Another new friend to share some laughs
Along with my old dog Rover


© Jack Ellison 2015

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

CLEAN UNDERWEAR

CLEAN UNDERWEAR

My dearest mother was a nag
Tho' her heart was in the right place
She washed and ironed and fed us
But was always in our face.

As I headed out the door
My pack strapped to my rear
She shouted from the upstairs floor
"Be sure to wear clean underwear!"

It was her daily, nagging howl
Oh man, I thought, here we go again
"Holy cow, what for?" I yell at her and scowl
I don't wait for her reply - I know it's that damn train

c ELR 2013

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Holy Cow It's Bigfoot

The world does believe in this mysterious creature
To prove its existence, some into dangerous spots did even venture
But hey, would you believe that falsely do I pretend
If I told you that the Bigfoot does live close by, on my island!

Yes, it does reside here
It is even my wonderful peer
Here, in the island of Mauritius
An island with a magical meaning, always making it so precious!

I saw it first when I was out for a trip
Into the dense forests did I dare walk in
Hoping to find maybe an iceberg, even its very tip
Hoping even to meet with a nice jhin

I was out with a crowd
Drunk, they did sing loud
So much that I felt fed up
And wandered away from the prescribed step

That was then I came face to face with the bigfoot
It was tall, dark, and furry
It had teeth which snarled dangerously
And its face looked as if it was covered with soot

It looked at me and I looked at it
I was about to scream
But it chose to share with me, its food, even if only a bit
I loved it right there, and I chose to give him Mystic as name

Why, I know not how it came to my island
Maybe it did escape from some other land
Maybe it has lived here since eons
Why, what matters is that now we are great friends

Every week, I do go to pay it a visit
Of course, its existence is yet a secret
None except me does know that I am friends with a bigfoot
None except me and my wonderful friend!

But hey, I was indeed surprised
Holy cow! It's the bigfoot
Knowing that my friend is greatly prized
Why, I shall keep my secret to myself!

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Transition

Transitions are hard, and at times can be scary. 
Like Frankenstein coming up out of the grave, 
Or the devil staring you down with a stake. 
Holy cow the fear is talking now, 
And it seems as if there's 
No way of stopping it now. 

For many people this transition 
Of power will be a scary process. 
The fear of losing your home, or
Being separated from your family,
Haunts you like a bad dream.

At first it may have seemed false, 
Like made up facts, just to get an edge. 
But now as the transition gets closer, 
The chances of deportation are closer. 
Fear is running through people’s minds, 
Like rats hiding within peep holes.

Change is on the horizon and 
It's coming with a mission, 
To shift the atmosphere 
and make visions clear.
With another transition, underway,
All I can do is hope and pray;
The next man in office 
shows us a better way.
Don't feed off us, 
like a predator hunting prey.

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Eat Your Greens!

By Deb and Dane

“You need to eat real greens.” Mom alarm!
The child went for the ‘ucky Charms.

“What? You're eating sugar transformed!”
They don’t grow that on any farm!”

“You need to eat real greens.” Mom said.
Boyo reached for the Charms instead.

“But Ma. The box says it full of vitamins!”
“Better be! It wasn’t laid by hens!”

“That cereal is nothing but sugar, honey.
Companies sell it to makes lots of money.”

“Then, why’d Dad buy it for the house?
Did you plan to feed it to the mouse?”

“You need to eat garden-fresh food.
You know; been told, I’m in NO mood.”

“PLEASE, Ma!  Charms and milk won’t cause harm!
Milk does come from a dairy farm”

“’ucky Charms might be a nice snack,
But meals must be nutrition packed.”

“You eat lots of Charms, zap! It seems.
More vitamins than ‘ucky greens!

Three bowls downed were his tasty meal.
Out like a light, he seemed to reel.

(Sugar shock set in, burnt him out.)
He woke SO sick. Was there a doubt?

“We’re going to the Doctor now!
Mother said shouting "Holy Cow!"

He’ll give you a little pink pill.
To cure ALL your rambunctious ills

(Rushed to the doctor for some help.)
Sick as a 
dog was this young whelp.

Dad had to pay for ‘ucky Charms
Boyo paid for not eating FARM!

Corps. got paid, pill and cereal.
Doc. got paid  insurance by deal.

Round and round so this story goes.
EAT RIGHT and you'll stop THEIR green flow.

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Sleepless Night

another sleepless night
they'll say I'm not alright
they want to diagnose me
they'll be saying I'm crazy
wouldn't change a thing in my life
even the three tries for a wife
night or day doesn't matter
in mirror still look fatter
make lemonade they tell me
I'd rather be making tea
memories are stronger now
just want to say  Holy Cow

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

We're Going Greek Yogurt

We need to go Greek
But not back to school
That’s not what we seek
We just need some fuel
And will this hour
Increase our power
When we devour
. . .Greek Yogurt. . .

Do you know what I mean
What we need right away
Without any whey
Is Greek yogurt protein!

We’ll buy it plain
And then add some fruit
We don’t prefer Dane
Nor dine on Beirut
Have tried Moscow
But holy cow
We can’t do that now. . .

We know what we speak
Great yogurt we seek
And since we’re chic. . .
We’re all going Greek!


David Fisher June 3, 2015  For Sing me a jingle contest

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Ya Sure! You Betcha!

building up to a
well then

could hardly
wait a minute

cantcha see?
it's gonna be

pretty quick now!
jus' in time!

holy cow!
Halsey Hall!

seems to me
okay then

'boughta minute
geeze louise!

hope ya know!
'tween you an me

jus' cuz ya said so
ain't gonna be!

but jus' in case
somebody butts in

to letcha know
that yer ok!

smile at 'im
and say

sure!



* how sum of us.... 'Up-North' here talk!! (but not me! you betcha!)

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

I Miss You

“When you’re not with me, what’s not to miss?
 I feel poor, in need for bliss
No lips on earth compare to your kiss
I need you bad, wassup with this
Missing sickness that slit my wrists
If the world was lost, you’re the first I’ll miss

Lexy Lexy where is me Lexy
If you’re in space then the world is not sexy
Clean my emotion, because it feels too messy
From trashing my miss, I miss me Lexy

Just wait? I can’t, I need you NOW
I love you massively, holy cow!!!
I miss our tenderness and all the wow
While love performs, societies take a bow

Time is cold, I think it’s sick
Froze it is and this moment it pick
I’ll fight the time with a punch and kick
 It better speed up or I’ll grab a brick
Solid time right now and he thinks he’s slick
But he can’t defeat me, my heart is thick

I can scream out loud but you’ll never hear-me
My heart is too vigorous, it can’t go weary 
You miss your man; I’m here, here-he
Your absence darken my heart to make it seem eerie 
Your love is the light, I miss you dearly”

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

MEN AND MARRIAGE

What is it with some men?
Is this what those nuptials meant?
You are turned into his mother figure,
A holy cow, meals, housework, rigour,
Maybe there's no luck in love,
So much for wedding doves....
"I am not your mother!"
I wished  I'd yelled an another,
Maybe I don't know how to train a man,
Maybe a manual should come in a can,
Then you could have twins in tins,
Fully formed, no nappy pins,
Maybe it is the male gender,
They really want nannies for their benders,
Is this what those nuptials meant?
What is with some men?

Details | Holy Cow Poem |

Back to the Future

Waking up in the year 2020,
I went to the local store
to buy some much 
needed groceries,
"what?" I said,
a loaf of bread $10.00,
and a gallon of milk
$20.00, "holy cow!,
can't even afford to
buy a few staple sundries,
is this some kind of joke
and is someone
trying to be funny?"
I noticed a lot of the
few people shopping
who were also in a
pinch, looking very
thin and gaunt,
their belts very cinched,
went up to one and
asked why food was
so darn expensive,
she just sadly looked
back at me and said
"after the past election,
and just like Germany
in the 1920's
there is hardly any
middle class left
and now we have
more socialism,
the economic bubble
finally burst, and
we have hyperinflation!"
Thought to myself,
how'd this all happen,
then remembered I
was too busy watching
reality shows to really
pay any attention.

Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value-zero.-Voltaire